Hm... I saw kathy... she was by my secretary.. She has to wait in purgatory...[the waiting room of hell]... Well... I hope she doesn't feel too bad... She's only number 269... [now serving number 12]... hehehe...
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Hm... I saw kathy... she was by my secretary.. She has to wait in purgatory...[the waiting room of hell]... Well... I hope she doesn't feel too bad... She's only number 269... [now serving number 12]... hehehe...
Quote:
Originally Posted by shinigami
Since purgatory isn't actually a waiting room in hell, I am ok with that. ;)
So how did Mil meet his demise? No worries, I will take care of the both of you... *laughs dementedly*Quote:
In Roman Catholic theology, Purgatory is a process of purification of the soul after death. It follows "the particular judgment", and is ordinarily a requirement before entry into Heaven.
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h5...leys/bizar.gif
Shini and Mil went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
Shini fell down and broke her crown
and Mil came tumbling after.
What is the lesson we have learned here? Drink bottled water!
What??? Oki...
Um.. Sure.. let me think of something better for our DEAR kathy here... Let meplot out..
To the PBM... Kill Kathy....
hah!
"finally kathy's dead.. and noone'll ever come to know what happened... wait let me hide this gun that fired turnips.. uh it's heavy! .. she asked for it" muahahaha..
~evil laugh~
We stood there.. Me and her.. holding hands and she.. she looked at me...
I was crying.. a tear came down hiting the fresh gravel.. ..
I looked down and the pain struck my heart again.. there it was laying before me.
And there she was.. looking at me With a Smiling Tears in her eye..
I fell to my knees as she let go of my hand leaving me there on her Grave looking at the little tear.. Smiling at me from the ground....
A lament for Weeping Willow.
willow got swept into an alternative universe, where willows are viciously hunted down and ... well, suffice it to say, this place doesn't have any willows left. As the only witness to this tragedy (having been swept away myself) I shake my fist in the air and vow revenge!!!
Here is where we first met.. there near that old oak..
And there is where we lay down on the grass letting the yellow sun to warm our hearts..
And there was when she stood in the rain.. waiting just for me...
And now.. all that's left is this little square of turnips..
And my memory of Kathy....
I Received a jacket with a turnip inside.
It's a sicilian message, Willow is sleeping with the turnips now.
It's been nice knowing you Willow, not to worry, you will be avenged.
Le mort de turnip:
Aimus, our dear friend. He went to that big turnip patch in the sky, dispatched there by an evil veggie queen.
All hail Kathy!!!! Grand high poobah of dispatching turnip headed young men named AimusSage ;) :lol: ;)
The turnip turned up, up, up...way up! If you look to Paradise and squint, you can just see that speck looking over the edge of the pail in the soul carrier's hand!
Multiple Ghost Sighting
Whateverville:__________A local man reports seeing a crowd of specters near here yesterday at sunset.
"I were passin' th' auld cem'tary ahind of th' auld Mil' place, when I seed a thin ghostie feller dashing crost th' bloomin' road! Fair gave me a fright, it did! Then, shave me 'ead and call me Baldy ef thar wharn't a 'ole bloody crowd uv 'em, roight ahind uv th' foist 'un!
"'Ere, ye git yerself back ter yer grave, twinty-fer", they sceeches, loike a bloody banshee! They vanishes in th' fog an' I 'eads t' th' nearst pub! Needed some strong stuff, I did!
"Naw, I ain't drunk, ner crazy."
The, ah, gentleman's story was confirmed by more reliable witnesses, so we believe he saw something. Then there was the footprints in the road near that old gaveyard.... :nod:
The person above me died in a fierce battle with one of the knights of Camelot. He was squashed with a dragons foot.
No one stirs and all are still
Gazing with amazement to a strange body
Strange but of human it was
Yes was for the sool left it already
Crached may be or squized who knows?
For it's split into parts, and steady
Froms it takes from time to time
And no one knows whose that body
"May be the above would answer" I thought
Till I discover he's the one who lost that body
Mistery is his death and I still wonder
Why his death is like nobody's
Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December,
And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.
Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow
From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for lost adilyoussef
For the rare and radiant youth whom the angels name adilyoussef
Nameless here forevermore.
Quoth the raven: adilyoussef bought the farm.
but who listens to ravens anyway?
Morte De Kathy
Kathy wrote her last obit,
In a charming parody of verse.
But the last time that I saw Kathy
She was riding in a hearse
Because she could not stop for Death,
His carriage stopped for maiden fair.
The jet-black horses drew them both
Off to who knows where
Death is not a unfair Lord,
All are treated equally.
You yourself may not have time for Death—
But Death will make time for thee.
So sound the knell of iron bell,
And drop a tear from your redden eyes.
Here's to the ones already dead:
And here's to the next one who dies...
http://www.theempire.com.au/images/2...0Tombstone.jpg
Pendragon
Now we mourn our dear Pendragon
He fell off of a turnip wagon
He broke his wings in a thrice
Now who could say such a thing was nice????!
It ended, that game of walking the bridge - Kathy reached the other side, and Eternity thrives as if ever new.
It has begun, Kathy's cheering shouts:
"This is the place to be - I beckon thou toll-payers, summoning you!"
Mil was transported to the American Old West and insulted some guys in a saloon by calling them "yaller bellied varmints". Needless to say, the incident ended in a "neck tie party" for ol' Mil.
http://i61.photobucket.com/albums/h5...ileys/hang.gif
This aforementioned time warp also sent Kathy into the past, where the people of Salem, Massachusetts also hanged her during the infamous witch trials, her modern clothing being plenty of evidence that she was in league with Dark Forces... http://www.clicksmilies.com/s0105/spezial/Fool/vis.gif
All were hanged but one
Standing there gazing with amaizement
But the truth was then
That the deads live and he lies on the pavement
Soul separated from body like a sudden
Watching people uttering the old testement
Adil, Mon Ami: A Lament
We looked for our friend in the evening
As the sun burned bright gold in the West;
In our hearts we knew the truth and were grieving,
Knowing that our friend had finally found rest.
He had wandered through life looking for something
And as the stars began to gather in the skies;
I raised my head and said "Don't let it all be for nothing!"
And I couldn't keep the tears from my eyes.
Someone called to me, "Come here, we've found him."
But my heart told me that he was no longer there.
I walked over to see the looks on their faces were grim.
And I had them all join me in one final prayer.
Where we buried him is a secret that we share with no one.
For our friend is really never alone... and never really gone
Pendragon
Pendragon's Lurgy.
Cause: hot weather
Symptoms: dementia, water retention, winking
Cure: none.... :eek2:
Well, dear Pen, they will at least name this illness after you.
Some days ago, I was asked to a wedding party. A party it was but will be no more. The bride turned to a corpse by a magical spell. Body without soul, Kathy was then. A man with fear, her husband flew. It was strange for the witch who threw the spell was the same who suffered from it.
A Poet's Murder - Morocco In Black
Adilyoussef, the most famous poet in Morocco was sitting under the tree when Salman Khursheed, another poet came and shooted him. It is reported that Salmabn Khursheed was jealous of Adilyoussef's fame and so planned to kill him but Morocco's police caught him doing the act though sadly, doctors were unable to save Adilyoussef. People in Morocco are in dark and are wearing black clothes to mourn his murder.
May he rest in peace!
The Mockingbird flew in search of leaves of gold & dashed against the Great of China. She died on the spot. We regret her loss.
Great Pensive. I'm sad for my being killed.
But Shakira was still young
And people over her grave mourn
Their mourning echoes like a song
In heaven repeated with a tone
She was very merry and joyful
But that before her life was taken
Taken by a fierce and hateful
Jerk than made hearts broken
A devil man broke her neck
And smiled like an insane
So sory all are for her
That her life ended by a man without a brain
Don't be sad, you are up again. :pQuote:
Great Pensive. I'm sad for my being killed.
Adilyoussef goes in search of treasure but never returns home
Adilyoussef's wife told that Adil had gone missing. He went in search of treasure to Karakoram ranges a month ago and had not returned since. Many people searched for his dead body but were unable to find it. It is difficult/quite impossible to find a single dead body in the big Karakoram ranges so people are quite sure that he is dead by now.
May his soul rest in peace!
Who Killed The Mockingbird?
The people of the LitNet gathered round,
Each head was solemnly bowed:
And Detective Scherlock said "Now I'll be bound,
The killer is here among this very crowd!"
At that one and all protested long and loud,
"It was not me!" "I dinnae!" "Watch it, Holmes!"
The mockingbird lay in her shroud,
Rigor Mortis stiffened to the very bones.
"I still will say," Scherlock continued to proclaim,
"That the killer is watching proceedings even now!
I shall trap this villain, or Holmes is NOT my name;
For justice must be served! And this I vow!"
But the Dragon quietly typed up his manuscript—
And silently laughed—for he knew he'd gotten away with it...
http://www.cosgan.de/images/smilie/tiere/e025.gif
Pendragon
Pendragon's encounter with Death
Ladies and Gentlemen, today we are so sorry to announce the d--dea-eath of Pendragon, a treasure to LitNet. The story goes like:
He was sitting there, reading a novel and suddenly his pet, Dragon Nomi came and tore him up that Pendragon did not take care of Dragon Nomi's son Dragon Tomi and so a witch attacked Tomi and murdered him. Dragon Nomi, who was mourning his son's death came to his boss and murdered him in revenge.
Due to a strange accident involving improbability and aerodynamics, we regret to inform you that Pensive has fallen to death. All the molecules of air accidentally gathered away from under her wings so it became impossible to fly. Since Pensive liked to fly high, the fall was lethal. She will be missed.
Taliesin, our dearly departed.
Taliesin left this vale of tears after being set upon and whacked over the head with a bag of marshmallows by a self resurrecting woman and an ill tempered dragon. Said dragon is now being sought by Litnet members the world over and will be punished severely for this transgression. I will not, er I mean that woman will be dealt with as well...
:goof:
Kathycf sentenced to death...
On 1st of June, Kathycf was accused of stealing the unique photo of Mona Lisa. Police caught her in the act and so Kathycf was sentenced to death.
Poor Kathy, it was just a photo...
The computer just swallowed my post! *sniff*
-It was long, but to shorten it a little and give you the main gist...
Pensive, our dear forum member of almost 4000 posts, has departed from this world.
The authorities declare that her energy was finally exhausted after 7 years of ceaseless flying, and she fell into the Atlantic Ocean where she drowned.
(I will not tell you about the penguin who fell in love with her the previous year during her flight over Antarctica, or about the small boat that had tailed her for the past five months, or about how her body, which was supposed to have been lost, was found in a crystal coffin in a deserted chapel on the bay of Majorca, or about how the same small boat that had tailed her journey was secretly anchored on the rocks twenty metres away from the chapel, or about the revolver in the small boat, or about the strangely-shaped footprints that the cleaner found in the chapel when she was sent by the government to clean it up. I will not tell you how frustrated love can twist and contort. I will not tell you of the Passion of the Penguin. I will not tell you, since I do not know, that the penguin secretly worshipped Pensive as the sea breeze came whispering in through the window of the small brown chapel. I will not tell you how the better part of the penguin regretted it...)
Miss Darcy - Victim Of Hill
I am very sorry to inform you guys the death of our beloved, Miss Darcy. She was trying to be the King of the Hill but then I (Pensive) became the King Of The Hill and this depressed Miss Darcy a lot. She had no other choice but to commit suicide. Poor Miss Darcy, If I would have known that she was so much emotional about hill, I would have given it to her... Atleast she would not have been dead now... :rolleyes:
http://www.doc.ic.ac.uk/~kpt/terraqu...ns/0513.32.gif
Pensive's Passing
Heya! D'ya miss me? Shaddup! About dis here Pensy moll, youse know, da one what fancied penguins? You want I should shut yer pie-hole fer ya or what? Huh? Here's a tip, dis dame ain't comin' back dis time. Kinda crossed up de wrong moll and dat moll grabbed a typewritter and rat-tat-tat-tat. Capisce?
Just t'ought ya might wanna know. We gave her da woiks for a funeral, all nice and flowery. *Sniff* Gonna miss da little boid. Hey, what ya lookin' at, Mac? Ya like them pretty teeth? Ain't gonna look so good, ya keep starin' at me like dat, capisce? I done my duty. Let's get outa here, boys.
Desertedly Ghost Versus Amazon Ghost!
Pendragon, Desertedly Ghost was jealous to see Amazon's ghost and so he prepared to fight him with an army of ten other ghosts but Amazon's ghost who was a ghost of great understanding was already prepared for an attack and had already arranged an army of hundred ghosts. The war began and Pendragon was murdered by one of the soldiers in the army of Amazon's Ghost. Pendragon will be immensely missed. We will never forget his merry songs and sonnets...
May his soul rest in peace!
That should be "Dastardly Ghost", Pensy, m'dear! And I do tire of Auld Arrow at that. Hummm.
Unlucky Pen went swimming 59 minutes after eating his lunch, when everyone knows you are supposed to wait an hour...
Shoud'nt sneer at those old pearls of wisdom, Pen. :brow:
Kathy, the undying undead, shriveled into dust when she realized that she had made a grave, (chuckle), error. It was a cryptic, (snicker), miscalculation. She had written an obituary for the wrong person. Yes, our dear dead undying lady proved to be mortal, (hee), after all. The next in line for an obit was dear Pensy, not Pendragon, who had popped by for a comment. Kathy was, (haw), mortified to discover this monumental, (chortle), mistake on her part and so departed. Her last words were "Well, I never..." She will, of course, pop back up. (Hee-hee) They always do when they are done—in. (rimshot!)
Pendragon tries to be Poirot
LitNet Members, we are very sorry to announce the death of Pendragon...
The story goes like this: In his neighbourhood, a woman was found murdered. Pendragon tried to investigate the matter but sadly the murderer also killed Pendragon and left the note that whoever will try to investigate the murder of that woman will be fed to fishes.