Lymerick

Apropos Limerick day a shy question from a non native: do you spell the word "Limerick", "Lymerick" or are the both possibilities correct?

I have only seen it spelled "Lymerick" as the title of this thread. Usually people write "limerick". I assume "lymerick" is an amusing typo.

Thanks, Yes/No. I shall adere to limerick. :)

There once was a fellow named Duke
He surfed and swam and played the uke'
Up on the north shore
Stuff of Hawaiian lore
Rode waves that'd make a grown man puke

Water is deep, blue and wet
And surfing allows one to get
Quite close to the stuff
Until one’s had enough
When the sunburn is ready to set.

Friday’s the end of the week
And the thirteenth as Friday seems bleak,
But I didn’t know
It’s the thirteenth and so
Nothing happened. My monsters stayed meek.

To envy what others have got
Keeps me measuring me at each spot
Where I sense some regret.
I would rather forget
What I lack since it’s likely a lot.

There once was a Sioux named Crazy Horse
Whom to the res' the army couldn't force
Had Custer's scorn
But at Little Big Horn
The Chief carved the Colonel into fourths

In the morning the sun turns up bright
Through the noon opened eyes feel delight.
As the colors caress
To enchant and to bless
They will merge with the star-calming night.

There once was a young doughboy
Who left home and hearth to deploy
Caught in the draft
He got the shaft
Neigh King nor Duke but of the hoi polloi

In memory of those who have died--
Politicians too often have lied--
We will have a parade.
Chase out demons. They’re paid
By the grave and by tears mothers cried.

There once was a great fighter ace
Who put in his sites a lowly dogface
The pilot he missed
The soldier got pissed
And fired one skyward for the ace to race

The Ace caught them both when they strayed.
The Jack--Oh! That Jack!--how he played
With the Queen while the King
Was off warmongering
And the Ace bribed them both and they paid.

As Jack of Clubs flaunted his bankroll
The King of Spades was merrily droll
In a game of Poker
There's always a Joker
And Queen of Hearts had an Ace in the hole

The Jack never did like that Ace
And the Ace thought the Jack a disgrace,
But the King never knew
Whom the Queen had been through.
They all laughed, but not right in his face.

Into the mix rode the gallant white knight
For the queen's honor he'd pledged to fight
Ensconced in her castle
She's nobody's vassal
Gaily engaged in an loose tripartite

The knight is delusional still
The blade of his sword swiftly will
Slice the head off a rumor
That caused his bad humor
And roll, being kicked, down the hill.

Once upon a time in a wood
Where a brook flowed and ancient trees stood
It was dark with despair
Then a rose blossomed there
Through its thorns bringing hope where it could.

A bit unlimericky but beautiful, Yes/No.

Thanks, Danik! It was based on a prompt from a blog I follow which has a weekly limerick challenge. This week the constraint was that the limerick had to start with "once upon a time" which doesn't fit the limerick meter, but is close enough. A limerick would normally start "there once was a".

I figured I might as well post it here too.

There once was a lady named Wanda
Who slept with her pet anaconda.
She said, "Darling, whither
And whence will you slither?"
The snake said, "Back home to Uganda."

Some humor shines best when it’s sunny.
Others want rain thick and runny.
We’re soaked when the skies
Shed big tears through God’s eyes
From His laughter. He thought we were funny.

The Queen and the King took off post haste
They had to hurry down to the vote place
To name a ship
For an Arctic trip
That the people called Boaty McBoatface

The British decided to say
“Up Yours” to the EU one day.
The markets were trashed
And the pound sterling crashed,
But they’re happy to go their own way.

Two Brits were once sitting on a log
Talking of exit over some grog
What about Herman?
You mean the German?
Right, but I just can't abide a Frog

Frau Merkel, the queen of EU,
In counting stars, wept: "Why so few?
Could not Britain's castles
Bear our immigrant hassles?
Ach Verdammt! Er, that is, boo-hoo.

Said Merkle, mien gott! Das ist nict gut
Dee British ist givinck us der boot
But no matter
We'll get fatter
On account of vee haf all dee loot

Poor Merkel, she gets all the flak
From any old George, Jill or Mack.
She’s the Queen and they’re not,
But those Jacks have all got
A wild Ace when they vote to strike back.

There once was a gal named Doris
Who lived in Sherwood Forest
Got chased by a bear
But she didn't care
At least it wasn't mayor Boris

Sherwood Forest was where Robin’s rump
And Maid Marian’s met in a bump
As they danced in moonlight,
But at dawn woke with fright:
“Boris Johnson looks like Donald Trump.”

In Arthur's fair land live the British:
A hardy and hale folk but skittish.
A drop in pounds sterling
Sent stout hearts awhirling,
While tempers grew almost LitNettish.

A mayor we'll just call B.J.
Surrendered the towel one day.
It isn't quite clear
Who will take it from here,
Though it's possible Theresa May.

^BAH-hahahah!

There was an MP named Nigel Farage
Who went to Brussels with this message:
You folks are French
You've got no sense
Then left with his motley entourage

King Arthur had Merlin to blame
And Guinevere wanted the same
And Lancelot, too,
Needed someone, but who
Would the EU find worthy to name?

There once was a vast aristocracy
Propped up by a corrupt theocracy
But anarchy's for fools
And monarchy for tools
What's left but the people's democracy

The day that we watch the banks crash
We will look to the sky raining trash.
Then we’ll reach down for crumbs
With our fingers and thumbs
And get all that we want but no cash.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Sancho

^BAH-hahahah!

---

If you cackle for me, sir, then thank you.

Let us spare us a thought for old London;
For a hour of joy she's been donned in.
Without German markets
She's lost in the dark: it's
A matter of fun versus fundin'.

Have you heard of Prime Minister Abe
(Whose surname rhymes somewhat with "hobby")?
They say that this nabob
Is no honest Abe, Bob,
Which only only makes harder my jobby.

The Japanese are a grand bunch.
We thought they would come eat our lunch,
But they served us haiku
With raw sushi to chew
And they’re gone though some still want to munch.

There once was a chap from Japan
Who knew not how it all began
But bikes by Honda
Were not for Fonda
And neither was their fine minivan