Great sonnet Robin. I like it.
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Great sonnet Robin. I like it.
Excellent sonnet, Archer! I had planned to write my own obit this round, but I like yours, so we'll go with it. You have hidden talents, there, not just a memory for book titles, but a poet in your soul... good combination!http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezial/Fool/appl.gif
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! PRODUCT RECALL ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
As a result of a tragic incident, it has come to our attention that the tights produced by our company last season have proved too 'tight' for health and cause fatality when worn for prolonged periods of time. If you still have any of these tights in your possession, please return them to our company's nearest outlet for a full refund.
Robin Hood, a young man from Sherwood Forest has been the first, and what we hope to be the last, victim of such an incident. His body found in the Forest two days ago, dangling from a tree branch and the postmortem revealed that he had died of poor blood circulation, which was a result of his constant wearing of the above mentioned tights.
Our company has taken the full responsibility for his death and agreed to offer compensation to his family.
Meanwhile, you can visit our website at www.confidentmenweartights.co.uk to order a copy of our latest tight catalogue.
! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !
Can't...breathe...pelvic regions...are being...crushed...
I love it! Nicely done, Scheherazade!
The Passing of Scheherazade
Hope was the Thing With Feathers
That pearches in the human soul
Until the day there came The Hope Slayer
Named Scheherazade, the lovely and the bold
She set her on her steed in silver armor clad
And bore a sharp fanged spear
And charged howling forth her battle cry
To pierce Hope's brest so near
But Hope could never pearch inside a human heart
Without talons that hold its grip
How often have mankind felt the pain
Each time those clawed feet slip?
So matching Scheherazade's cry with one of its one
Hope flew forth with talons dripping red
The battle was brief for no Slayer of Hope
Can match Hope Lost in the Game of Death...
(smilie by brizco)http://www.smileyville.net/brizco/rip_1.gif
Pen
And tis time, I do indeed write my own obit....
Desecration
The pure, white stone of the temple
belied its age,
for it held within the polished marble halls
the wisdom of the Ancients.
The young man whose duty it was
to guard the tabernacle of the deity
Grey Matter,
performed his task with a learning
far beyond his years,
seeing to it that only the most desirable sacrifices
were burned on the Altar of Knowledge,
to send up a sweet-smelling incense
to the demi-god’s throne.
Then one fateful day a shining daemon appeared,
sweeping down dragon-like upon the hallowed halls,
spreading flame and destruction that scarred forever
the bleached stone of the temple.
It toppled the image of the god Grey Matter,
smashing it into ruin.
And, in one final blow,
It sacrificed the caretaker upon the altar.
Ripping his heart from his breast,
it wrote in blood its own name upon the white wall:
MADNESS—
Jonathan Blade
© 11/24/95
(smilie by brizco)http://www.smileyville.net/brizco/rip_1.gif
OBITUARY: PENDRAGON was found dead this morning of a stab wound to the torso. Apparently, the Lady of the Lake overheard someone referring to her as a "moist bint" and subsequently hurled a sword at the speaker. Unfortunately, she missed her target and impaled Pendragon squarely through the kidneys. Upon examination by a coroner and urologist, Pendragon was pronounced dead and Excalibur was henceforth declared "The Sword in the Stone."
EDIT: Darn, I was going for a double-header. C'est la vie.
Robin and the Deer Patties (to the tune of Cow Pattie)
The Archer had his arrow drawn back
All they way to his keen blue eye
(drum roll)
Out in the clearing was a buck with a real nice rack
Just release the arrow and the buck would die
(drum roll)
Now The Archer was known for never missing a shot
His fame spread the whole world around
(drum roll)
So you could bet anything you wanted there'd been venison chops
On tables for miles around
(drum roll)
But as he set his feet for the final shot
They slipped in something that was lying on the ground:
(drum roll, drum roll)
The arrow came down in the Archer' s heart--
You should watch your feet--you know the chips are down!
(DRUM ROLL)
It was those deer patties, those deer patties,
They're awful small but still enough to make you hit your fanny!
Too bad, Robin Hood. Lost to those deer patties....
(smilie by hypocrite)http://www.smileyville.net/hypocrite/serenade.gif
Once I was roaming near the cemetry, I heard a voice singing this song.
Killing killing killing is all I know
Mercy and pardond never show.
Crual my world is but you
Was the cause of me stopping to
Kill, and be killed by you,
You that I adore and who give
Maening to my existance and why I live.
Pen oh my pen why you betray me
And be killed by thee
Aproaching the grave, I saw the name of my fellow poet Pen. Then I knew it was him dead and singing The Song of the Grave.
With a mighty yelp that seemed to shake the very Earth beneath his feet, Adilyoussef the Mighty swung his triple-sided ax at the red-eyed dragon that stood before him. Alas, poor Adilyoussef the Mighty, he failed to notice that the dragon was merely a decoy, a distraction from the guy with the big gun standing behind him...
"It seems you have met your match, agent... 008..." said Dr. Yes, and fired.
OBITUARY: Sir Alex was found dead this morning after being hit in the head with a meteor labeled "DEEP BLUE" traveling beyond the speed of light. Alas, no Einstein was he, and the Laws of Physics would obey no man but the German Genius himself.
I am very sure you all are sad as I am to announce the death of our dear friend Robin who was killed last night in midnight. He was a very dear fellow and I was going to talk about his age but I'd rather talk about the way he died... He was suddenly killed by a mysterious member of the forum who was desperate in waiting to know Robins age as he was very convinced to not tell till the end of December...now we will never find out how old he was....
I'm curious to know how you came to be the first to know of my death, Kaltrina...hmm...
We're Sorry to inform you of the untimely and sorrowful passing away of one of our very dear friends Robinhood. Sources reveal that this World's greatest archer, while competing with a rubber duck in his bath tub on "who speaks better and fluent rubber duckese" ...aimed a double-sided-fairytale-arrow at the rubber duck, forgetting that the strong rubber might cause it to bounce back.....the rest is history...........:(
We mourn the death of our beloved Kaltrina...flying low in a state of enthrallment, she tragically flew into the middle of the Merryfolk's Archery Range in Sherwood Forest. Alas, our arrows were loosed too soon, and the firing squad was to be Kaltrina's demise.
We also mourn the death of dearest smilingtearz. Her attitude problems and her fury of emotion endeared her to all. Her only call was to be found in the desires of the hearts of others. Unfortunately, the desire of one was for her to be dead.