I think it's moved past "patch" as it's now about 20 years long.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Dante
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I think it's moved past "patch" as it's now about 20 years long.Quote:
Originally Posted by Big Dante
Anybody up for a game of fitba ? Cricket! zzzzzzzzzzz. The offside rule will not apply due to current controversy over gender interpretations of the laws.
There was an old pundit called Gray
Who considered female refs easy pray
He never turned off his Mike
And was told to get on his bike
The result, he is now left with no pay.
The Lady in question is a teacher in a Coventry school. She did well running the line on saturday in the Premiership. There was a question over one decision for offside, but the replay showed she'd got it right.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
It's just a matter of time before the dinosaurs are flushed out.
I too find cricket to be ... zzzzzzzzzz.....zzzzzzz.....zzzzzzzz
Sacrilege!
I see there has been some fallout over comments made about a female referee. I'm guessing her offside interpretation differs from what the commentators [think they] saw?
They were commenting before the game. They didn't give the lassie a chance - foul I call it. Andy Grey may have been a good footballer, but he's an old git now.
I like most sports...
Not good.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
The Bears appeared drowsy having just emerged from hibernation as they entered the forzen steppe of hallowed ground known as "Soldier Field."
Cutler's Achilles knee played a key role in the slaughter of Bear meat by the meat packers from Green Bay.
Atlas in the form of Urlacher can only carry a team on his shoulders for so long, but as the slaughter wore on, he too succombed to fetid stench of rotted "cheese heads".
Oh yeah, the "superthingy" (Super Bowl), will be played soon next month.
Sounds like the makings of another play...?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Just kidding
.
Nay - a sporting play would be good.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Thank goodness for that. I had visions of a cricket commentary going on till the end of time. You are right about the controversy. Andy Gray the top commentator and analysist of English football made a right ricket, basically saying that a female official was incapable of interpreting the offside law. Well join the club as I don't understand it, referees don't understand it and I guess the majority of football fans don't understand it. Mrs Jocky, however, has no problems with it at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Nah, my next project is a remake of ' The Creature From The Black Lagoon ' in colour. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
a play on "sporting" women?Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
I have the perfect one.Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
http://www.poetseers.org/poets/john_betjeman/love_song/
Why don't men like women officials?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I remember the only time I got close to a fight playing soccer was when my first wife was referee and pinged the opponents for offside and they started giving her a very hard time about it.
They quietened down a touch when I pointed out that if it continued, someone would be needing a stretcher.
Yeah, most women are good sports!Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
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Originally Posted by Paulclem
Without looking, I bet that's J.Hunter-Dunn.
Here's the linespersons song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k7K4jH7NqUw
That is right and proper as he is the man in black, named Sue.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
You're right.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
It's something to do with the general inner attitude to women that comes out in irrational and embarassing outbursts. I've met a lot of blokes who just can't see women being beyond their own limited views. It's an odd kind of arrogance that's based on too many outmoded and false assumptions that they've never questioned and which turn out to be highly embarrassing when they surface. They give us good blokes a bad name - and we all know that we carry the cans for the sins of our fathers, uncles, brothers etc etcQuote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
You're dead right!Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Problem is, as we said a couple of weeks ago, thanks to women going for the bad guys, Darwin ain't going to get rid of them anytime soon.
God, the sins of our fathers and brothers, the tax burden of our children and grandfathers, my shoulders are getting more rounded daily!
I works both ways though.
I'm a Man therefore I can't multitask, I don't do the washing up correctly, I even somehow manage to open the curtains in an unsuitable manner, and of course my flu is is just an excuse to lay in bed.
It's the sins of our species mate congealing into the everyday harassments that we have to put up with.Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
Now the multi-tasking myth is our revenge -they assume our lack of co-ordination/ aplomb at completing tasks/ laziness/ low IQ/ complete disregard for what the neighbours think/ neglect of family near and far/ lack of psychic ability and intuition etc etc means we can't multi-task - so we don't and thus have an easier time of it.
Just think if they believed that we could!!! We'd be getting double doses of work
even talk of cricket beats the latest rounds of self-flagellation, etc. sorry for the pervasive, subversive nature of such influenza. in the old wild American West a "sporting" woman helped a man fulfill his natural (e)mission in life. :-))
Good God guys, are we on a collective downer ? Financial woes, women troubles, manflu, (e)missions (or the lack thereof) and Soundos went awol. The only good news is Charlie Sheen has been admitted to hospital after falling headfirst into a case full of cocaine. This state of affairs must cease forthwith and good news must be the order of the day.
p.s The price of Glenmorangie has just went up again. :(
Oh god, now we really are doomed!
Does anyone else find it ironic that the price of illegal drugs goes down, while the legal ones are ever-increasingly taxed?
Yes, It is time you spoke your mind Gbrekken. In English would be helpful. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Well it is January. The fun and frolics of Christmas are over, and the bills are now coming home to roost, whilst we trudge wearily uphill to Spring. It's still cold, prices are going up, the sales are ending, and the daily grind keeps on grinding.
I though - (due to me being simple according to my wife) - am incorrigibly cheerful. I was grinning when i wrote the last paragraph. Who says misery in't funny...at times...
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Originally Posted by jocky
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Originally Posted by The Atheist
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Originally Posted by jocky
About the only positive bit of news I can offer is to tell you that I am sipping on some Wild Turkey with Ginger Ale on the rocks.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
Jocky's right; where is Sounds?
.
My guess is shacked up with a nice man!Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
Hope that's the case.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
For heavens sake Paul! Think of your roots. We Yorkshiremen are supposed to be dour and grim. Where would we be if everyone was cheerful all the time?
Haha :frown5:It's inverted cheerfulness - cheerful when it's grim, grim when it's cheerful by reminding people of the inevitable grimness to come..Quote:
Originally Posted by prendrelemick
You translated me perfectly Jocky. Even American (English) can sometimes be understandable. Poor Charlie Sheen/Harper--who's playing which? Is this a case of life imitating art? Sheen thinking he's Harper, who can do no wrong, nor suffer consequences if he did? I guess 2+ million per tv episode might mess up my thinking. Maybe Two-and a Half Men can start having Charlie's tv character go into rehab.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
An Englishman wins the Australian Open tomorrow for the first time in decades--YEAH!!
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Originally Posted by gbrekken
Oo-er! where's Jocky
Oh dear.......Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
If you look out your kitchen window you will see an unmarked van with black tinted windows. Step slowly back fom the window, make no sudden moves and under no circumstances answer your phone. :)
is that before or after his vicTORY? :)Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
Just goes to show that insanity is a valuable commodity in Hollywood.Quote:
Originally Posted by gbrekken
I have booked the tickets on block. The whole cast of the Blokes Thread are on our way to L.A in the morning. :party:Quote:
Originally Posted by The Atheist
Fantastic. The Ga Ga Crew go to LA on an away day.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I'm all for leaving the frozen steppe of the north, but do we have to go as far as L.A.? How bout stopping just east of LA at Death Valley National Park. I need a moment to thaw out. -
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi..._Valley_NP.jpg
From Wiki -
"Death Valley is the hottest and driest place in North America because of its lack of surface water and its low relief. It is so frequently the hottest spot in the United States that many tabulations of the highest daily temperatures in the country omit Death Valley as a matter of course. On July 10, 1913, a record 134 °F (56.7 °C) was measured at the Weather Bureau's observation station at Greenland Ranch (now the site for the Furnace Creek Inn)"
.
I'd much prefer cooler. I get sunburnt if I stand for too long after opening the curtains in summer.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
We have had a whip round in Scotland for Andy Murray and we have bought him a one way ticket to Death Valley. Thanks for the idea Gilliatt. Our national humiliation continues.Quote:
Originally Posted by Gilliatt Gurgle
I'm exactly the opposite.Quote:
Originally Posted by Paulclem
At the height of summer, Indians come up to meand say "Namaste".
I think we might have to start appling the choker tag to Andy Pandy. Three finals, three straight-sets defeats.Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky
I feel for you, mate - I thought he had a good show and placed my money accordingly.
:party: Just got back from partying with the fellows at Chippendales...am I too late to hitch a ride with the Blokes?Quote:
Originally Posted by jocky