Snapshots

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Wow! Many thanks, and in apology may I offer this:

Sometimes we dance
with others, a tango, a fox-trot
or the slow tantalizing steps of romance
but sometimes, unseen, alone,
we dance with our dreams,
and that might be
the best dance of all.

We set the scene, a magnificent ball-
room or a forest glade under a canopy
of stars, winking at us
from light-years ago
as if to promise that our light
will continue to shine long after
our mortal bodies no longer
emit light or warmth or hope
or love. We are love!

Arms, legs, hearts
that burn for love, for sex,
for forever, but above all,
We are love!

Take us sweetly and softly.
Take us with hands
that could bend steel
but that would not bruise
the wings of a butterfly.

The fear of loving
has bruised the heart
of many an angel
and left it broken
by the side of the road.

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Wow! Apology accepted! You're setting the bar pretty high or is that you're sitting high at the bar? :D Truly, that is a lovely, lovely poem.

A young middle-aged woman
strides purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees,
cellulite thighs. She notices
me noticing her.
Doesn't like it.

Haha,
that's funny...
How you notice her 'down-falls' and her fall-downs and her-knees falling DOWN and yet you still? look at her with adoring eyes because you're hiding your
downfalls, and she's not?
OR - Alternate and yet still fu.cked up reading:
The paradox of the woman being "young" and yet "middle ages", and two of both, and both... at the same time
"striding purposefully by" connotes an unrelenting confidence not wavered by the looks of others who project fear of their age and death onto her for they're jealous of her youth but simultaneously worshipping it.
You could be writing it from her own self-castigation, but that would be your egotistic presupposition that you can see into her mind and thus see yourself as a woman, through a woman's eyes.
Or you could be seeing her as yourself, and therefore you're either blind to her faults or she doesn't like you looking at her because you don't think that you're 'beautiful' (haha silly word) enough to lot at her, or you assume your imminent rejection...
which comes,
but yet maybe it doesn't come because you're only reading into her 'LOOK' from your own self-judgment.

I APOLOGIZE (not really) if that was ALL OVER THE PLACE,
I'm doing a massive assignment at the moment and am in the process of drinking V and wont hide my fear of my stupidity.

Jodi

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Umbilical

Haha,
that's funny...
How you notice her 'down-falls' and her fall-downs and her-knees falling DOWN and yet you still? look at her with adoring eyes because you're hiding your
downfalls, and she's not?
OR - Alternate and yet still fu.cked up reading:
The paradox of the woman being "young" and yet "middle ages", and two of both, and both... at the same time
"striding purposefully by" connotes an unrelenting confidence not wavered by the looks of others who project fear of their age and death onto her for they're jealous of her youth but simultaneously worshipping it.
You could be writing it from her own self-castigation, but that would be your egotistic presupposition that you can see into her mind and thus see yourself as a woman, through a woman's eyes.
Or you could be seeing her as yourself, and therefore you're either blind to her faults or she doesn't like you looking at her because you don't think that you're 'beautiful' (haha silly word) enough to lot at her, or you assume your imminent rejection...
which comes,
but yet maybe it doesn't come because you're only reading into her 'LOOK' from your own self-judgment.

I APOLOGIZE (not really) if that was ALL OVER THE PLACE,
I'm doing a massive assignment at the moment and am in the process of drinking V and wont hide my fear of my stupidity.

Jodi

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Yes, you could be right about any or all of that or, on the other hand, she might have been a young middle-aged woman who strode purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees, cellulite thighs, who noticed me noticing her and didn't like it.

Haha, yes, that is true. :)

Sorry I got a bit carried away having too much fun there...

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

A young middle-aged woman
strides purposefully by
in shorts, middle-aged knees,
cellulite thighs. She notices
me noticing her.
Doesn't like it.

---

Wow Prince, this one is both amazing and funny, good job, just a few nit picks but nothing serious.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ampoule

So, Prince, if you don't mind my asking, where were you this morning? You don't have to actually tell me WHERE you were but why weren't you here. You don't have to actually tell me WHY you weren't here. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. If I don't see a post from Prince early in the morning I get all worked up. :D Anyway, I'm glad you're here.

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Ah, here's one girl who understands how I feel! I ditto everything you said! :p

Shou! Your poem 'sometimes we dance' grows more wonderful with each stanza! The last one is just marvelous! That's YOU! That's my Shou! :) :banana:

On downscale, somewhat dilapidated
Fairmount a young woman gets out
of the passenger side of a Bentley convertible
next to the Greek depanneur,
and gets into her gleaming
Lexus C350 coupe.

“Must be fun to drive that,”
I say with an edge of envy in my voice.
“Not bad,” she replies with a laugh
and, pointing a manicured finger
after the departing behemoth,
“but not as nice as that!”

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

On downscale, somewhat dilapidated
Fairmount a young woman gets out
of the passenger side of a Bentley convertible
next to the Greek depanneur,
and gets into her gleaming
Lexus C350 coupe.

“Must be fun to drive that,”
I say with an edge of envy in my voice.
“Not bad,” she replies with a laugh
and, pointing a manicured finger
after the departing behemoth,
“but not as nice as that!”

---

Oooh I love that "pointing manicured finger." Very strong image. I think you really captured something with this snapshot Prince. I like it!

Fiftyish guy goes by, tipped forward
like the brim of his safari hat,
tan cotton shirt, vest
and trousers, moustache
like a rhinoceros.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Fiftyish guy goes by, tipped forward
like the brim of his safari hat,
tan cotton shirt, vest
and trousers, moustache
like a rhinoceros.

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You get these to where I can see the people! Nicely done, my friend! Bravo! :)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Pendragon

You get these to where I can see the people! Nicely done, my friend! Bravo! :)

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Thanks and think of this as a test more for my benefit than yours: How do you imagine the man's body, the size or shape of it? I thought of specifying that but try not to overload these snapshots.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PrinceMyshkin

Thanks and think of this as a test more for my benefit than yours: How do you imagine the man's body, the size or shape of it? I thought of specifying that but try not to overload these snapshots.

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He has no camera, this poet,
day after day, like a bee
gathering the pollen of humanity
at the café, his window seat,
occasionally engaging you
or you in his dance, which is to say,
uncommon flowers make nectar sweet.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by firefangled

He has no camera, this poet,
day after day, like a bee
gathering the pollen of humanity
at the café, his window seat,
occasionally engaging you
or you in his dance, which is to say,
uncommon flowers make nectar sweet.

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Thanks, bro. I can't believe I've posted 50 of these! I do worry that I might one day son run out of film, though never of subjects.

so far, still so strong.. :D

I loved the rhinoceros crack! Such a vivid image...

mornin', Uncle Jer! (er, I have no idea what time it over there...)