funny thing happened yesterday on my way home from work, this funny looking blue bird decides to peck on the power cable for lunch, needless to say after a few seconds.....BIZZZZZZZ!!! FRIED CHICKEN.
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funny thing happened yesterday on my way home from work, this funny looking blue bird decides to peck on the power cable for lunch, needless to say after a few seconds.....BIZZZZZZZ!!! FRIED CHICKEN.
Dateline: Washington, DC In the ongoing struggle for homeland security, The FBI arrested a man today trying to board a plane. Although he did not look the slightest bit suspicious, no one could understand a single word he said. It was determined, by his indicating himself and saying "Ozeed", that that was his name, but the rest was what the FBI described as "gibberish." It was later determined that the man spoke only Latin, a language long thought dead. Then came the horrible surprise. A doctor called to give the man a check-up so he could be released, announced that "Ozeed" actually was dead and had been for centuries as far as he could tell! The man is still under observation while science tries to figure out how a dead man lives. http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/mummy.gif
Pendragon was called in to identify the miraculous body of the undead Ozeed. after pretendin never to have met the guy, he was "escorted" outside by a team of thugs with MDs. Thereupon, he drank from a vial and turned into a strange mixture of Mr. Hyde, the invisible man, and a vampire woman. :D unfortunately, before he could escape over the rooftops, one of the thugs began to speak in pig latin!!! Pendragon was so horrified he fell straight over, stunned, halfway up the wall and squished on the pavement. but then again, being true to the movie, who knows if the part-Quartermain extraordinaire will rise again . . . O.o
Ah, distinctly we remember, t’was in the month known as November.
And cigars glowed with fiery embers as we gathered at the club.
All of us Gentlemen Extraordinary, spoke of mystery and things scary,
When there came a sound quite dreary from the door to the street outside:
Some ghastly dreary moaning echoed in the evening air from the street outside—
“I think you are all a bunch of rotten stinkers, I hope you die there in your club!”
This Mir cried out before the bus smashed her,
Only this, and Nothing more!
Pendragon
He Talk Of Poems
He could do nothing when his dear wife died. His poems full of hope of her returning back did not work at all. The grief over-came him and caught his life. :bawling:
Mwahahahha... *dramatic music plays*
I am back... now who shall taste my wrath??!?
Oh.. Pensive dear.. such a shame....
Pensieve as far as I can recall, was shot when she was trying to escape after being accused by a white child of molesting him...
< Can anyone tell me who, it is I'm referring to and from what book?>
Shinigami, Goddess of Death and Destruction, met her demise at a meeting of the Gods when Atlas, still bearing the Earth on his vast shoulders, thought the seat was empty and sat on her. The Gods being The Gods, she will probably return, so if I were Atlas, I would watch my back... side! :lol:
Yes, and that was really rude of Atlas... too bad he's been detained at the Correctional Facilty for Gods and Other Immortal Beings.... which is Pluto by the way, Pendragon met his untimely demise when the Gods, wanting to test his might appointed him Atlas' recently vacated job.. Sadly, someone obese jumped and the vibrations caused Pen's bones to break... Poor Pen... we'll miss you.
It was 5am the day after Thanksgiving. Among the feet of the crowd Shinigami could be found. She was determined to get a bargain no matter what the cost. The doors opened the rush of wind, people pushed and shoved just to get in. In the midst of the confusion little Shinigami was lost in the crowd. Without realizing what he'd done Pendragon, he had crushed poor Shinigami her under his big club.
Hm... you really didn't kill me because I am immortal.. the GODdess of Death and Destruction so Pen's club split in two. I got up and threw the halves and both hit Vada.. one on his head which made it swell a lot and one below the belt which killed him...
LOL! Wow, the anger of it all. Oh, Well.
Now dead Vada sees the Pheonix and it tells him that he's to go back and finish what he's started. So Vada wakes and swings his tail sending Shinigami hurtling up into the air. Thinking that shinigami was his target he spits fire and turns her into to ashes. Then without a hint of hesitation he jumps into flight and freezes her in mid air. So now Shinigami is not only ashes but gathered ashes that hung in the air.
I am once again reborn, I kill the damn bird and eat it. Contrary to popular belief, Phoenixes are not immortal.. Kill them when their still an egg.... I take my scythe and behead Vada... quick and simple... yet.. No one mourns...
LOL!
Although, beheaded I am not dead because the silly goddess of death, forgot that I can regrow my head. Now that I have two heads, I grab the queen of death with each jaw and rip her apart in two. To ensure that she's not reborn, I'll fly to Hades and bury her under the Dozmare lake. For good measure I place Cerberus the mutli headed dog to keep watch over her.
Regrow to grow again.... not to have a new one alongside it... My pet is Cereberus, and y did you kill the Queen of Death? What did she do to you?? Oh well...
The Judgment of Shinigam
Goddess she was of Death and Destruction twain,
And many she lay low before the breath of her wrath.
But even an immortal answers to someone further up the chain--
And ceaseless eons even bring an end to Death...
The Four Great Elementals sat in judgment on their thrones,
Earth, Air, Water, and Fire; each in a Dragon guise.
Shinigam stood proud before them, for she would bow to none;
But she trembled at the sight of those all-seeing Eyes.
A puff of smoke before them glowed, there Pendragon stood,
No longer dead, but now restored to life once more.
Shini shouted to the Elementals "I shall slay him again, it will feel good!
"For I have tasted of the Dragon's blood and I defy you four!"
But if one is looking for that Goddess today that once was called Shinigam:
There is a place so cold it burns, a place called Nifelheim. . .
Pendragon
I come back from the place that has robbed me my appendages color, and I come back for revenge... I have come back because of Paradise' Kiss and I bring back my scythe but from where I am.. I can not get to where Pendragon is... so I settle for waiting... waiting...
asjhsd skhdjhs asdhasdj
Shinigami is dying to get the meaning of this sentence. Well, curiosity makes her to go to the Dark Forest to find out the meaning of this mysterious sentence, and there she is eaten by Big Ogre. Poor shinigami! It is not always wise to trust curiosity!
I get regurgitated by the Ogre, I get mad coz' the ogre made me smell like vomit... I teleport to Neverland and find Pensieve who's still flying... I warp him to Harper Lee's "To Kill A Mockingbird" where he plays Tom Robinson's role... If you've read the book, you know Pen's dead...
But Shinigami had done an hellish thing,
And it would work her woe:
For all averred she had killed the bird
That caused the wind to blow . . .
"Ah wretch!" said they, "the bird to slay,
That made the breeze to blow!"
With apologies to
The Rhyme of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge
. . .
well, i haven't read that anyways, so we're good. :D
In a galaxy far, far, far, far, far, etc. away, a despotic kingdom has lost its ruler. the Great and Almighty Pen'Drgon has fallen into a black hole and nobody knows where he has gone. however, from the other side of the universe, the kingless world has received a signal from a planet beleived to be so backward as to be useless to pay attention to. Message reads: Have taken control of worldwide empire known as Lit'Net. Am slowly going insane. please help.
Three weeks later a new message was received. it read: Brain exploded from too much forum'ing. attempting to reincarnate.
Blargh.
Accident in the Jello factory!
This just in...it appears that Litnet member and chessmaster mir has been declared dead. While on a tour of a popular gelatin dessert factory the young lady fell into a vat and suffocated. We believe the flavor was "Cherry Berry".
CAN THE DEAD SPEAK?
Dateline: Salem. A strange little man with grey hair who calls himself Mortimer Graves, a paranormal investigator (whatever that is, this reporter confesses his ignorance), has indicated that he has come here due to sighting of The Lady in White, sometimes called "Resurrection Kathy". Graves claims that if he can find this wandering “dead undying” (his words, not mine), he will be able to ask her questions that may reveal once and for all why she died and why she keeps returning to this area. Personally, I think Graves has been sniffing formaldehyde, but I have seen glimpses of the so-called "ghost". http://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/ghost.gif
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!Quote:
Originally Posted by OZEED
That was so darn funny, Oz. "BIZZZZZ!!! FRIED CHICKEN." Couldn't have though of a better death for the bird (not offending or insulting, Pensy dearest!!!!!! Just for plain fun!)
Get Uncle Pen out of the computer. Confiscate his writing materials. Burn his hands to ashes. And get that pipe out of his mouth.
Sure death.
Laindessiel, a new addition to LitNet, met with an unfortunate calamity a short time ago. she was grazing through the forum (munch munch) with her sister close behind, when she discovered that the two of them had POSTED ON THE SAME THREAD!!! she immediatly tried to remedy the situation by editing Toni out, but he soon REPOSTED!! there is little news yet on the sibling rivalry, but since Laindessiel got lost on her way to challenge Toni, there may be no news for some time. :p
It seems that everything that goes up must come down . . . mir, that outlandish satellite of NaNoWriMo fame has suddenly come back to earth, aye, even into the earth - she was found in her room, face down on her writing pad, pen in hand, head too tired to continue on . . . .
10 days of constant novel writing without sleep is not good for the brain, or health in general, it seems. :D
Poor ShoutGrace. He should have never gone into the forest ahead of Little Red Ridinghood. Alas, the woodsman was unable to free dear Shout from a wolf's tummy. Alledgedly the wolf begged for such an extreme rememdy as it was suffering from severe indigestion....;) :p
Kathy was dying to receive a clever response. We will miss her!
Kelly Sprout was eaten by the Flanders' Tom and Rob...
:)
Little shinigami went to swimming at the beach one fateful day and got swallowed by a huge whale, thinking she was a plankton like everyone else.
I Like Winter.Toni loves Winter. Day by day, earth is getting more and more hot. Cold climiate is found scarcely where she lives.
She decides to migrate from the hot place, but her home-land is guided by people who don't let young people run away from the country so they kill Toni while she/her (?) is attempting to leave the country.
Poor Toni will be missed!
The scientist have just discovered that Cute Pensy has Birdflu!
Like a poem in a hurricane
Or a star 'mid broken glass
Halucigenic journey
Through a jungle of dried grass
In a moment of uncertainty
On ocean waves of strife
Yet with calm and sweet serentiy
Poor Toni lost her life.
Kelly_Sprout mistakenly wandered into a Vegetarian Association banquet and was served as the first course.
Kathy got heavily drunk and jumped into a river.
ALARM CAUSES HARM!
Dateline. Pakistan:
A car alarm went off on a busy parking lot outside a shopping mall, or at least that is what the man who fired two shots at his own car assumed. As he was being restrained by police, the man, who name was withheld as charges are pending, screamed: "They won't break into my new car and live!" As it turns out, there was no break in, nor did the car alarm go off. A mocking bird was found drilled by the man's bullet. The bird had given the exact tone of a car alarm, and so met it's fate from the enraged owner... :(
Pendragon, Pendragon come back I do beg
Alas for the dragon he fell like an egg
He is no more, he sleeps with poor Humpty
That great big egg whose last name was Dumpty
Why oh why did you sit on that wall?
If you push on an egg, it surely will fall.
poor Kathy. poor, poor Kathy. pooooooooooooooor Kathy. POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOR kathy.
her name - along with herself - was worn out from being used too much! :p
Mir was struck by a passing comet and veered off-orbit into a spiral that will eventually take her into a black hole. "In space no one can hear you scream..."
Beloved Forum member Pendragon died early this morning when the doctors could not stop his bleeding despite all their efforts. A paramedic said, 'The cuts were so deep that there was nothing anyone could do. I don't know what he was thinking when he tried to juggle all those knives.'
Guess one thing his Mama forgot to teach him was that not to play with knives.
He will always be remembered fondly by those who have been lucky enough to know him.
It is our sad duty to inform you that the famous and beloved Wigged Woman perished when combating an archvillain who could command wind.
Using her usual tactic, Wigged Woman would read "Mrs Dalloway" to her enemies until they would beg for mercy or just melt from agony, her own ears protected by her thick wig. However, this villain, using the her wind powers, blew away the heroine's wig which caused the instant death of the Wigged Woman due to hearing a passage of "Mrs. Dalloway" spoken by herself.
It was found out that the Wigged Woman was none else but the beloved sub-tyrant of the Lit-forums, Scheherezade. She will be sorely missed.