If you were a...

Baloo :D

If you were a novel, what genre would you belong to?

Mystery

If you were a character in a mystery, what would your name be?

Hercule Poirot

If you were a murder in a mystery novel, what would be your weapon of choice?

Dry ice

If you were a victim, what motive would be used against you?

Sheer rage and frustration

If you were a detective, what would be your opening question for a witness?

Why are you wearing a tutu in broad daylight in middle of the street?

If you were wearing a tutu in broad daylight in middle of the street, what would your answer be?

My alternate personality must have taken over again - I blacked out.

If you were a tutu - what colour would you be?

Black (or slate gray)

If you were the brother to the person in the tutu, how would you explain it?

He's gay - deal with it ;)

If you were a pair of shoes, what kind would you be?

Gladiator sandals, probably.

If you were a profession, which one would you be?

A juggler. . .cue the circus music!

If you were an bodily injury, which would you be?

Broken knuckles.

If you were a fish stuck in the suction-y filter thing of your tank, what would you do?

Die

If you were a season (in a particular area of the world), what season and in what location?

Winter in London

If you were a city, what would your main attraction be?

A zoo.

If you were a lie, who would tell you and would you be about?