Unemployment. That which is brought about by the advent of the robot
Tattoo
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Unemployment. That which is brought about by the advent of the robot
Tattoo
Tattoo Fashion statements that though considered cool while we're young become a downright embarrassment when we grow old and wrinkled
Hospital
Touche!Quote:
Originally Posted by MarkBastable
A place for alcoholics to go when the last toast of "Your Health!" back-fired!
time-piece
time-piece : collective name for divisions of time - for instance, minute, second, year. These are known as 'standard time-pieces'. There is second category comprised of time-pieces that are as widely understood but less easily standardised. These are known as 'universal subjective time-pieces' - and they include:
- the eternity of doomed hope between dropping the ketchup bottle and it hitting the quarry-tiled kitchen floor
- the instantaneously disappeared hours between meeting your girlfriend at the station Friday night and her having to be back at her mother's for Sunday lunch
- the double perspective span that is your life, which looks like forever ahead of you on the first morning your dad drops you off at the primary school gates; but which appears to be no more than a fortnight behind you when you pass the school in the Chief Mourners' car on the way to your father's funeral
cactus
Cactus: Role model for English teachers. Just not quite so dry as many.
brochure
brochure :- Colorful and attractive manuals to misguide you
cars
cars Invention of the Devil in an effort to make all people lazy and fat, since they aren't getting any exercise walking
Trouble
Trouble: As this is a dictionary, and as you're here, dear reader, it's safe to assume you're looking for trouble - and you've come to the right place. If, indeed, you're looking for trouble, the best idea would probably be to look right in my typeface. It's widely accepted that trouble was born standing up and talking back. It is also thought that trouble's father was a green-eyed mountain jack. That's as may be - but what we can say for certain is that trouble is evil, and that its middle name is misery. Actually, it's difficult to overstress that point. It's evil, and on the whole you might want to avoid messing around with me. Er, with it, that is. Sorry. Carry on.
Crossword puzzle
Ena Clout. 3-1-4. (anag)
Worm-drive
Worm-drive The inescapable urge for worms to surface on rainy nights and have an orgy on the lawn
Vanity
The housemates in Big Brother, all of whom are hoping to be 'celebrities' by the time they come out.
righteous
I am, you're not. I am also humble, and proud of it!
Cryogenics
people who get weepy over Barbara Cartland novels
Barrister
The biggest criminal in the court
biro
a pen designed not to write
Polyglot
A parrot's throat.
stripper
I'll have you know Biro's are my pen of choice.Quote:
a pen designed not to write
There was an author called Val Biro. Only a pen name, one assumes.
Are we still on with "Stripper"?
pole ish dancer
radiator?
Oh my god it's bleeding! How do we make it stop?!
pithy
pithy When a dyslectic feels empathy for someone
Encore
Encore: to place, or to cause to be, at the actual or metaphorical centre
New Orleans
New Orleans: Had been familiar with Orleans or leaning toward having known something new
constable
Constable: An English painter who had a fondness for blue serge suits and hitting people over the head with a truncheon. Called, oddly, a life-preserver.
Traffic-jam
A paste made from crushed cars.
Pasta
what Sara Palin's third grade teacher should not have done
deodorant
A substance that masks a smell with a worse one.
Canape
Canape Question asked by a three-year old child at the most inopportune moments, such as during the Super Bowl or at a fine restaurant, usually at the top of their little lungs
Certain
When applied to horses, means that it is probably only fit for glue, or Belgian Lunchboxes.
Scent
See Deoderant
President
The mark made in the wing of your car after your wife gives you a cookery book as a present.
indigenous
A person with no obvious means of financial support who claims to have lived where you live before you did, and consequently wants you to bugger off so he can have your home.
counterweight
Noticing how much more of your wife there is on your tenth wedding anniversary than there was on the day you married.
gazeteer
Contrary to popular belief a Gazeteer is not one who gazets. A gazeteer is, in fact, a manufacturer of binoculars and devices which assist the spectator when they wish to gaze
Frock
an unpleasantry often heard at your doctor's office: as in "frock off"
penultimate
A superb writing implement which will make sure that everything you write is well articulated, grammatically correct and spelt proper.
bus-stop
A recreational area for disaffected youth which provides them with an outlet for their destructive urges. Ideally should be counstructed from vulcanised rubber and guarded by the demon Asteroth.
Telephone
A device that, in the modern era, has 37 different ways of telling you that the party to whom you wish to speak is too flaming lazy to answer it. (I encountered an answering machine last week that told me the person I was calling could not answer, and I couldn't leave a message. So much less efficient than me using my brain to realise that if he hadn't answered after 39 rings, he probably wasn't going to! And it cost me for the call!!!!!)
modulation
modulation: an extremely fervent expression of regard for The Small Faces
wallpaper