Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Talking of Gentlemen, what about Indian Captain Dhoni withdrawing that appeal yesterday after Bell had been given out. Send him a bottle of Champagne, Parker - and make sure its the good stuff!

---

He was oot end of story.

He was out, no doubt about it, and he hadn't the grace to thank the Indians afterwards

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

He was out, no doubt about it, and he hadn't the grace to thank the Indians afterwards

---

The idea of the gentleman does seem to be losing ground apart from our very own Parker who would have choked over his broadsheet, which he would have been ironing to place in the Cold Ale lounge, if he had seen that unsportsmanship like behaviour. Despicable.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Yeah, it's down in Louisiana in a mojo hand.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pgp74...eature=related







.

---

It is in safe hands with ole Lightning hopkins, I could not think of a better man to look after my mojo. If only I had caught the 3.10 to Yuma I would never have been humiliated at 4.13. This should explain everything:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRggv-OGSI

To Soundo and Suggery this is for you, who says the age of chivalry is gone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKvB3g3HEPQ

Who said us Jocks are not romantic, apart from Mrs Jocky. :)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

It is in safe hands with ole Lightning hopkins, I could not think of a better man to look after my mojo. If only I had caught the 3.10 to Yuma I would never have been humiliated at 4.13. This should explain everything:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uYRggv-OGSI

---

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

---

:lol:

Ryanair could not serve mushy peas of that quality.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

To Soundo and Suggery this is for you, who says the age of chivalry is gone:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hKvB3g3HEPQ

Who said us Jocks are not romantic, apart from Mrs Jocky.

---

Be careful with that Corries tune, you'll find that I'm an ole romantic too. Sounds nice.
Oh and that Ian Anderson tune you posted a while back is a hit with the missus.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

---

Five green laugh'n smilies fer ya !

.

Meanwhile, in Scotland...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuPP-2Noy-c&NR=1

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Meanwhile, in Scotland...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GuPP-2Noy-c&NR=1

---

:lol:

I had a feeling you might dig that one out.

Gilliat I am glad your Missus liked the Anderson song she is obviously a lady of great taste.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

Seasick Steve is excellent.

How about catching the next tour by flying Yorkshire Airlines.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rm6VC5gdaFA

---

Actually, we're quite proud of being like that.:lol:

"Wipe thy bluddy feet"

:lol:

Course every region has something a little bit odd.

http://i85.photobucket.com/albums/k7...ge-444x595.jpg

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Course every region has something a little bit odd.

---

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.

---

The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Actually, we're quite proud of being like that.:lol:

---

We are. :iagree:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

---

I'd be telling him to get his prostate checked very soon!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

I'd be telling him to get his prostate checked very soon!

---

:lol:
If he pays his dues in the club then we can all get a minibus up together come the time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Odd doesn't beging to describe that - what the hell is it? My guess is art that the artist was paid thousands of punds for.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

The piece is called Non-Handed Piss. It depicts the end of the piss and the technique of the non-handed shake.

---

Close Paul, my son tells me it is titled "Voldemort's Non Handed Piss" aka "Voldemort Shakes Dew off Lily" among southerners.

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbn...ggvoldie_1.jpg

.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Varenne Rodin

Well, aren't you a peach? Thanks, dollface.

---

Anytime;)

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jersea

Well, there is nothing wrong with being a strong confident woman. You go Sugardoll!

---

:idea:I'm an insecure woman in a confident womans body; but as no one looks more than skin deep :lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

What's happening? we're knee deep in women! Have you been auditioning pole dancers again Parker?

---

Did Parker trick us again, I, Mrs J, the two Mrs P's, and Mrs G all received invitations saying that there was going to be a mens wet tea shirt and tighty whitey contest...:drool5:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Intriguingly specific estimation of depth, that.

---

:iagree::lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Only knee deep? That's not going to be much good.

---

Obviously it works for Mark, I guess he has more going for him than a cool car.:auto:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by jocky

Mrs Jocky is being difficult again. It all began late on Sunday evening as I walked unsteadily up our front path belting out the Halleluja Chorus from Handel's Messiah. There she was silhouetted in the front doorway in what I can only describe as a warlike
pose.

"Where the hell have you been?"

I have been at Evensong.

"Evensong! You have never seen the inside of a church since the day we got married, you even refused to have our kids Christened."

Aye, but this was different they had a free communion wine tasting.

"If I find out you have been down at the Curmudgeons with that bunch of wasters from the Cold Ale Thread it will be the sofa for you for the forseeable future."

Let me past darling I think I am going to throw up.

---

I hope you didn't tell her that there are more women on the thread; Mrs J is a force to be dealt with...particularly when she starts quoting shakespeare

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:
We'll have to get a super extra large sofa for the club. At worst case we'll be like Charlie Bucket's grandparents in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

---

:nopity:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Close Paul, my son tells me it is titled "Voldemort's Non Handed Piss" aka "Voldemort Shakes Dew off Lily" among southerners.

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/images/thumbn...ggvoldie_1.jpg

.

---

:lol::lol:

Its called Solace in the Wind. Perhaps that's a Kiwi euphenism like, "hang on a minute I'm just going for a solace in the harbour."

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by soundofmusic

:idea:I'm an insecure woman in a confident womans body; but as no one looks more than skin deep :lol:

---

I should borrow you for the does love exist thread!

:D

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Its called Solace in the Wind.

---

:facepalm:

I never even picked that that was Wellington. My original thought when you posted it was, "What the hell is Ghandi doing in bluddy Yorkshire?"

Now, I understand. Wellington likes to sell itself as the arts capital of NZ. It has to, since there absolutely nothing else going for it.

Last time I was down there, I reckon I was fishing with the kids from that very spot. Great place to catch stingrays.

It was, however, made by a Pommy!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Perhaps that's a Kiwi euphenism like, "hang on a minute I'm just going for a solace in the harbour."

---

If you know Wellington, even that's explained. The wind is usally blowing a gale from the direction it's facing, which is why Wellington residents develop a list after a few years there.

Mrs P's only comment was "Has he got a willy?"

I wonder how many Wellingtonian maidens are going fall in to the harbour trying to answer that very question.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Mrs P's only comment was "Has he got a willy?"

I wonder how many Wellingtonian maidens are going fall in to the harbour trying to answer that very question.

---

That depends upon whether there is anything to hang on to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

That depends upon whether there is anything to hang on to.

---

:smilielol5:

Convenient hand-hold?

Funnily enough, that is exactly the piece of wharf Wellington Girls' College sixth-formers jump off into the harbour on the last day of term before final exams.

It's the last day they have to wear uniform and a hundred or so of them dive in every year in full school uniform. Being summer and all in white blouses....

Popular event, that!

Lucky he's made of bronze.

Seems that the world economic situation has penetrated the fastness of W. Yorks. I'm allowed only one Hobnob with my tea tonight. Have I lost my AAA credit rating at the post office? Or is Mrs P on one of her diets that always seems to include me in its privations? Cold Comfort Farm it is.

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc. I often just forget though and end up absentmindedly stuffing something in.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc.

---

Diets are a tool of Satan.

That's why women like them so much.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

:smilielol5:


It's the last day they have to wear uniform and a hundred or so of them dive in every year in full school uniform. Being summer and all in white blouses....

Popular event, that!

Lucky he's made of bronze.

---

Who wouldn't be?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

I'm supposed to be observing one - no chocolate cake biscuit etc etc...

---

Nothing wrong with observing a diet. I often observe one. "Ah, darling, I observe that you're avoiding your roast potatoes. May I?"

Actually, I have been losing weight, which I needed to do. I have an app for it. You tell it what you've eaten - or what you're considering eating - and it tells you how many calories are in it. It also gives helpful advice. ("The Pret-a-Manger All Day Breakfast? Are you out of your blubbery mind?")

I've lost well over a stone in about four months, which is a sensible rate of shed, I think. Needless to say, this is all without any kind of exercise at all. I even get someone at the office to walk over to the Wharf at lunchtime to bring back my hoi sin duck sushi ("187 calories. Fill yer boots, sunshine.")

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Diets are a tool of Satan.

That's why women like them so much.

---

We do love Satan.

I found last year that if I just have fruit in between meals, then I do lose the fat. I get lots of exercise, but no have a more sedentary sitty downy job than I did before. That coupled with a later forties change has grown my gut.

Harder to lose these days.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Varenne Rodin

We do love Satan.

---

Mrs P loves satin too.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Mrs P loves satin too.

---

:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Mrs P loves satin too.

---

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?

---

Not here, we like things hot and rough, so we prefer burlap.


.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle

Not here, we like things hot and rough, so we prefer burlap.


.

---

:lol:

Some people look good in anything.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by MarkBastable

Nothing wrong with observing a diet. I often observe one. "Ah, darling, I observe that you're avoiding your roast potatoes. May I?"

Actually, I have been losing weight, which I needed to do. I have an app for it. You tell it what you've eaten - or what you're considering eating - and it tells you how many calories are in it. It also gives helpful advice. ("The Pret-a-Manger All Day Breakfast? Are you out of your blubbery mind?")

I've lost well over a stone in about four months, which is a sensible rate of shed, I think. Needless to say, this is all without any kind of exercise at all. I even get someone at the office to walk over to the Wharf at lunchtime to bring back my hoi sin duck sushi ("187 calories. Fill yer boots, sunshine.")

---

:lol:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Paulclem

:lol:

How many blokes have been tempted by satin?

---

Satin Doll -- by the Duke

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDDCzb3dv_Y

Satin has dolls? I bet I know which kind.:lol:

" Now the youth of England are afire and silken dalliance in the wardrobe lies " Geez.