Cold Ale - The Blokes' Thread!

I'll fail in my attempt to keep this short. though every attempt be terse.

I'm still trying to overcome the raw feeling that comes after being whipped by a soft wet noodle. It's merely further proof that I really did stop too many hockey pucks with my head (I had actually before questioned if it had been too many-but now, with the help of my firneds, I know it to be the truth).

I certainly hope that the it wasn't the last jackalope that was eaten by our Texan friend. It hinted at a Magnum Opus of a haunch, and if it truly were the last of the breed, unshared, would be a folly. I only ever came across one of those magnificent beings in Wyoming.

Should I say please before I ask someone for directions on how to phrase/insert a previous quote? How about the using the smilies? Or should my words be sufficient?

Son of mine from Houston offered me a gift card to a bunny ranch for Christmas. So-so funny, didn't laugh my *** off, though he knew the offer was jocularly intended. I told him I had something more expensive in mind.

For the lfe of the thread I propose a sporting proposition for winter olympics. Southern hemispherical teams must be given points, spread, odds, since they are playing "out of season". What do you say gents? Intelligent guys from Bemidji (though they probably won't make it to the states' finals) repeat their gold-medal winning performance in the finest of all manly sports-curling?

I don't dare put my hockey ladies up against the New Zealand men's team. It's simply too embarrasing to be done.

Apparently Bemidji is short of a village idiot, as the last one fell off the fence. You have all the right qualities for the position.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

Should I say please before I ask someone for directions on how to phrase/insert a previous quote? How about the using the smilies? Or should my words be sufficient?

Hi, gbrekken.

If you click on the "quote" button which appears at the bottom right hand corner of each post, you can insert the post you want into your own.

If you would like to quote more than one post, then you need click on the button with the "+" on it on all the posts you want to quote and then click on the "Post a reply" button at the bottom left corner of the page.

Hope this helps. If you have any more questions, please PM me.

Oh Jocky you make me laugh, I hate it when I fall off the fence on top of all my oder brothers. Your country has a gold medal winning curling team?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

Oh Jocky you make me laugh, I hate it when I fall off the fence on top of all my oder brothers. Your country has a gold medal winning curling team?

Brevity at last. You are right though we are crap at everything, apart from wife rustling, boozing, picking fights and enjoying genial conversations. Especially ones with multiple literary allusions interspersed with horse manure. Goodnight Gbrekken. Welcome aboard :)

Being welcome is not even something my eight older brothers granted me. I'm always brief, just long-winded.

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

Son of mine from Houston offered me a gift card to a bunny ranch for Christmas. So-so funny, didn't laugh my *** off, though he knew the offer was jocularly intended. I told him I had something more expensive in mind.

:lol:

Too cheap? Were they Chinese?

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

For the lfe of the thread I propose a sporting proposition for winter olympics. Southern hemispherical teams must be given points, spread, odds, since they are playing "out of season". What do you say gents? Intelligent guys from Bemidji (though they probably won't make it to the states' finals) repeat their gold-medal winning performance in the finest of all manly sports-curling?

We're like the Jamaican bobsled team.

Just without the speed, finesse or good looks. (or John Candy)

Quote:

Originally Posted by gbrekken

I don't dare put my hockey ladies up against the New Zealand men's team. It's simply too embarrasing to be done.

Surely we don't have a team at the Winter Olympics? Our hockey players play on grass - they'll get killed!

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Especially ones with multiple literary allusions interspersed with horse manure.

Sounds like a luncheon I went to last week!

ANTHEM FOR DOOMED YOUTH

What passing bells for those who die as cattle?
Only the monsterous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifle's rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.
No mockeries for them from prayers or bells,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,-
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What candles may be held to speed them all ?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of good-byes.
The pallor of girl's brows shall be their pall;
Their flowers the tenderness of patient minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing down of blinds.

As a bloke to whom poetry has as much meaning as a cloudy day, I am strangely touched by Wilfred Owen. Dulce et decorum est has always been one of the few pieces of poetry not written by Dylan Thomas that I actually like.

With the Doomed Youth, I find it funny that almost 100 years ago, the fact of kids dying in war was the issue, while now there are no wars for non-volunteers, kids try as hard as possible to kill themselves.

It all confirms what I've thought for a long time - we need more wars!

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

As a bloke to whom poetry has as much meaning as a cloudy day, I am strangely touched by Wilfred Owen. Dulce et decorum est has always been one of the few pieces of poetry not written by Dylan Thomas that I actually like.

With the Doomed Youth, I find it funny that almost 100 years ago, the fact of kids dying in war was the issue, while now there are no wars for non-volunteers, kids try as hard as possible to kill themselves.

It all confirms what I've thought for a long time - we need more wars!

It is the old lie Atheist ' It sweet and fitting is to die for ones country ' . Testosterone has a lot to answer for. Throw it all in rewind and think back, were we any different ? We have a duty to our kids to keep them out of the meat grinder, unfortunately I have no recollection of listening to my old man, except when trying to empty his wallet. Your right we do need more wars and if my neighbour does not cut his hedge repercussions are imminent.

Comformation:
The country IS going to the dogs. First the Cold Ale Club is over run with females, then one turns up flying with the Red Arrows! What next? Is there any remaining bastion of maleness to retreat to?

(note to Jocky: quips about the state of her cockpit would be in very poor taste)

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

It is the old lie Atheist ' It sweet and fitting is to die for ones country ' .[/QB]

That's it!

I think that's the day I realised war was unbelievably stupid. I was about 11.

Still can't figure out why everyone else doesn't see it....

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

Testosterone has a lot to answer for. Throw it all in rewind and think back, were we any different ?[/QB]

I was. I've alwys been an outcast on the fringes of society.

Strange, but true!

:D

Quote:

Originally Posted by jocky

We have a duty to our kids to keep them out of the meat grinder, unfortunately I have no recollection of listening to my old man, except when trying to empty his wallet. Your right we do need more wars and if my neighbour does not cut his hedge repercussions are imminent.

:lol:

If hostilities break out, I'll know what it was.

Quote:

Originally Posted by prendrelemick

Comformation:
The country IS going to the dogs. First the Cold Ale Club is over run with females, then one turns up flying with the Red Arrows! What next? Is there any remaining bastion of maleness to retreat to?

Funny you should take that line..

With all the focus on men's health, men's mental issues, the takeover of male bastions and depilation creams for blokes, I'm about to blog that "Men are the New Women!"

:rolleyes:

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Funny you should take that line..

With all the focus on men's health, men's mental issues, the takeover of male bastions and depilation creams for blokes, I'm about to blog that "Men are the New Women!"

:rolleyes:

:lol: Well, in that case :banana::banana::banana: I do hope there's no hairy backs that want depilatory cream:sick:
Is anyone serving tea and some of those nice paste cakes? Ah, and here comes Mrs. Jocky, sit right here dear; the boys are throwing us a party...they say the Blokes thread is missing a "women's touch".

Now, we stand for some occasional female company, but if you start inviting wives along, there will be trouble!

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Atheist

Now, we stand for some occasional female company, but if you start inviting wives along, there will be trouble!

We were all having such a nice time until gbekken brought in those strumpets from the bunny ranch; Mrs Jocky jumped over the bar, fast as lightening, hit one over the head with a bottle and began to mud wrestle with the other.
Last thing I noticed, that little effeminate author (the one who did that whole diagnosis of Richard III from the Shakespeare play) jumped on top of the women, trying to pull them apart, got knocked out and all four went off in an ambulance. I'm trying to make up my mind whether I'll stay and have some of that Kahlua and Bailey's mix, or hitch a ride with Pappaya head.:(