There once was a lymerick writer
who'd buried his wife, just to spite her.
Though he owned no discrace
at his untimely haste,
he was hanged and inhumed right beside her.
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There once was a lymerick writer
who'd buried his wife, just to spite her.
Though he owned no discrace
at his untimely haste,
he was hanged and inhumed right beside her.
Her death didn't free up his life.
They hanged him, because of the knife
And they buried him next
To the lady who vexed
Him the most to spite both for their strife.
I know this was posted literally 9 years ago, but I choked on my own spit while reading this and then laughed for 10 minutes straight. Does anyone know where this emily girl is? I have to press charges against her for cracking my funny bone :D.Quote:
Originally Posted by emily655321
From Russia to France he sent texts
From all of walks of life he had sex
He thought it a rumor
That he had a tumor
And sang while he banged, then died next
--
Wow, that was lame. Heh, I'll try harder next time. There is a first for everything, right!?! :D
Sometimes the lamer the limerick the better. I enjoyed it.
Here's one with the "lass" rhyme that emily used and with reference to the orbs from the Bigfoot thread:
There once was a classy young lass
Who displayed an outstanding round ***.
Other orbs she'd parade
Through a blouse that was made
To conceal not one gram of the mass.
I love Limericks I was writing them while drunk the other night.
Billy was a helpless nerd.
He used many a big word
Till he said epic
At his oat breakfast
Hercules made him eat turds.
I once had a lovely clone
One day we were home alone.
It made me die
Then it was I
Now I wrote this poem.
There was once a cat called Shantz
He had many uncles and aunts.
They fed him penne
One noodle too many
Poor Shantz he shat his pants.
The UFO floats like a bird
And the noise that our sharp Billy heard
Could be creatures from Mars
Or the twinkling, bright stars
If that honking were more like a word.
There once was a lady who said
She'd rather wake up and be dead
Than marry some guy
Who made good ladies cry
Unless she got wealthy when wed.
There is a young lady from Brest,
(That's in France if you hadn't guessed,)
A popular girl,
with many a curl,
And in her home town she is blessed.
There once was a meme to inspire
The markets to jump ever higher:
"Buy it now! Don't miss out!
What a loser!" No doubt,
One will lose when those markets expire.
In the oncoming lane was a Texan
Veering towards me like he was a textin'
That guy had some nerve
Made my Honda swerve
Barely missing natural selection
There once was a king whose excess
Confronted his poor peasants' stress
And when he asked for
Just a little bit more
His head rolled and made one last mess.
The monarch's death was inglorious
We joyful peasants victorious
The king was betrayed
By math I'm afraid
'Cos there was just a bit more of us
The peasants were happy and said,
"We're so glad that our good king is dead!"
They were giddy all day,
"No more taxes to pay!"
Then democracy taxed them instead.