Of course you were missed. We were all concerned. :biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
You're just in time to see the germination of the Blokes Xmas anthology which has been startedalready by the looks of things.
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Of course you were missed. We were all concerned. :biggrin5:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
You're just in time to see the germination of the Blokes Xmas anthology which has been startedalready by the looks of things.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LostPrincess13
Welcome back...Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mYFwkpNQbxU
Were you given a proper welcome?Quote:
Originally Posted by Abookinthebath
Parker will fix you up with something to ease your pain.
I'm speechless. That's brilliant. That overrated bard from Tuscany couldn't hold a candle up to you.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Here's what we have so far leading up to Jocky's gem above:
Yes there are two sheds you can go buy
But in the long run
It still pays to get a third one on …PC
------
Thieving dogs
Prince Charles' Jack Russels
Satanic Sheds - Led Zeppellin's original name
A case of Highland envy - shedwise
An annoying neighbour
Mystical levitating albums
A proposal for this year's Blokes Thread Play
Sounds drinking habits/ potato cheese dishes/ the trouble with chianti/ a welcome/ a request for an illicit substance's recipe/ the Miami demographic/ careers advice
Testicle Tape - Ill never forget
A telling off/ un-PC ness/ a realisation
Specualtion about a relocation/ praise for the qualities of wives
A tip for using Testicle tape...PC
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If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.
And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,… P
----
There was a farmer who drank horlicks
who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
Till his missus said to he
you are not seeing to me
but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom… J
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Is that old Brummie weather-lore?
When gulls do croi above the green,
A frost will next be seen.
When they return unto the cowst,
Cast your clout or yow will rowst….P
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The dangers of following the Rangers
Cannot be known by strangers.
Your hair you'll pull out
At the Umpire's shout
You'll boo and you'll hiss
At a swing and a miss
you'll shout and cheer
And drink too much beer
And your hopes, they be fecund
Then you finish second.
Tis the basest of ball
That has you in thrall.
A game that so confounds us,
I think I'll stick to Rounders. ……….P
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Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
And you are...?
Only kidding, we've missed your wit, your insight, and your fragrant presence.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Hmm.. please feel free to to cut, edit or generally improve anything of mine in there.
Welcome aboard Abookinthebath, we can't keep calling you that , I will end up with repetitive strain syndrome on my typing finger. A word of friendly advice, when you enter the Cold Ale Lounge keep your paws off the Doritos and the bottle of Glenmorangie on the shelf next to the dartboard, they are mine.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Gilliatt once you have touched up Mick's parts we are on our way to Broadway, or should that be Broadmoor ? :
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D1ZYhVpdXbQ
Cheers Jocky. Bath will do, should avoid the RSI! Yes, I will give the whisky a wide berth (well, until all the beer is gone, in any case!).Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Need to spice things up a bit. Bath may not cut it. Possibly The Bath Lord? Or the common add a 'y' rule when making a nickname. Bathy.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abookinthebath
'Tub'? Or, better yet, 'Tubbs'?
Or initally, A bit B
Still don't drink, but I'll raise a glass of cranberry juice to everyone anyways. =)
Tubbs it is.Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
Quote:
Originally Posted by RobinHood3000
Splutter!! What next? Smoothies in the snug!
Parker has gone for a lie down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Dante
I kinda like it! Although it does give me images of 'The league of gentlemen' TV series.....
Wasn't there a Tubbs on Miami Vice? He was cool wasn't he?
I think so, but it was a bit before my time! I don't think the parents would let me stay up and watch it!
"Tubbs"; a splendid nickname.Quote:
Originally Posted by Abookinthebath
Here's another by your namesake:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lT0xZ...eature=related
In case "Charmin" didn't make it's way across the Atlantic water closet...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aFIYO...eature=related
.
Your on a roll Gilliatt.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Just a notice that I shall be selling poppies in the lounge - all proceeds to those downtrodden victims of tyranny - the England Football Team.
I think some of that money also needs to go to the Australian cricket team.... :blush2:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I'm sure the England Rugby League team will display all their traditional charitable impulses towards the Aussies next week in the world cup final.
Meanwhile its tupping time again here at Cold Comfort farm. The boys have started strongly, but Old Faithfull twisted his back leg (probably while attempting some exotic sheepish position.) The new tup is a bit of a bad boy and tends to attack me when my back is turned. He's become a firm favourite with mrs P - I wonder why.
I cherish the Tupping Time updates from Cold Comfort Farm.
Please keep us posted.
.
That's right gentleman, exams are over which means only one thing. Two and a half months of holidays. I'd like to think that some serious domination took place in that exam room, hopefully all A's.
Domination! I think Parker is into that sort of thing too.
He doesn't refer to Lady Penelope as 'Madam' and 'Mistress' for nothing.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I was thinking of buying a new watch, because a bloke just can't have enough reminders of what the time is. I would appreciate your valued considered second opinions on this technological wonder:
http://www.amazon.com/Zenith-96-0529...514854&sr=8-12
errm does it actually tell the time?
That watch looks like it does more than tell time. It probably has a setting to change time to your wish.
Yes, I'd buy that watch MM we blokes like our toys.
Now, when it is delivered you will need to sign for it. you could do worse than to use one of these.-
http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/MONTBLANC-...item1e687c6662
It was good enough for Rameses the Second AND Mozart.
I've got a £20 watch from Argos. Now we have phones , they seem to do everything else including telling the time, but I wouldn't give up my wristwatch. I forever be raising it unecessarily and gazing bemusedly at my freckled wrist.
Hmm watches are very useful for glancing at and sighing when Mrs P is shopping/getting changed/getting her coat on/getting tea ready/brushing her hair/being in the bathroom/on the phone and driving to an appointment.
Heh, for me, watching the watch ranks right up there with 'breathing' and all that other stuff.
That's looks like an exclusive biro Pren!
As you may know I have a thing about pens and watches and their prices, and my honest rule is never to lay out more than ten for the former or a hundred for the latter. Trouble is I've also got a thing about technology (and steam punk) and it means I miss out on a lot of automatics (Seiko have re-issued their old Rolex-copy auto lines which are about the closest thing to actual Rolex autos dependability-wise as you can get), and I owe myself a full black Citizen eco drive, but it's over my limit by a mere five. Maybe I'll make the stretch for Christmas...
My wrist usually sports a five buck Casio imitation, just because it's ultra light and easy to read the full day and date at a glance (elements of which I seem to keep forgetting).
I like a heavy stainless steel analog chronograph for exercising (practical), and a good auto skeleton watch is a marvel for loose moments and just turning the brain off for precisely three minutes, though they require regular professional cleaning - the price tag should include a further hidden couple of grand to cover future dusting unless you learn to do it yourself.
But probably the most potentially useful watch I've stumbled across features a television remote (no I haven't bought one - [yet], but what a time saving idea! You'd save the time you'd normally waste searching for the proper remote)
I might go overboard with a diver sometime in the distance - not an Omega, I'd be happy with an El Cheapo provided it looks good - I wonder what Parker would have to say about that?
I got a watch for Christmas when I was about twelve. I wore it for six or seven weeks.
I just can't see the point. Very rarely does anyone look at their watch to find out the time - it's a sort of nervous tic, really (or possibly a nervous toc) - and even when they do want to know what the time is, in almost all cases knowing the time will make no difference. People on delayed trains look at their watch constantly. I, having no watch, will get to London Bridge at exactly as late as them, at whatever time it is. When I get there, like them, I'll look at the clock on the platform. I, however, won't look at my watch before looking at the clock on the platform, and then again straight afterwards. If I'm meeting someone outside the station, I'll say, "Sorry I'm late - train was delayed." I won't ostentatiously look at my watch as I hurry towards them, explain about the train, show them my watch, sigh, look at my watch again and ask whether they think we have time for a drink before the show, expecting them to look at their watch in order to decide.
However, I can see a use for watches - which you might enjoy considering here.
As to pens, I toss them across desks, I leave them places, I chew them - I get through about four biros a day. It'd be pointless me having a nice pen and I can't really see what the advantage is. If it improves your handwriting, that seems to me an admission that one favours style over content. My feeling towards pens, really, is that - like cats, umbrellas and cigarettes - they don't really belong to anyone, and you should just use whichever one you find lying around.
Good story Mark.
I like those free pens charities send you with their mail drops.
I only ever had one watch that survived the rigours of my trade, that was a £5.99 ten year gauranteed battery sealed up plastic digital thing. However the strap wore out after a year or two and a replacement was more than the watch was worth. Anyway I bought a metre of 12mm black knicker elastic for £1.99 and used that to make straps for the next for the next 12 years. Best watch I ever had. I like the price of prestige, rather than the prestige of price.
Right with ya there. I'm an incorrigable shoe fixer-upper - if they've been comfortable and look like they can be fixed, if only for another day, I'll have a go with nails, staples, twine and pvc.
And sometimes paint and varnish make 'em look good as new.
Using a watch in my opinion is cheating. The real talented people can work out the time by reading the sun's position in the sky. It proves even more rewarding when you get it right as well.
My first watch was the first adult gadget I owned on the road to independance. I was ten and got it for my birthday. It was one of those timex watches that kids had, and a wind up one. I thought it was great, and got real pleasure being able to tell the time at any time without reference to anyone else.
Of course you're quite right Mark about the ostentatious wrist gazing, and it making no difference to arrivals. For me it has become a gesture of irritation, and is also the source of the game "Surreptitious" where you are listening to a powerful bore and try to glance at it without them noticing.
That one was one of the funniest I ever heard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Dante
I have a leather jacket of which I have become fond. I think I adore it, and to me it gets better with age. It's really a rag, according to everyone else, but I take it anywhere. People say that in winter, I wouldn't take it off to go to the bathroom. It's about 20 years old, and I have two brand new ones that I received as birthday presents. They are useless.
I used to have an old jacket that was given to me by a mate. I really liked it too, but it looked like it had belonged to a former, and unsuccessful, lion tamer.Quote:
Originally Posted by cafolini
My business partner loaned me a brown leather jacket during a trip to Poland a few years ago because I had packed carelessly. It's still with me. He doesn't mind. Before that, he had loaned it to his brother, who eventually returned it but only after purchasing one that looks and feels exactly the same (I've tried that on, too).Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
The inside lining is torn in places and there is a cigarette burn on the collar, obtained while queuing for Iron Maiden tickets.
I don't think I'm returning it any time soon.
There is something about wearing a leather jacket that makes a chap feel a bit James Deanish. I had one that Mrs P thought ever so attractive - until we were married - then it was deemed too scruffy and replaced by knitwear.