Picture Poetry Contest (...continued...)

http://static.freepik.com/free-photo..._19-133045.jpg

A Latter-day Jean Valjean

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JP31L6AhB3M


Tracked down by technology - the very technology he
had craved betrayed him; dourly he imagines himself
a latter-day Jean Valjean with a wry sense of honor
Time was always against him he realizes; every moment
spent with his purloined gains - broadcast in real time


Real time in another sense, he sighs, wasn't to be his fate -
the owner desiring only precious scriptures and a lesson
prepared on the stolen iPad; forgiven: the shattered glass
window of the family car, the few odds and ends of leftover
July 4th fireworks: the con-issues of the nonfrontation


Safe, almost invisible, he buries his face in his hoodie -
all but hands and feet protected from the elements by a
rain cowl; shame hidden in the anonymity of the streets:
shame for the crime, and being caught, and not being able
to back up his bluster in front of a father with his children

7/8/2014

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

-Withdrawn-

It was pretty bad, and I won't be around again for a long time :)

Nice picture though, it offers a lot of possibilities.




Enjoy.

Time's Up!

YesNo: I loved this line: "I look inside his robe. Where did he go?"

Dark Muse: love the closing stanza: "But in the end
he may just be another charlatan
carved from stone,
a fork-tongued devil,
who promises infinity on his left hand,
while the right hand strips you of everything "

dara.cy The words in italics really make this poem

tailor STATELY: Love these lines: "all but hands and feet protected from the elements by a
rain cowl; shame hidden in the anonymity of the streets: "

There can only be one winner, and I chose dar.cy! You're upnext! Congrats!

I had taken a hiatus from this site for awhile. Due to some recent bouts of loss I found myself seeking solace in poetry. Just so happened that you posted the most appropriate picture for my mood these days. Thank you Pendragon.

How about Due my birthday, August 5th

Attachment 9329

Who's Counting?

Hundreds of reasons for staying on top,
But looking below I'd like to drop
Down to the center of my serial spin,
Reimbursing my soul all over again.

For there in the middle so far below,
The beginning of earning this life that I know,
But somehow between the first and the last
I'll gather the bundles that make up my past.

Then slowly I'll start the uphill climb
For it matters not, I have the time
To linger upon each step that I mount,
Hoping that I have made it all count.

Spiral stair of money,
Black hole waits below
So tiny we can’t see it:
Why stop now? Let’s go!

Like a dream that's filled with riches
Like a wealthy spiral stair
Flowing bills that seem unending
Floating strangely in the air
They hover fast and hover faster
Giving just a tantalizing touch
Greed is like a cancer
But you can never have too much
Thousands of Bens are what you find
In the windmills of your mind

Pendragon
(C) 7/20/2014

and she's buying

the stairway to heaven
prolly isn't
paved with Benjamins;
the antithesis far likely so -
spiraling down with good intentions
a perdition bound
treasure ladened
ever malapropos

8/1/2014

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

Thank you all for the submissions, Im not an English major or well learned in writing so I hope my critiques still hold value for each of you.

Tailor Stately: Strong message conveying that money is inherently evil and no good can come from it; as suggested in my favorite verse: "spiraling down with good intentions". I have always believed myself that charitable acts far outweigh charitable contributions. Reads well with a powerful voice.

Pendragon: I love the whimsical rhythm, it adds an hypnotic element to the dreamy visual cues of spirals and windmills. "Greed is like a cancer, But you can never have too much" Love this line, befitting to the concept but seems to stand out in an awkward contrast from the rest of the poem.
Seems the ending is incomplete and could've continued, which makes the whole seem to reoccur in its own whirlwind.

YesNo: lol, No fear of the unknown here! Love how free-spirited this is.

and lastly the winner:

Ampoule-I just love the breath and depth of the metaphors/analogies here. This conjured so much meaning for me.
The first stanza questioned the efforts of accumulating wealth,status, etc as indebted to the nature of the soul. The second seemed to realize the person's life is not only valued by all the years of their own "earnings" but by those who "paid" their way from their birth. The third sums everything up to the hope that their life is lead in a worthy way.
I love how even if read without the original picture in mind this poem would still strike the reader to think about what has brought value to their lives. LOVE!

Thanks again everyone!

Congrats, Lady Amp!

Congratulations ampoule; and thank you dara.cv.

Ta ! (short for tarradiddle),
tailor STATELY

OMgosh! Thank you so much. I was so in hopes that the poem could stand alone without the picture and you answered that for me. Your critiques were just fine. I hope I can do as well.

Sorry it took me so long to get back. I will search for a picture, pronto.

How do you attach a picture so that it shows here? Thanks. Well, I couldn't get it to work. Sorry. I do hope this picture gives you inspiration. Can't wait to read your poems.
Deadline: August 30

ampoule is that a portrait of someone in particular? a writer?

Actually it's an award winning photo of my grandfather.