Indeed, they are a lovely pair.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandi
We already have several members from the former colony of USA, if that's what you mean, so certainly, pull up a chair, tell Parker what you're drinking, and come on in!
Printable View
Indeed, they are a lovely pair.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandi
We already have several members from the former colony of USA, if that's what you mean, so certainly, pull up a chair, tell Parker what you're drinking, and come on in!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandi
So! That's where kate's gone. She left my fantasy about two weeks ago and I haven't seen her since.
( Ask her where she put the pot of yoghurt and the bycycle pump when you next see her.)
:eek2:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I need a strong one after that!
That seems to have been taken care of! A few whacks with the big stick by Scher and it quietened down nicely.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I'll get Parker to set her up a..
Scher, what would you like? Something long and refreshing after that workout!
:D
____________________________________
I've had Parker lay in a few cases of Corgi Pale Ale in honour of Her Majesty's birthday observation in New Zealand.
To celebrate the occasion, I've put out a few anti-monarchists rants.
:cheers2:
Whoa - that is some stick.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
I'd be wary of the Corgi "Pale Ale".
The monarchy's arms are empire length.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
She reminds me of a headmistress we used to have (Sher that is, not the Queen,) a few whacks across the back of the leg with two rulers would soon bring us into line.
I realize now she used two rulers held together for sound effect purposes, they made a very loud THWACK! instantly cowering any dissent from the watching 6 year olds.
We used to get THE STRAP which, thinking back, was like a belt with no buckle, and not particularly painful. i think it was the anticipation of THE STRAP that caused the pain.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
We also used to get rules and slippers - or pumps across the backside. I've also been and seen kids get slapped - sometimes across the face. The Middle school i went to had the cane - which I never had the pleasure of.
Ahh the good old days...
All the same, it was nothing to what you got at home anyway. My parents would say that it never did them any harm. They were nuts though, so I'm not too sure.
That sounds a lot like wishful thinking!Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I know what kept us in line - one day when I was about 8, the teacher beat the living crap out of my mate. She was in a fury, punctuating every second word she shouted at him with a very hard slap on the leg. After a couple of minutes, his leg was purple and he was crying hysterically.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
We kept pretty quiet after that!
Oh yeah, lots of that at my high. When I was in the sixth form I was mostly in love with my English teacher and I can vividly remember her going white one day when the deputy head was giving some kid six of the absolute best right outside the room. You could tell from the sounds that he really stepping into them hard.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Nasty business, that.
One of our teachers was a Maori All Black prop PE teacher. His classes were pretty well-behaved.
Well, it didn't always cause bad, but I do go along with laws that prohibit that kind of behaviour nowadays.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
It's the thought that teachers would be able to do it to your kids. Most teachers are fine enouh, but some I wouldn't trust with the power.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Yes, physical prescence is alays respected by boys. It was a factor - the unspoken elephant in the room - when I was teaching - not that I was a bully teacher or anything like that. It was just the awareness that you got respect for physical prescence.
I am certain one of the teachers at my high used to cane on an inordinate number of third formers and have very strong suspicion that had a lot more to do with his sexual fantasies than behaviour, which is what put me off the idea of letting teachers do it.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
As the youngest and youngest-looking boy at high when I started, I am eternally thankful I never got closer than 10m to him the entire time I was there.
Yeah, it's funny like that. Another teacher was also a 1st Class rugby player and I know for a fact he never touched a cane, let alone used one.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
His classes, while often a bit noisy, were always well-behaved, but because he was a top bloke and we didn't want to piss him off. (I had him as a teacher all the way through. ;))
I notice one of my kid's school's teachers as having a really well-behaved class every year, and I'm sure it's because he is strict but without being a dick. That old R-E-S-P-E-C-T works.
I don't know, maybe I'm looking at it from gender bias; but nurses have all the sex appeal of an 80 year old nun to me; which reminds me, any of you guys into nuns:lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
Do you have any idea where there hands have been, if so, you would never let them touch you! That's why I go after all doctors except gynecologists.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Well, I hope he has his dads witty personality.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Thank you for sharing that; some of my endowments also require suspenders; but I've given up wearing them. :lol:
Theres just something wrong about women who wear dangling earrings and a bikini.Quote:
Originally Posted by Mutatis-Mutandi
You're probably getting interference from the fetal monitor:idea:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I attended Catholic school for the first few years of grade school. I still have vivid memories of Sister Cecilia and her 12 inch Maple rule. She whacked your palms or wrists so hard, you could measure from the imprint left behind. My parents pulled me out and sent me to public school. I had the baseball coach for a history class in Junior High. He used a board, about the same proportions as a cricket bat. You don't want a baseball coach dolling out corporal "licks".Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Very funny !!Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
.
Only a few days after winning their sixth European Champion title in Barcelona, Spain, Panathinaikos of Athens clinched their 13th Greek Championship title in 14 years last night.
Panathinaikos went into the finals against Olympiakos Pireaus (also known as the scum of the earth) with a home-court disadvantage, but won the series 3-1 anyway - 'cause, you know. It's just the way it is. They have been the greatest club in Europe for so long that any aspiring challengers know they are just that, aspiring challengers.
The six-time European champions won the fourth game in the series 101 - 94 in front of their home crowd who once again packed the OAKA Arena to capacity, even though they lost their captain (and European player of the year) Dimitris Diamantidis a few seconds into the game due to injury. Youngster John Kalathis took over at point guard and dominated the key with 16 points and 5 assists. Antonis Fotsis hit 6/6 three-pointers in his 28-point rampage, and Mike Batist (pictured below) kept crashing the boards scooping up 11 offensive rebounds and 22 points.
For one night, we forgot our worries about the state our economy is in and had a chance to bring out the retsina and the bouzouki. Well, Panathinaikos fans did. Olympiakos fans didn't. Go on, ask me if I feel sorry for them...
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_0YS0Ob3sKZ...age1_41501.jpg
No way! They become a hard habit to break, so I hear.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I'd be more concerned about the proctologist!Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Ow!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Nuns have a horrible history of child abuse while teaching. Luckily for them, the behaviour of the priests allowed the nuns to hide away quietly.
Congrats to you and your team!Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
I'm betting you're not too upset for the Olympiakos fans. Something about your post just gives me that impression:
Olympiakos Pireaus (also known as the scum of the earth)
:smilielol5:
Basketball's going ok here at the moment as well, with our team having just taken out the Australian Champs.
I'm sure you wouldn't have minded your lashings if the nuns would have looked like Kate Middleton.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Thank you, it's good to be appreciated.
I don't know any women who go to proctologist...do we? hum, I don't know any proctologists that admit to being proctologists...:idea:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Really, well, I did meet a few gentlemen who found me irresistible in my white dresses, one later confided, though, that is was because my panty line showed through in the light.
Did we used to hear much about the sins of priests? I don't recall it until the 80s; though my mother being a protestant had all sorts of stories about Catholics.
So, is Kate with child or not, Star says yes, Buckingham says no.
Here in the UK the NHS calls us men up when we're 55 for a visit to the friendly local proctologist - not sure what they're called - well officially called - here.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
A friend of mine used to describe the visits. He said the chap usually looked a large ruddy faced giant who was of a genetic lineage of bale hauling agriculturalists whose usual hobbies included wrestling bulls or bending iron bars with their huge strapping hams.
I don't know whether it just looked that way as he adopted the position...
Anyway - to the utter delight of our wives - the birthday party will be in full swing when the letter - like an uninvited bad fairy - will drop through the letter box with the euphemism - screening - typed in jagged black letters across the top. :lol:
I shall be taking my own jar of vasaline.
Things a proctologist might say:
"Don't have a seat, I'll be right with you."
"Yes, I see a family resemblance."
"Out of K-Y Jelly? Oh well, let's do a dry run."
"I'm putting you on a low-bean diet."
"Nurse, give me a number 2 sandpaper glove."
"If you think that was a pain in the ***, wait till you get my bill."
"Nurse! Who let this ******* in my office?"
Yeah, women don't feature high on the rectal disease list. Where's your equal rights there, eh?Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Do they have national prostate screening in UK?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
There are signs of them wanting to do it here. Waste of time and money, and adverse medical results says it shouldn't happen, but some blokes get a bit of size envy at the girls' health budgets every so often...
I think you'll find he means the hand size.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I always tell mates that if you're having anything done in that region, find a Chinese female doctor. ;) (I once had a Dutch bargee. :eek2:)
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...eist/funny.gifQuote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
Yes I think they do prostate screening too. Either that or they're thinking about it.
Isn't it strange how fellows with wide, heavy hands always go into jobs like glass blowing, proctology and gynecology. I had a doctor with huge hands who thought I had some sort of post traumatic stess because he said I bit him when his hands were in my mouth; the doctor was so huge that my teeth grazed his hands and his private parts always grazed the patients leg when he was doing an examination. :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Aren't their any female proctologists...of course, ones who don't wear glue on nails.Quote:
Originally Posted by DocHeart
I've avoided colonoscopies even though I'm a few years past 50. I had never met a woman with colon cancer except ladies of the night; but recently I talked with my ex's sister and she got colon cancer in her early 30's.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
That reminds me Atheist, do any of you fellows remember when "trolling" met prostituting? Apparently, it means something else now
Against the sound findings of the BMJ, no less.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Yes!Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
Although I've always used it in fishing rather than that kind of hooking. I guess you could troll for hookers on the internet!
Looks like winter might be finally starting here and we haven't been back to our beach yet.
Lizzie's birthday was taken up with more civilised pursuits:
http://i150.photobucket.com/albums/s...inaionline.jpg
(the winner of the Open Hurdle at Ellerslie racecourse on Monday)
Ah a day at the races, that photo could have been taken this spring at Haydock - doesn't New Zealand do Autumn?
The daughter went to York races last month. She put £5 on a horse and it won, so she put £10 on a horse in the next, that won too. She went to put £20 on one in the next, but couldn't get to her lucky bookie in time, and the horse won. She had chosen horses she liked the look of, nothing to do with form.
Her boyfriend then got her to put all his remaining stake money on a horse she fancied in the next, and he lost it all.
That lady luck, fickle as ever.
I once played a rugby game in the middle of York racecourse. It was a saturda morning, but no races were going on at the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
I received the white glove treatment a couple of years ago.Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
My Dr. is from India, she has big hands.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Hold your Jackalopes!!...is Lizzie one of yours?
Great job and/or happy birthday.
--------
Entirely random; a fresh layer of chemtrail dust just settled on my property last night and it got me to thinking about other wordly phenomenon. I found this postcard I picked up the last time I passed through Roswell New Mexico:
http://i963.photobucket.com/albums/a...ebrisField.jpg
The caption on the back reads:
"Major Jesse Marcel inspects material as "Mac" Brazel discusses finding the debris field on the ranch near Corona, New Mexico, July 7, 1947"
Looks like we have an anniversary coming up!
.
God, if only that had happened in the days when people had cameras with films in them and not just aeroplanes, TV, radio, computers, atomic bombs, Lucky Strike cigarettes and Willy's Jeeps. What a pic that would have made!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Anyway, it's now all clear on Roswell, had you not caught up with that?
It wasn't aliens, but Russian mutant midget dwarfs, courtesy of the Angel of Death himself, direct from Auschwitz, Herr Doktor Mengele.
And I know that's true, because it was written by an investigative journalist and it was in a real newspaper!
[/frantically searches for nose-thumbing emoticon....]
Isn't the horse supposed to jump the hurdle?Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Haha :cool:Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Is the doctor big everywhere else? My gosh, how far did you have to go to find a big indian woman? You know, I never quite trust people that tell me to drop my pants and look the other way...are you sure it was a doctor...Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
And talking of getting taken...how about those air ballons....:lol:
That is my brother Hamish he works full time as a male stripper, apparently the Women's Institute were most impressed by his last performance. Just between us he has a few shortcomings if you get my drift. :yesnod:Quote:
Originally Posted by soundofmusic
I note with great interest that surgical procedures seem to be the hot topic of the day. It was on this very subject that Mrs Jocky and I came very close to divorce. Those of you with a squeamish disposition should look away now. It all started five minutes after young Jocky was born, I was sitting with my tea and toast watching the medical team repairing the carnage when I asked the midwife if there was any chance of them inserting a few extra stitches. Well for some reason beyond my limited comprehension Mrs J leapt out of the bed and tried to strangle me, encouraged by several members of the female maternity staff. After all I had been through you would have thought a little sympathy and compassion would have been forthcoming. :)
School is out for the summer and I finally go around to ordaining the grill for the first time with some marvelous brats and the thickest New York Strip cut steaks. Young's Double Chocolate goes to wonderfully with this. I've got 4 pints sitting ready in the 'fridge with an Ommegang ale to wrap things up. I've got the evening's listening also lined up: Thelonius Monk, The Louvin Brothers, Johnny Cash, the Rolling Stones, and Bob Dylan. Should be a wonderful evening... although whether I'm able to get up and get into the studio tomorrow morning is another story.
Right now listening to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1HISecnfIFU
Enjoyed the Monk piece, shades of Acker Bilk or perhaps the other way round, your taste in music is first class. I got your subliminal message and take on board your observations. Perhaps we should just learn to live with each other. Have a good vacation as you thoroughly deserve it.Quote:
Originally Posted by stlukesguild
Quote:
Originally Posted by stlukesguild
Two of the Blokes finest return for some home brew :Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sVvKb...eature=related
St. Lukes, sounds like you have a great evening lined up. Congratulations on your freedom.
“ordaining” the grill? Either you’ve already been tipping the bottle and missing keys, or…come to think of it, that makes perfect sense; “ordaining the grill”.
You can take care of Dylan and Cash in one shot:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PEVK66jsEM
.
Gilliatt, it is fairly obvious that Stukes has been draining the bottle, sorry I mean the drain, no I meant derailing the girl. Well you know what I mean. Cue Atheist.
Actually the beer hasn't done it's work yet. I haven't even needed to rely on spell check so far. So let's break out this stuff:
http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5231/...ee0b0407f8.jpg
8.5% alcohol... that ought to get things warmed up.
Current listening:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kizPITXG9Ag
:smash:
Perhaps I should move on to Hank Williams next... but then it almost seems blasphemy to be drinking Belgian ale to Hank. Nothing but some good Kentucky whiskey or bourbon for Hank! :smilewinkgrin::smash:
Mate! Great to see you back again.
Broken the shackles for another week?
Yes, women make such a fuss during childbirth. I've been present at all four and it didn't look all that difficult!Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
The Real Blokes' [TM] trick to talking about episiotomy stitches is actually to tell the surgeon to leave a couple out.
;)
Since we are all in a joyous mood of alcohol induced stupefaction how about this for a half decent song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QE8YLPHZImw
Funny you should mention Kentucky, I'm working on some Maker's Mark as we type.Quote:
Originally Posted by stlukesguild
By the way Jocky, where the hell do you go on these extended sabbaticals?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Rumor has it, you've been held up in Paul's Ivy League cottage tormenting the residents of his allotment.
.
Joyous drinking songs? I prefer the dark stuff. Of course I can't help it. I'm listening to Johnny Cash right now... and wouldn't you know he'd sing the same song that was on the Louvin Brothers disc:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rct5EEt1VfA
Of course Johnny hits you like an Old Testament prophet...
hell, he even looked one...
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2723/...f1b9aaac_b.jpg
That's a face that Michelangelo would have loved. I can just imagine it on a sculpture of Isaiah or Abraham. :D
although this might be my favorite photo of Johnny:
http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3080/...bb2abeae_z.jpg
Expressing his thoughts, perhaps, on commercial Nashville "country" music.
:smash:
I have been worrying myself sick over Atheist's assertion that the Gulf stream is going to shift and Scotland will revert to an ice-age glacier. Then I got to thinking about the upside, as there always is, and the horror of our southern neighbours dealing with a mass invasion of six million Jocks. Farms and allotments in England look a very inviting prospect for us homeless supplicants. Mick and Paul had better pray that the weather forecast changes as mutton and aubergines will go down very nicely. In fact some of my fellow compatriots are planning to invade Halifax, nothing to do with survival you understand, for the specific pleasure of stringing up Brian Moore.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle