Printable View
You know, I believed too! :D Why is it I can picture her doing that? And I don't even know what she looks like. All I know is she's a chemical engineer, and I can relate to how a difficult job can make you want to scream.Quote:
Originally Posted by starrwriter
Hey now!! Actually I probably would do it - at least for the gag, not necessarily the days off.
Medical terminology...the best explanations
ANTIBODY - against everyone
ARTERY - the study of fine paintings
BACTERIA - back door to a cafeteria
COMA - punctuation mark
DIAGNOSIS - person with a slanted nose
DILATE - the late British princess
GALLBLADDER - bladder in a girl ...eww
GENES - blue denim
HERNIA - she is close by
HYMEN - greeting to several males
IMPOTENT - distinguished, well-known
LABOR PAIN - hurt at work
LACTOSE - person without digits on the foot
LIPOSUCTION - a French kiss :lol::lol:
LYMPH - walk unsteadily
MICROBES - small dressing gowns :lol:
OBESITY - city of Obe
SECRETION - hiding anything
TABLET - small table
ULTRASOUND - radical noise
CAESARIAN SECTION - a district in Rome
CARDIOLOGY - advanced study of playing cards
CAT SCAN - searching for lost kitty
CHRONIC - neck of a crow
My favorites above. "Dilate" :lol:Quote:
Originally Posted by smilingtearz
@virgil I find all of them funny...but my fav.'s the one in bold! :lol:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~``
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus. When She
noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on
account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more
amused. She moved again and then on her third move he burst out
laughing..................She had him arrested.
Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked why he
acted in such a manner. His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I
couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an
advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins'.
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement,
which
read: 'William's Stick Did the Trick'. Then I could not control myself
any Longer when on the third move she sat under an advertisement, which
read: 'Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident.'
:lol:
The case was dismissed.........!!!!!!!!
and girls just HAVE to read this one :nod:...
God was just about done creating humans, but he had two parts left over and couldn't quite decide how
to split them between Adam & Eve. So he thought he might just ask them.
He told them one of the things he had left was a thing that would allow the owner to pee standing up.
It's a very handy thing "God told them" and I was wondering if either one of you had a preference for it.
Well, Adam jumped up and down and begged "Oh please give that to me! I'd love to be able to do that!
It seems just the sort of thing a man should have.
Please! Pleeease! Give it to me!
On and on he went like an excited little boy. Eve just smiled and told God that if Adam really wanted it so
badly he could have it So God gave Adam the thing that allowed him to pee standing up.
Adam was so excited he just started whizzing all over the place - first on the side of a rock,
then he wrote his name in the sand, then he tried to see if he could hit a stump ten feet away, laughing
with delight all the while.
God and Eve watched him with amusement and then God said to Eve,
"Well I guess your kind of stuck with the last thing I have left"
What's it called? asked Eve
"Brains" said God
:lol:
Eva - A quote from you from another thread.
With all the risque jokes you post, I was somewhat surprised that you are church person. ;) Well, good for you. They don't really contradict each other.Quote:
please pray for a bible sharing community that i and two of my friends from our youth group are starting in our church...hope it worx out well
Prayers for all of you
@ Virgil
Oh..I just forward what i get on mail...
but they're funny aren't they ;) ...that's how jokes are supposed to be... I know this is justification... but every human laughs when tickled right?
and i am a church person...a begginer, but i do want to grow :)
I disagree--I, for one, have trained myself to resist tickling, although my shield is as yet imperfect...Quote:
Originally Posted by smilingtearz
@ Robinhood... are you giving proper training to your shield then?
Ah, therein lies the problem--the only occasions I have to train are when someone in my class arbitrarily tries to surprise me with a tickle, which doesn't happen often.
I wonder if there could be some anti-tickle lotion you could use... just for precaution you know!
:D
Lol, I don't have to be tickled to be tickled... you can just wiggle your finger around the air around me and I'll laugh. My friends call it the "Tickle Barrier" which isn't much of a barrier... lol. Even though at the same time I have this shield... which prevents me from laughing when tickled... so I can always turn it on and off.
Doctors- They kill your ills with pills, and kill you with their bills.
WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW?
SPOILED MILK
WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
FROSTBITE
WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
SANKA
WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS :lol:
WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES?
A NERVOUS WRECK
WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK?
A STICK
WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS?
NACHO CHEESE
It was that time, during the Sunday morning service, for the
>children's
> > sermon:
> > All the children were invited to come forward.
> > One little girl was wearing a particularly pretty dress and, as she sat
> > down, the pastor leaned over and said, "That is a very pretty dress. Is
> it your Easter Dress?"
> > The little girl replied, directly into the pastor's clip-on microphone,
> > "Yes, and my Mom says it's a ***** to iron."
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was
>dead:
> > "How do you know that the cat was dead?" she asked her pupil.
> > "Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move," answered the child
> > innocently.
> > "You did WHAT ?" the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
> > "You know,"explained the boy, "I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it
> > didn't
> > move."