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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Drinking a Martini with the Devil
A poem by Wolf Larsen
It’s Monday morning and I’m flying to work on Richard Pryor’s big black Dick
At work Richard Pryor’s big black Dick lands straight in the boss’s anus
The boss then walks off into a Hieronymus Bosch painting
And the boss is never heard from again
Meanwhile I’m being kidnapped by a group of flying clouds in the sky
And now I’m trapped forever inside of Johannes Brahms Second Symphony
And I can’t get out
But Larry Flynt continues doing my poetry with Les Demoiselles d’Avignon
So this poem now has syphilis
I hope you were wearing a condom
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
A Crack Cocaine National Anthem
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Jackson Pollock is ejaculating change-you-can-believe-in
& make-America-great-again all over an abstract expressionist canvas
While Les Demoiselles d'Avignon of the United States Congress
are having an orgy with the corporate lobbyists on Capitol Hill
And the nine pair of buttocks in black robes of the Supreme Court
Are all simultaneously reciting different Anne Sexton poems
While the American president is snorting the CIA up his nose
And Diego Rivera is painting a mural of hunger & poverty
From sea to shining sea
And Wolf Larsen is urinating his poetry all over the executive & legislative & judicial branches of this horror house or whorehouse government
And now Jackson Pollock is ejaculating the ending of the poem all over this page
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
Advance permission is given for the reproduction of this poem both in physical form and on the Internet, as long as the text is not edited, the author is given credit, and the intent of such publication is not hostile.
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The Unemployed Masses Eating the Rich for Lunch
A poem by Wolf Larsen
While we go hungry
The rich are all snorting liberty & justice up their noses
And everybody in Congress is smoking crack
While the ballet dancers are all dancing to air raid sirens
And Penderecki is on the street corner rapping about endless war & corporate bailouts & where’s the PPE
And President Crazy is snorting the entire universe up his nose
Before He goes to press conference
While Joe “Yeeeeehaaaaaww” Biden is rioting with racist mobs and yelling racial slurs at black schoolchildren during the 1970s
And a homeless man coughing & coughing is
Throwing desperation & eviction notices & closed factories into a canvas that’s boiling out of his mind
And then Hieronymus Bosch takes over and jumps into everyone’s head
And Bosch begins painting the nightmare we’re living in
And then the poet jumps up
And screams for the liberation of the human race
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
Advance permission is given for the reproduction of this poem both in physical form and on the Internet, as long as the text is not edited, the author is given credit, and the intent of such publication is not hostile.
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Drinking Coronas in the Park Wednesday Afternoon
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Alfred Schnittke is creating a canvas of Campbell’s Soup & multiple Marilyn Monroe vaginas & parading big black Dicks with Andy Warhol
While Wolf Larsen drinks endless bottles of Corona with thousands of dancing-transvestite-Vikings in the park
And everybody in South America rides a rainbow through the sky
And lands in the park with Wolf Larsen and the thousands of dancing-transvestite-Vikings
And inside each bottle of Corona is a different Jeannie screaming out the meaning of life
As everyone drinks the female orgasm of Corona that’s water-falling out of the Virgin Mary’s Vagina all over the planet Earth
And rainbows fly up-and-down-and-around the city
And the city jumps off the ground
And beautiful painted nudes come to life and walk out of the canvases
And the beautiful painted nudes seduce all of the space aliens
That are jumping out of our bottles of Corona
As we all dance the dance of the Corona pandemic together
And everyone smiles up at the Greek gods in the sky
As the Greek gods engage in the pagan rituals of anal sex together
As the flying naked babies play the harp & the lute
And then a group of gang bangers stomp the poem to death
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
I Dress Boris Johnson Up in French Négligée, and I Put a Collar & Leash on Him, and I Walk Him Through the Park
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Today’s poem was eating hundreds of penises when -
No, wait! It was hundreds of penises with giant mouths that were devouring today’s poem!
Or maybe it was huge vaginas jumping out of the computer screen that were attacking the city and devouring everyone!
No, wait! It was the Klingons from Star Trek! Or maybe it was the Democrats! Or perhaps the Republicans! No, wait! It was Klingons from the Democratic Party invading us from the big anus in outer space - or was it huge vaginas sent from the Republican Party in Washington DC to attack the blue state city of Chicago with endless female orgasms - tidal waves of female orgasms - and now we’re all bailing out female orgasms from our basements
Actually, I didn’t write a poem this morning because I had some errands to do, and while I was doing my errands, the blue sky tapped me on the shoulder, and the blue sky ejaculated a giant prose poem all over me, and now I’m dripping wet with this prose poem - wait! Somebody is not at the door! Somebody is not knocking on my door! So a three-headed monster with the faces of Al Capone & Richard J Daley & Mickey Mouse carrying a huge black penis to shoot me full of regular Democratic organization spermatozoa, but what does any of this have to do with belly buttons? I’m talking about belly buttons!! A symphony of belly buttons! We’re all going to be riding giant belly buttons into the past! And into the future! In fact, this poem has just been swallowed by your belly button! If you want to read the rest of the poem you’ll just have to lay down in your belly button, and read the walls of Arabic calligraphy rising-and-falling-and-rolling around the walls of your belly button - a huge phrase of poetry in Arabic calligraphy that never ends!
I hope that Uncle Sam doesn’t blow me up from one of them drones in the sky for saying that Arab calligraphy is beautiful! Big brother is watching me write this poem... Well, that’s it for now! I’m going to go **** my cat
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
A Huge Sculpture of My Erection in Front of City Hall
A poem by Wolf Larsen
I was jumping into a naked symphony
I was singing with my feet
I was urinating into the sky
I was pulling 10,000 penises out of my crotch
And blessing your wife with immaculate conception all weekend long
Because I am the Attila the Hun of anal sex
I am millions of screaming warriors charging across the landscape
All charging out of my ball sack
And into the beautiful Henry Moore sculpture of your wife
Because I am the classical music of cannibalism
And the timpani drums are playing my thoughts
And everything is nowhere
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
My Brains are Burning Down
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The poem is growing out of the Poet’s butthole
And now a bunch of demons are flying out of your telephone
And devouring everyone
And everyone tastes like a disco song
And everyone’s penises are jumping out of their crotches
And all of the penises are dancing down the streets
Singing love songs to the rainbows of crack cocaine
And the rainbows of crack cocaine are jumping
Out of the mouths of all of the barking dogs
That are ice-skating out of all of the paintings
That are rolling & rolling around the assembly lines of hell
As the devil dances to the speeches of the president of the United States of America
And all of the cats of the world
Are meowing & meowing an opera together at three in the morning
While the Poet unzips his pants
And urinates all over this poem
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
Portrait of the Artist Jacking Off 10-Times-a-Day as a Young Man
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Michelangelo’s David is riding a giant dildo around & around the planet Jupiter
While Leonardo da Vinci’s Mona Lisa is having a gang bang with half-a-dozen black guys in a porn movie set in Miami
That’s when the Statue of Liberty pulls out her big Dick and ejaculates all the words of this poem onto the page
Then a naked Uncle Sam jumps out of the Statue of Liberty’s butt
And the naked Uncle Sam sings flying cockroaches to all of the
Thousand of Andy Warhol clones in wedding dresses dancing down the empty avenues of Manhattan
Dancing towards the two twin 100 story penises at the southern edge of Manhattan
Both of the twin 100 story penises are dressed in tuxedos for the occasion
Then an Alaskan fishing trawler pulls a 100 ton net of fresh fish
Out of the Mona Lisa’s vagina
And then the Poet & the reader sit down to eat fish and chips together
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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The Jazz Symphony of Belly Button Madness
(Performed by the Transvestite Empress of Sexual Cubism: Wolf Larsen)
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The black hole in the center of the universe is in the middle of my face
And all of the planets & moons & sons are flying out of my face
And all of the madmen in all of the insane asylums of the world are painting my face over & over again
And I’m painting the four walls of my studio apartment with madness & more madness & yet more madness
And everyone on the subway trains & buses is composing symphonies of madness & more madness and yet more madness
And the two candidates for president are making speeches full of madness & more madness and yet more madness
And I pull out my Dick and I ejaculate madness and more madness and yet more madness all over the readers
And then everyone on the planet begins frantically building sculptures of madness and more madness and yet more madness
And then I rip up my own face with my hands
And I turn my face into the 10,000 different directions of cubism
And then everybody on the planet rips their faces into pieces with their own hands
And turns their own faces into the 10,000 different directions of cubism
And then this poem begins thrashing about in millions of different directions...
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
So I’m Riding a Speeding Penis Down the Highway
A poem by Wolf Larsen
So I’m speeding down the highway driving a giant penis
And a thousand police cars with roaring sirens are chasing after me
And the police helicopter above is throwing giant apples & pineapples & oranges at me
And all the apples & pineapples & oranges are screaming at me as they crash all around my speeding penis
And naked angels in the sky are flying all around the police helicopter
And the naked angels are singing big pharmaceutical commercials in sweet voices
And the speaker of the police helicopter is blasting Pavarotti’s opera voice at me
(Pavarotti is driving the police helicopter)
And the police helicopter lands on top of my head
And that’s when the clouds above start pissing 1970s rock ‘n’ roll all over me
And I drive my speeding penis through the vaginas of the two first ladies Melania Trump & Michelle Obama
But the thousand police cars with roaring sirens are still in hot pursuit of me & my speeding penis
And so I drive my speeding penis through the anuses of Barack Obama & Donald Trump & Joe Biden
And now I’m driving my speeding penis through the head of the mayor of Chicago
And that’s when suddenly the thousand police cars all crash
Into a big symphony crescendo of violins & trumpets & timpani drums
And then I wake up in bed
With Melania Trump & Michelle Obama both naked on either side of me
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity.
The Symphony of Blue, Orange, & Cum Juices on a Canvas
Played by the Chicago Orgasm Orchestra
A prose poem by Wolf Larsen
So Lori Lightfoot & Melania Trump & Michelle Obama are 3 naked skyscrapers on the Chicago skyline licking & licking each other’s naked bodies, and then all the moons of the universe suddenly grow huge vaginas, and all the planets of the universe grow huge tongues, and the Chicago Orgasm Orchestra plays the r-h-y-t-h-m-s of humongous tongues & vaginas throughout the universe creating hOmOeRotic-mUsic-tOgeTheR, and suddenly giant female orgasms throughout the universe flood the sky with musical notes (that are being played by the Chicago Orgasm Orchestra), and now all of the space aliens are standing knee-deep in pussy juices, and that’s when pussycats with wings begin flying through the air giving Demo-pubic-lice-a-crat & Re-pubic-lice-acan political speeches to all of the nipples in pornographic movies everywhere, so everybody pulls out their penises and ejaculates cOntemPoRarY-claSsicaL-muSic all over the flying pussycats in the sky, and then Wolf Larsen & Melania Trump & Michelle Obama all make a patriotic movie together, and 9 months later Melania Trump & Michelle Obama both gave birth to Wolf Larsen’s love childs screaming with poetry...
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Before World War 3 Fills Us Full of Strawberries
A musical-poem by Wolf Larsen sung by a thousand-howling-dogs under a full moon
Accompanied by The String Quartet of Four Giant Penises wearing tuxedos
allegro
Somebody’s penis jumps inside of your butt and says hello
The penis ejaculates Christmas carols inside of you (except it’s July)
Meanwhile the trees all around are growing out of the immense crotch of the planet Earth
And all the space aliens in your balls are painting cubist murals on the walls of your ballsack
Then God cries millions of Charles Manson clones out of his eyes
And all the millions of Charles Manson clones are running for president of the USA, on both the Democrat & Republican tickets
Some of the Charles Mansons are black lesbians, and other Charles Mansons are straight white men, and still other Charles Mansons are Siamese twins of Joe Biden & Donald Trump ****ing each other up the butt
This is where 100 Boeing airplanes fall out of the sky and crash into your head
So you go to the police station to file a complaint about the 100 Boeing jet airplanes stuck to your head
But the police station is full of giant lizards pulling out their guns and shooting phrases of poetry at naked black men painted on the ceiling of the police station by Michelangelo
But since the mayor is black & lesbian it’s all very progressive
Especially with rolls & rolls of toilet paper falling from the sky
And now I’m going to pull out my penis and ejaculate the greatest Symphony ever written
All over the face of God
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
The Music of Monks & Gregorian Chants & Masturbation in Monasteries Throughout the Ages
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The Symphony Orchestra plays a skyrocketing schizophrenia
And then sexy naked carrots & cucumbers & watermelons all with legs begin dancing the skyrocketing schizophrenia through the supermarket aisles
As the supermarket aisles become waterfalls falling up into the delicious-round-nipple-apocalypse in heaven
So then naked Superman clones with giant penises by the dozens all race up to heaven
Where Michelangelo paints all of the Superman clones ****ing each other up the butt on top of McDonald’s-hamburger-flying-saucers in the sky
So Leonardo da Vinci in a black leather jacket races by on a motorcycle with a nearly naked Virgin Mary riding on back with her arms around the sexy Leonardo da Vinci
As the sun drips its vowels & consonants into this poem...
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Saturday Night Drunken Orgies at the Monastery
Sung by the Drunken Monk Symphony Choir
A poem by Wolf Larsen
Rivers of beer flow through the poetry
And everybody jumps out of the poetry and dances to rivers of music
Then the store mannequins sing erotic operas
As the composers build giant musical sculptures with their space alien hands
Then naked clowns with humongous penises paint fauvist pornography everywhere
And symphonies across the universe become drunk with all the fauvist pornography
So everybody gets drunk on cum and screams poetry at history
And history screams back with ancient orgies
And the people in the ancient world scream poetry at the people in the contemporary world
And the people in the contemporary world scream poetry at the ancient world
So the poetry flies back-and-fourth across thousands of years
Before the clowns with humongous penises save the world for
The McDonald’s-Hamburger-Opera sung by dirty bourgeois pigs at the trough
And then there’s the bipartisan porn actors starring in the Pornographic Film Festival in Washington DC
And now the reader is swallowed by the end of the poem
And the reader is delicious
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
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Warning: do NOT read this if you have a problem with obscenity, or if you are very religious.
Wolf Larsen the Poet Holds the Entire Universe in His Hands
A poem by Wolf Larsen
The ballet dancers jump out of the billboard advertisements
And the sexy ballet dancers perform sexy poetry by the side of the highways
While the giant four-wheeled penises drive by at 60 miles an hour
And the clouds rolling by above fOrm-&-reForM into biZarRe-suRreaLisTic-iMages kissing each other
And the artists paint Wolf Larsen & all the other gods of the sky looking down upon the human race
And everyone on the planet takes off their clothes and begins reciting Wolf Larsen’s poetry together in one grand orgy of words
And symphony orchestras across the planet play the grand orgy of words together
And ballet dancers on the side of highways all dance the grand orgy of words together
And the grand orgy of words become musical notes floating out of a flute being played by a hermaphrodite goat sitting on God’s throne
While God on his knees gives the hermaphrodite goat a blow job
And the hermaphrodite goat ejaculates the rest of the words of this poem into God’s mouth
And glory hallelujah God swallows
Copyright 2020 by Wolf Larsen
