Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

:lol:

Superb.

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Originally Posted by jocky

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsM-XDxH4Y

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I've always liked that. He wrote it in the Seventies, when he was in Kilburn and the High Roads, and it was recorded by - believe it or not - Max Wall.

While we're doing touchingly funny songs by Mr Dury...probably got help from their mum..

I always liked Clever Trevor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiulgP9kR7c

I know its not one of his biting social commentries, but "Hit Me With Your Rythm stick" has such powerful associations for me of my first serious girlfriend, that- 35 years later- whenever I hear the opening bars, I swear I can smell her fragrance as clearly as if she had just walked into the room.


Panache and tobbacco smoke.

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Originally Posted by jocky

In that case I hope you will include this. There is no references to that rubbish poem ' The Lake Isle of Innisfree ' and no mention at all of childish references to fat gingers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPsM-XDxH4Y

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

I've always liked that. He wrote it in the Seventies, when he was in Kilburn and the High Roads, and it was recorded by - believe it or not - Max Wall.

While we're doing touchingly funny songs by Mr Dury...probably got help from their mum..

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

I always liked Clever Trevor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiulgP9kR7c

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Haha.
Thanks for the Dury introduction.
Some new material I can use to annoy Mrs. G and G Jr.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,

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Very nice. That one is going into the burlap bag.


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Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I know its not one of his biting social commentries, but "Hit Me With Your Rythm stick" has such powerful associations for me of my first serious girlfriend, that- 35 years later- whenever I hear the opening bars, I swear I can smell her fragrance as clearly as if she had just walked into the room.


Panache and tobbacco smoke.

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I get taken straight back to a manky nightclub in Wakefield were the DJ played this most weeks when I hear it. I've just bought Mrs P a 70s compilation with it on.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b2F-XX0Ol0

It's funny how abstractions can take you to particulars.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Haha.
Thanks for the Dury introduction.
Some new material I can use to annoy Mrs. G and G Jr.

Very nice. That one is going into the burlap bag.
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You must have a good collection in that old bag.

I'm finally getting on top of the new half of the allotment. I've got under a third to clear, but now I'm planning for next year.

It is marvelous to us how a little reminder of the late, great Ian Dury down the intertubes can set off a fuse within the Anglo Saxon community. Well at least we can all agree on this one:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aizzH_JMU3c

There was a farmer who drank horlicks
who kept measuring his prized rams b......s
Till his missus said to he
you are not seeing to me
but Old Seth the farm hand makes me rollicks. Boom Boom.

Just found this video after looking at Jocky's vid.

Never heard this one before - I nearly fell off my cheap argos computer chair...

Warning - lots of swearing.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xblXy...eature=related

Are you getting annoyed? The odds look pretty familiar three to one but that is the way we like it. This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English. Catch you later Atheist, Gilliat and Soundo, enjoyed your company.

Annoyed - me? Never mate.

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Originally Posted by jocky

Are you getting annoyed? The odds look pretty familiar three to one but that is the way we like it. This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English. Catch you later Atheist, Gilliat and Soundo, enjoyed your company.

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Jocky there's nothing English about Bootsy Collins and a cheap bottle of French table wine:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmNeg...eature=related

or Blue Grass:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cs2j8...feature=relmfu

Oh..and your horlicks has been bagged for safe keeping.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by jocky

It is marvelous to us how a little reminder of the late, great Ian Dury down the intertubes can set off a fuse within the Anglo Saxon community.

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There ain't 'alf been some clever bastards, and Dury was definitely one of them.

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Originally Posted by jocky

This whole thread is beginning to smell a bit English.

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Eh? We can't have that. I'll get Parker to cook up a curry and give it a more cosmopolitan smell for a few days.

Mmm curry, Britains favourite dish.


By the way what are rollicks?

Lot of thread-closing going on around here.

I've told Parker to be extra-careful on the doors, but I worry he might be keeping everyone out!

:D

Remember, only ten days until the Rugby World Cup starts.

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

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Sounds like rugby time again.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

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Congatulations. I suggest you break in that new idiot box with this Gurgle family favorite:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgWoPFX1Sz0

Get a load of all the great one liners.


I was checking out Wikipedia's; "On this day" and discivered that "A Trip to the Moon" was released on this day in in France 1902.

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...ns_la_lune.jpg

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Perhaps this is the year your lot remember they are the best, and play like it.

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We're living in hope!

Actually, having gone into the last 3 RWCs as Tri-nations champs, going in this time after losing has taken some of the pressure off.

The country's just starting to fizz now - should be a great show.

As long as the weather holds!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Just got a new - bigger 32 inch - telly, so I might be able to see who's playing. I have a particular seat on the edge of the settee which affords me the best view. I'll also benefit for Match of the Day on saturday and Sunday. Haha!

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Nice times for the games for you lot - I'd rather watch it at 8 am than 8 pm.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Sounds like rugby time again.

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Sure is! Catch some action on ESPN.

If we don't win, there will be a national month of mourning after the event.

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Can't you get those people from the makeover show to give you a new house. What's the bloke's name - Cy. You work in a very creditable job - I think you've got a good case.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLF46JKkCNg

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My sister had given me a phone number, seems several years ago one of those makeover shows were going to be in my area. Of course, they usually choose mansions so that the place looks a bit better after the makeover than it did before. But after seeing one show where the woman plastered hay on the walls, I thought I might be better off waiting for my cash flow to come in:frown2:

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Originally Posted by jocky

Nooooo! I was enjoying myself until you brought up the Xmas play. A certain person who I will not mention by name, but he comes from the Lone Star State enjoys gettin me during the Yuletide Season. Rule Brittania, Brittania rules the waves, Er:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H6h8i8wrajA

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Oh, we have to invite those two blokes also...I think I will come over to Britain this time in the HRM Camilla Bowles...:bigear:, oh, the fellow with the ears in Charles; though now that he has wrinkles, his ears don't seem quite so big.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

That thought has occurred to every married man at least 100 times.



Not a chance!

I let him "drive" into the garage the other day, sitting on my knee.

Well, teach all of your children to drive before you reach your mid-50s; I'l tell you, my nerves are a mess now when there is anyone behind the wheel except me, even if I keep mistaking the neighbors for a cat waving at me and the garbadge cans as an extra bit of rode.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

^Crickey Paul, It's a good job double entendres are passe.


Can't sleep? Try this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TM4c2...eature=related

By the way:-

I was asked to set up a password to recieve my Email - It had to have at least 8 characters, so I chose Snow White and the seven dwarves.

The above was chosen as the best joke of this year's Edinburgh Festival.

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Oh, god, that woke me up for good; I like counting sheep in pink tutoos...by the way, do you have any more gay tups?

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

"I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought', I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid."

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:skep::thumbsup:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

If you can't sleep, you can try,
The curmudgeon's lullaby,
Thats gin and orange and whisky rye,
Soon golden slumbers close your eye.

And golden dreams can then begin,
Of you and Steffi, and her twin?
And Parker comes and tucks you in,
And wipes the gin from off your chin,

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God man, that is so beautiful it almost made me cry.

Something happened to your avatar, Sound - it's turned into a small alien thingy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

My sister had given me a phone number, seems several years ago one of those makeover shows were going to be in my area. Of course, they usually choose mansions so that the place looks a bit better after the makeover than it did before. But after seeing one show where the woman plastered hay on the walls, I thought I might be better off waiting for my cash flow to come in:frown2:

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Yes - I don't like them anymore. I watched our first ones in the 90's, but I quicky got bored with them.

It's the same with cooking shows and quizzes. I would never watch any of them except as a social thing with Mrs P.

I've never lied soaps and I,m not keen on lots of detectives. My favourite one - Dalzial and Pascoe is the one Mrs P doesn't like. I like it because the two detectives are very miserable and it's set in Yorkshire.

We often have "Murder She Wrote" on and I marvel at the new clothes everyone wears... and the wigs...I don't like it though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

Oh, god, that woke me up for good; I like counting sheep in pink tutoos...by the way, do you have any more gay tups?



:skep::thumbsup:


God man, that is so beautiful it almost made me cry.

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I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers. I shall flourishing my testicle tape in markets up and down the north of England (or at least I will until I'm invited to leave.) I just hope may Gaydar is in better working order than it was last year.

In our house, we like 'which of these people is the least likeable?' shows, such as Come Dine With Me and Four Weddings, and we watch them en famille, eating shish kebabs with our fingers while criticising the participants' tableware.

About the only show I'd watch on my own, apart from Match of the Day, is University Challenge. Sometimes my eight-year-old daughter sits with me and keeps my score.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers.

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Please can I have that sentence to use as the opening line of a novel?

of course you can, sounds like the kind of novel I would buy.

I do the score keeping on University Challenge too, (usually mid-teens,) but what I really like doing, is pouring scorn on today's students when they don't know something I do.

I'm crap at Uni Challenge. I like it better than other quiz shows though as it remains an aspiration to get more than two right. I'm too uncultured at most of it. No MOTD ths week. Bah.

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Something happened to your avatar, Sound - it's turned into a small alien thingy.

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Ah yes, Jessica snapped a photo of me when I first got out of bed; I never comb my hair until I've had my kahluan coffee and I've found clothes that work well as both pajamas and day cloths.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Paulclem

Yes - I don't like them anymore. I watched our first ones in the 90's, but I quicky got bored with them.

It's the same with cooking shows and quizzes. I would never watch any of them except as a social thing with Mrs P.

I've never lied soaps and I,m not keen on lots of detectives. My favourite one - Dalzial and Pascoe is the one Mrs P doesn't like. I like it because the two detectives are very miserable and it's set in Yorkshire.

We often have "Murder She Wrote" on and I marvel at the new clothes everyone wears... and the wigs...I don't like it though.

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I miss all the BBC shows we had when I had cable and public broadcasting: loved Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett, The Miss Marple series, and when they ran the plays on the classics. I and mr sounds used to watch this old house; I began to realize that the home design shows were actually showing sets. Nowadays, I tend to like 48 hours mystery, South Park and I check out the newer movies at the library.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers. I shall flourishing my testicle tape in markets up and down the north of England (or at least I will until I'm invited to leave.) I just hope may Gaydar is in better working order than it was last year.

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They have testicle tape:ihih:; I think I might start carrying that with me when I go out of the occasional date.

This weekend we are entertaining my 7 year old Niece and Nephew (twins). Man I forgot how much work that can be.
I woke up at 5:30 am this morning thinking I was going to have a couple of hours of solitude. No chance!
They came down about 0600 asking to watch TV, play video games, etc.
Not in this house I told them, unless it's something like "Earth vs the Flying Saucers"
I managed to remedy the situation; no sooner than you could say SpongeBob, my Niece was watercolor painting and my Nephew broke out the "army box" full of my son's plastic militarys toys.
I played Dvorak in the background.
It's amazing when you give your imagination a chance.

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Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

This weekend we are entertaining my 7 year old Niece and Nephew (twins). Man I forgot how much work that can be.
I woke up at 5:30 am this morning thinking I was going to have a couple of hours of solitude. No chance!
They came down about 0600 asking to watch TV, play video games, etc.
Not in this house I told them, unless it's something like "Earth vs the Flying Saucers"
I managed to remedy the situation; no sooner than you could say SpongeBob, my Niece was watercolor painting and my Nephew broke out the "army box" full of my son's plastic militarys toys.
I played Dvorak in the background.
It's amazing when you give your imagination a chance.

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:biggrin5:

I know what you mean.We had our 3 year old niece over the summer holidays. When my wife said - Is it ok ? I said yes of course - foolishly thinking it would be a two or perhaps three nights. I turned out to be six nights!! We were completely exhausted at the end of it - even though she was as good as gold and slept for a solid 12 hours a night virtually as soon as her head hit the pillow. The 12 hours went from 6 until 6 of course, and so it was an early start.

I'll be writing a blog about it later when I get round to it.

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I miss all the BBC shows we had when I had cable and public broadcasting: loved Sherlock Holmes with Jeremy Brett, The Miss Marple series, and when they ran the plays on the classics. I and mr sounds used to watch this old house; I began to realize that the home design shows were actually showing sets. Nowadays, I tend to like 48 hours mystery, South Park and I check out the newer movies at the library.

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The show Mark mentioned - Come Dine with Me is interesting. A group of four or five people have the group round to their place in turn. The others mark them on food, entertainment and ambience. It can be quite funny

Quote:

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Originally Posted by soundofmusic

They have testicle tape:ihih:; I think I might start carrying that with me when I go out of the occasional date.

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Oh god, please put it on YouTube when you whip out the tape!

Speaking of TV; does anyone else watch "Balls of Steel"? Some of it's a bit droll, but the Bunny Boiler is comedy gold.

Cor blimey.

You want to know the worst thing about being in business?

When people don't pay their damned bills.

We have enough money owing to buy a couple of third world countries.

Lucky Parker runs a tab!

Drinks all round then. (Make mine a triple)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

Cor blimey.

You want to know the worst thing about being in business?

When people don't pay their damned bills.

We have enough money owing to buy a couple of third world countries.

Lucky Parker runs a tab!

Drinks all round then. (Make mine a triple)

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Parker, if you would hold mine at a single; I need to get these bills out.

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Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.)

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Drought over then?

:D

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

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:smilielol5:

England, oh England, wherefore art thou?

(Oop north, lud!)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

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:biggrin5:
Was "Shed of Devon" going to be a pamphlet? Fascinating subject I bet. A bloke who knew a friend had turned his garage into a shed. He had a suite in there with a telly and his homebrew wine and beer.

He was a shed God.

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I only have one tup to buy this year, a Derbyshire Gritstone, to service my maiden gimmers....

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by MarkBastable

...Please can I have that sentence to use as the opening line of a novel?

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Back from visiting the daughter in Devon. (It rained alot.) Had intended to collect photos for a book idea I've had, entitled "The Sheds of Devon", however the whole county has been so gentrified, restored and done-up, I only found gazebos, garden lodges and wendy houses.

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That is a brilliant idea and wonderful title and you already have the opening line, unless of course Mark beats you to it.

Are gnomes common among sheds and allotments?

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Not common, though there may be some. They are not common in gardens either, but there are people who have them. They tend to be people who have lots rather than just one - odd in other words.:biggrin5:

After the so called performance of our representative rugby teams yesterday, I'm feeling a unusual kinship and empathy with Jocky this morning. (I even had porridge.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by prendrelemick

After the so called performance of our representative rugby teams yesterday, I'm feeling a unusual kinship and empathy with Jocky this morning. (I even had porridge.)

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Did you see the Wales game?

They won 19-17, but the scoreboard had them losing 16-19.

Yes but thats Wales for you. Play well, deserve to win, should have won, yet they are unlucky enough to lose by a thousand to one chance. Its why the Welsh are all tragic poets at heart, they know that for them life is unfair.

On the sheds idea, we have a book in our downstairs cloakroom called 'Privies of the Cotswolds', which is a book of pictures of, er, privies in the Cotswolds. So there's obviously a market for this sort of thing.

As for gnomes, I have heard that they are making an ironic post-modern comeback. We had a couple of plastic gnomes in our front garden when I was a kid, and I was very fond of them. Of course, now that I'm grown-up I'm way above such things. Which is why we have a concrete gargoyle in our back garden.

70 days of 100+ deg F this summer surpassing 1980's record of 69 days.
That's why I've had gnomes on my mind.
Folks around here say gnomes can bring bring rain.
I'm willin to try anything.


http://nationalguitarmuseum.com/blog.../allthings.jpg


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