Get it off your chest!

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Originally Posted by Video Drone

What game is it, WoW, Lineage? Sheesh. I never got into those MMORPG's for some reason, a couple million people did, tho. But with a guy who's a gamer, you better be a gamer yourself, you'll have much to discuss... But if it's an addiction, addictions are hard to deal with, very hard... If he spends more than weeks on it playing all day long it's an addiction. You really need harsh measures here. Cutting the cord, seriously.

Games are actually becoming dangerous. Well...

YOU WERE WARNED

To Mortis Anarchy
Wow, that's really horrible. Did you try talking to him about this?

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No, recently I've found it really hard to talk to him. My dad is a pilot so thats why he really isn't home...but this sounds bad but, I just feel that I'd rather have him never home or home all the time. Maybe then he would pay attention to me. Its my last year at home and you would think that he would take advantage of that. I've tried tagging along, but I just end up being ignored. I tried to see if my mom would talk to him, but she is just happy that he is home. Most of the time I just leave home and read and bookstores/coffeeshops or paint or work. Then I don't have to think about it and get depressed...I'm having a really hard time about it...and I don't like showing negative emotions so its been hard.

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Originally Posted by Mortis Anarchy

No, recently I've found it really hard to talk to him. My dad is a pilot so thats why he really isn't home...but this sounds bad but, I just feel that I'd rather have him never home or home all the time. Maybe then he would pay attention to me. Its my last year at home and you would think that he would take advantage of that. I've tried tagging along, but I just end up being ignored. I tried to see if my mom would talk to him, but she is just happy that he is home. Most of the time I just leave home and read and bookstores/coffeeshops or paint or work. Then I don't have to think about it and get depressed...I'm having a really hard time about it...and I don't like showing negative emotions so its been hard.

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Not to pry, but were you and your dad close until recently? The reason I ask is that my own dad behaved the same way when it became clear I was leaving home. I moved from Ohio to Washington and it killed him to let me go so far away where he couldn't watch and take care of me. It was his way of preparing to let me go and make it a little easier on himself when I left. Now that I'm due to move back soon he is turning back into the same man he was before I left. He is back to saying "I love you" on the phone and teasing. Let him see that his behavior is causing you pain, but also know that it isn't anything you have done. He is probably just preparing himself for you to leave home.

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Originally Posted by mkhockenberry

I get it entirely now. I'd be hopping mad too. My sister is obsessed with online games the same way, and I just don't get the attraction. I would try to talk with him reasonably about it, since ending a three year relationship (if I understood you correctly) shouldn't normally be done lightly. If he can't get it under control and take notice that you need some of his time also then make a decision on what you want to do. I really hope that things get better for you. You could always cut his computer cord;)

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I got really angry a month back and spoke to him about it but a month later things are back the way they are! When we started going out three years ago it took me along time to get him to do things without his friends. now it's like we are back at the beginning but the friends have been replaced by an online game ,that i wont name incase some of you play it and he's attacked you, that he plays with his friends. And i've had enough. I need a change and i think that includes him.

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Originally Posted by Niamh

I got really angry a month back and spoke to him about it but a month later things are back the way they are! When we started going out three years ago it took me along time to get him to do things without his friends. now it's like we are back at the beginning but the friends have been replaced by an online game ,that i wont name incase some of you play it and he's attacked you, that he plays with his friends. And i've had enough. I need a change and i think that includes him.

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Then go for it. I've ended my fair share of relationships for the same reason, and if he isn't willing to give you the time and attention that you deserve then find someone who will. It sounds like you are certain in what you want, so now all there is left to do is act on it which I know is easier said than accomplished. I hope everything works out for you.

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Originally Posted by mkhockenberry

Then go for it. I've ended my fair share of relationships for the same reason, and if he isn't willing to give you the time and attention that you deserve then find someone who will. It sounds like you are certain in what you want, so now all there is left to do is act on it which I know is easier said than accomplished. I hope everything works out for you.

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Thanks Meg. Just wish i had an ounce of courage or i would have done it today. My major flaw is i shrink in the face of confrontation!

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Originally Posted by mkhockenberry

Not to pry, but were you and your dad close until recently? The reason I ask is that my own dad behaved the same way when it became clear I was leaving home. I moved from Ohio to Washington and it killed him to let me go so far away where he couldn't watch and take care of me. It was his way of preparing to let me go and make it a little easier on himself when I left. Now that I'm due to move back soon he is turning back into the same man he was before I left. He is back to saying "I love you" on the phone and teasing. Let him see that his behavior is causing you pain, but also know that it isn't anything you have done. He is probably just preparing himself for you to leave home.

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We were very close. I've always been a daddy's girl...we used to go mountain biking together all the time...and he always used to ask me to come along and do stuff with them. But the thing is, why would he want to do that in the first place? I mean, he is never home anyways, so why would he want to push me out even further! I almost freaked out on him yesterday...me and my dad are a lot of like...we don't really say 'I love you' easily, or 'sorry'...

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Originally Posted by Niamh

I got really angry a month back and spoke to him about it but a month later things are back the way they are! When we started going out three years ago it took me along time to get him to do things without his friends. now it's like we are back at the beginning but the friends have been replaced by an online game ,that i wont name incase some of you play it and he's attacked you, that he plays with his friends. And i've had enough. I need a change and i think that includes him.

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Take a little break. Its not fair for you to have to ASK for him to hangout with you...he should want to do that without you asking. Sometimes change is for the better. I wish you luck though, with whatever you do...

And maybe he is just going through something...I dunno...good luck though!:)

i hate my little sister, she does nothing but lead me on and force me to have to go to my parents to figure out what she's doing, today, she grabbed somehting from my room but wouldn't tell me why she took it, i asked her politely many times over, then i finally went to my parents and they said they had asked her to get it from me. i have to live with a demon in the house and i can't get away from her, my parents also take away all of my power as the adult when i'm babysitting, no one listens to me, they blow me off until i stick my face two inches away from theirs and yell until i'm hoarse. then i get in trouble for it, i'm on the verge of saying something once and when they don't do anything about it, dropping it then having my parents be the bad guys and yell at the three of them for not doing something. blame it all on my stepmom, her favorite method of communication is to scream at the top of her lungs for us to do something even when it's the first time she's asked us to do it, i'm getting fed up with this family, this is why i hate people, i have such awesome examples in front of me.

I hope things get better Niamh, you deserve only the best.

Sounds really unfair silent x, don´t try to get too down on all of humanity because of them. When I encounter hopelessly wretched people I tell myself to strive to be better to prove them that i am.

No complaints here, im on holiday! :p :)

Hopefully things will get better Silent X. I was lucky to be the youngest, and my sister and I were close enough in age that she never had to babysit me.

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Originally Posted by the silent x

i hate my little sister, she does nothing but lead me on and force me to have to go to my parents to figure out what she's doing, today, she grabbed somehting from my room but wouldn't tell me why she took it, i asked her politely many times over, then i finally went to my parents and they said they had asked her to get it from me. i have to live with a demon in the house and i can't get away from her, my parents also take away all of my power as the adult when i'm babysitting, no one listens to me, they blow me off until i stick my face two inches away from theirs and yell until i'm hoarse. then i get in trouble for it, i'm on the verge of saying something once and when they don't do anything about it, dropping it then having my parents be the bad guys and yell at the three of them for not doing something. blame it all on my stepmom, her favorite method of communication is to scream at the top of her lungs for us to do something even when it's the first time she's asked us to do it, i'm getting fed up with this family, this is why i hate people, i have such awesome examples in front of me.

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Oh I can understand how it feels but you should perhaps look at the positive side - the things your parents have provided you? This might help. And you said your sister is little, if she is little then forgive her, nearly all children do such things. That's a part of childhood.

And I hope things better for both Niamh and you and everyone who is in trouble!

I resent - to myself, to God, to world, to system, whatever - the fact I have one more academic year to spend at school before I can go to university. Not that I particularly dislike my school, I just dislike the fact it is school, it is filled with immature undereducated brats to whom the main purpose in life is to get drunk (I would not like to generalise, but the majority are such), the "academic spirit" in it does not exist except during a couple of minutes of Gaudeamus igitur during ceremonies, and I dislike having to study a plethora of subjects I am never going to need in my life.

Not that I see the world from the utilitarian point of view, nor that I particularly care about "usefulness" as pretty much everything "useful" one learns out of one's formal education, but I still view it to be pretty pointless that our school system forces students to study so many subjects and does not allow us to choose amongst them.
So I intend to study literature, history of art and Italian at university, and still, I will have to bother myself the entire year also with Chemistry, Mathematics, Politics, Latin, Greek and whatnot else they invented, which only takes away my precious time which I could dedicate to literature and art.

I also dislike constant arguments I am having with my family regarding my choice of university. They believe my choice is "childish and idiotic" and that it will only bring me to ruin and disappointments, and that I should study something "useful", with which I could "contribute to society instead of wasting your talent on doing-nothing in reading books and observing architecture", such as medicine, or, if I so dislike sciences, law; and I cannot even imagine myself on those universities, and do not get me started on how much I would hate to study something other than what is my choice. From their perspective I am just "too lazy to go to concrete university". I am sick of constant trying to prove them that the only thing I wish to do in life revolves around languages, literature and art.

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Originally Posted by Anastasija

I also dislike constant arguments I am having with my family regarding my choice of university. They believe my choice is "childish and idiotic" and that it will only bring me to ruin and disappointments, and that I should study something "useful", with which I could "contribute to society instead of wasting your talent on doing-nothing in reading books and observing architecture", such as medicine, or, if I so dislike sciences, law; and I cannot even imagine myself on those universities, and do not get me started on how much I would hate to study something other than what is my choice. From their perspective I am just "too lazy to go to concrete university". I am sick of constant trying to prove them that the only thing I wish to do in life revolves around languages, literature and art.

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That's a truth that it's difficult for those who study languages and literature to get a a good job, but it all depends on your priorities. If you would rather earn less money with your hobby as a job, it's understandable or even if's the other way, it's also understandable. I would advice you to choose whatever you want but before it think about the advice of your parents also. And coolly not emotionally. Not because they are saying it but because you have to choose whatever is good for you. :)

here's an idea, i always do this when deciding whether to spend a lot of money on something, get an impartial party, (e.g. friend, brother, sister, family member who doesn't adore your parents), then sit down with your parents and the impartial party, then write down all the good and bad things about your taking your parents approach, and all of the good and bad thinggs about your approach. The impartial party is supposed to be there for helping both parties and deciding the verdict.

when all this has been done, have the impartial party put the stuff together with a point value, such as: you want to learn about architecture, so you would pay more attention and produce better results than something you didn't want to do, that would get a 2. becoming rich might get a 1 or something like that.

anyway, this won't work if you have extremely authoritarian parents, "you will do this my way when i say so."

have you ever considered being an architectural engineer? that way you could study the actual building and help complement society at the same time, try combining the topics to make a job that makes both of you happy.

i am thinking about going into Literature as a teacher, i like to read, i like to analyze and i want to impart that on a bunch of crazy drunk kids who have nothing better to do than sit in class and listen/sleep.

about the school thing, i have no school spirit so i can't help you there, and for the drunks, ignore them, or if you see one of them getting drunk, smash the bottle over their head and say, "every time you drink, the bottle will get smashed over your head and you will get covered in beer" (don't really do that i was making an attempt at humor.)

To silent x, to Niamh, and to Anastasija, I sincerely hope that things go better for you. You are all such nice caring people and deserve only happiness in life.

For me, I am here to say that I am thoroughly sad that a couple of really talented and wonderful people have just up and quit us. Just like that. For reasons I cannot understand. I hope that they find happiness in life, too bad that they could not have mingled here even a bit longer. I have found a wonderful group of people here, this is a site that is a lot different than so many on the internet. Bravo LitNet, and may our two friends go in peace. They are always welcome here, just for the records. :)