Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

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12-23-2009, 01:09 AM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

How can I relax Gilly ? I am scared and alone and there is no way you can argue with youtube. Them thar lights sure looked real to me Elmer and Jethro. Hey listen, the next time you do a bombing campaign any chance of dropping them on the bad guys?

Forgive me, I take my vernacular peculiarities for granted, forgetting that the world outside the Republic has likely not experienced the proliferation of UFO's, alien abductions, marauding Big Feet, Jackalopes, Elvis and Jim Morrison sightings, to the extent that we have. Take it from a bloke who has shared in many of these life experiences, that they will all come to pass.

Could be the Norton Bombsights - the military budget is quite lean these days.
12-23-2009, 04:21 AM
prendrelemick

I think its time.

LONE RANGER: "Well Tonto old friend, it looks bad, we have no food, no water, out of ammo, Silver and Scout both dead and we are surrounded by two thousand hostile Indians. I know it looks hopeless, but at least we'll be together at the end."

TONTO: "What do you mean "we" White-man!"
12-23-2009, 10:51 AM
jocky

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

I think its time.

LONE RANGER: "Well Tonto old friend, it looks bad, we have no food, no water, out of ammo, Silver and Scout both dead and we are surrounded by two thousand hostile Indians. I know it looks hopeless, but at least we'll be together at the end."

TONTO: "What do you mean "we" White-man!"

:lol: Two words spring to mind, barrel and scraper.
12-23-2009, 02:15 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Were else could we link up with Nevada and discuss one of your cultural icons and a bloke from Todmorden called the Rochdale Cowboy. Superb.

Immediately followed by aliens!

:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Now guys, you know I do ramble on a bit about extra terrestrial existence, but this is a tale that must be related. As I was watching the blizzard the other night, from the outside looking in, you guessed, I had been thrown out again, I saw some strange orange lights in the sky. I banged hard on the window mouthing aliens, let me in; and my wife and kids replied in unison, well we hope they freeze to death along with you mother something or other. I know what I saw :)

Haha!

What you saw was actually an electronic helicopter. The people watching you won't be so polite as to just use probes.

;)
12-24-2009, 01:35 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Now guys, you know I do ramble on a bit about extra terrestrial existence, but this is a tale that must be related. As I was watching the blizzard the other night, from the outside looking in, you guessed, I had been thrown out again, I saw some strange orange lights in the sky. I banged hard on the window mouthing aliens, let me in; and my wife and kids replied in unison, well we hope they freeze to death along with you mother something or other. I know what I saw :)

I hear the aliens are trying to start a new race of Scottish aliens; be careful Jocky.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

I believe we are getting things a bit mixed up;
Roy Rodgers, the actor and singing cowboy rode a horse named Trigger who is no relation to the Lone Ranger who road a horse named Silver who is associated with
Tonto who road a horse named Scout, none of which are related to
Will Rodgers, the great humorist and a master

Thank you for clearing that up; ah yes Roy and Dale and "Happy Trials and Yellow Rose...
Lone Ranger and the white horse and india
Will and the Big ears and sense of humor...
12-24-2009, 06:53 AM
jocky

The following Xmas presents are on there way: To Atheist a Penn Intl 50t 550 yards test reel, so there will be no excuses for that Mako getting away. To Prendrelemick a digitally remastered dvd of Scotland beating England 3-2 in 1967. To Gilliatt two tickets to the jackalope rodeo in Galveston. To Soundomusic a first edition of the Marquis De Sade's Justine, to put our little depravities in perspective. To Gbrekken a do it yourself earthquake shelter for the big one. To Comedian half a dozen eggs to go with the bacon. To Red Headed a bottle of hair dye. To the moderators merry Xmas. Have a good one from Jocky and family. :)
12-24-2009, 08:47 AM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Great idea Jocky and thanks for the tickets. My Uncle will be competing.

And in return, I have a few gifts I would like to share as well, but first we must gather round and have a drink--- (See Soundofmusic come in at about 2:20) ---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijnfd...eature=related

Jocky - A new kilt woven of Golden Fleece kindly donated from Magnus Pedi.
Atheist – A full head of hair and Kiwi pudding.
Prendrelemick – Keep an eye out for a delivery of premium Dumas Dung (extra dry).
Gbrekken – Two front teeth ---
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g_VhHqK6yoQ

Comedian – A bottle of my Grandmother’s Drambuie
Soundofmusic – An LP of the Trapp Family Singers and one of my Grandmother’s Avant- garde wigs.
Oh and Paulclem – I’ll treat you to cocktails at the end of your “Mad Friday” binge ---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvt4b...eature=related

Lastly, for all of us, a trip to Hawaii on me ---

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LQOXrMA4K0E

Gilliatt
12-24-2009, 12:04 PM
The Atheist

And from the first corner of the world to awake with its presents, Merry Xmas!

The kids have only been up since 4 am - things are improving. 2007, 2 am; 2008, 3 am... we're going to use GMT next year and get some damned sleep!

Have a great day everyone!
12-25-2009, 01:59 AM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

The following Xmas presents are on there way: To Atheist a Penn Intl 50t 550 yards test reel, so there will be no excuses for that Mako getting away. To Prendrelemick a digitally remastered dvd of Scotland beating England 3-2 in 1967. To Gilliatt two tickets to the jackalope rodeo in Galveston. To Soundomusic a first edition of the Marquis De Sade's Justine, to put our little depravities in perspective. To Gbrekken a do it yourself earthquake shelter for the big one. To Comedian half a dozen eggs to go with the bacon. To Red Headed a bottle of hair dye. To the moderators merry Xmas. Have a good one from Jocky and family. :)

I'm touched, Jocky. It hadn't occured to me that when I am fatter and 61 years old; I still might find a young lover...I must read more of this...
If I'm not being too greedy; can I borrow your original copies of Vlad Tepes works and Utopia?:lol:

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

And from the first corner of the world to awake with its presents, Merry Xmas!

The kids have only been up since 4 am - things are improving. 2007, 2 am; 2008, 3 am... we're going to use GMT next year and get some damned sleep!

Have a great day everyone!

And to think I just finished my Christmas eve lobster...You're all invited for pot roast tomorrow...I've taken off for the first time in 5 years!
12-25-2009, 11:44 PM
jocky

All I had to do was carve the turkey, a simple task I hear you say, no this is Jocky we are talking about. I stood in front of the big table as master of the house looking down on all the happy faces and grated the carving knife and fork together. Unfortunately, as the fates would have it, I stood on one of the kids new roller boots and went six foot in the air landing on the middle of the table. Similtaneously, twelve plates of scotch broth went flying and the wife's beautifully crafted bowl of trifle went over her head. Anyone for stuffing ? :)
12-26-2009, 07:27 AM
prendrelemick

Gilliatt and Jocky: Thankyou so much for those gifts.:thumbs_up

(have you got the receipts)
12-26-2009, 02:09 PM
The Atheist

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

...I've taken off for the first time in 5 years!

In a plane?

Your clothes?

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

All I had to do was carve the turkey, ...

:lol:

A Kiwi Christmas dinner.

Waiting until 6 or 7 to start the barbecue on a 28-degree day because it's just too hot to cook.

Fillet steak, marinated in a garlic & red wine, breast fillets of chicken coated with Alan's 11 secret herbs and spices & venison sausages.

I think someone made some salad to have with it.

Dessert: pavlova with fresh whipped cream.

Wine: Deutz champagne.

You can keep the snow!
12-26-2009, 06:12 PM
soundofmusic

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

All I had to do was carve the turkey, a simple task I hear you say, no this is Jocky we are talking about. I stood in front of the big table as master of the house looking down on all the happy faces and grated the carving knife and fork together. Unfortunately, as the fates would have it, I stood on one of the kids new roller boots and went six foot in the air landing on the middle of the table. Similtaneously, twelve plates of scotch broth went flying and the wife's beautifully crafted bowl of trifle went over her head. Anyone for stuffing ? :)

:bawling: That is the saddest story I've ever hear; the only thing that could make it worse is landing on the carving fork.

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

In a plane?

Your clothes?

:lol:

A Kiwi Christmas dinner.

Waiting until 6 or 7 to start the barbecue on a 28-degree day because it's just too hot to cook.

Fillet steak, marinated in a garlic & red wine, breast fillets of chicken coated with Alan's 11 secret herbs and spices & venison sausages.

I think someone made some salad to have with it.

Dessert: pavlova with fresh whipped cream.

Wine: Deutz champagne.

You can keep the snow!

I took it simple, just took off from work; though after hearing your menu, I might fly over. I've never heard of pavlova; I've got to try making one!
12-26-2009, 07:23 PM
jocky

:)

Quote:

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

I've never heard of pavlova; I've got to try making one!

Geez Soundo you really must stop eating at MacDonalds. One does not make a pavlova, one creates a pavlova. I ask again what is the world coming to ? :)

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

A Kiwi Christmas dinner.

Waiting until 6 or 7 to start the barbecue on a 28-degree day because it's just too hot to cook.

Fillet steak, marinated in a garlic & red wine, breast fillets of chicken coated with Alan's 11 secret herbs and spices & venison sausages.

I think someone made some salad to have with it.

Dessert: pavlova with fresh whipped cream.

Wine: Deutz champagne.

You can keep the snow!

If you are trying to make me jealous, it worked. Here is a copy of the wife's boxing day menu:

STARTER- Turkey soup.

MAIN COURSE-Turkey with various vegetables and herbs, or turkey without various vegetables and herbs.

DESSERT-Turkey marinated in it's own jelly.

I hate Xmas :(
12-27-2009, 11:24 AM
Gilliatt Gurgle

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

A Kiwi Christmas dinner.

...Dessert: pavlova with fresh whipped cream...

Coincidentally, my great Grandfather, Ivan from Russia, used that stuff in his dog experiments.
As one of his descendents, I have been conditioned to enjoy it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

:)

...DESSERT-Turkey marinated in it's own jelly...:(

That is fowl and disgusting!