Embarrassing

Because I have had many people saying good things about me recently, I've decided to make my ego abseil down that mountain it's trying to ascend.

So here is an embarrassing story about Atiguhya Padma:

One day, in the mid 80's, AP was invited to a Hindu religious ceremony in a home in Hounslow, West London. The place of worship was a long lounge, one of those made out of knocking down a wall between two rooms.

The place was packed. In the bay window of this room was the dais, upon which was sat the Indian guru, Swami Pernau (sp?). In deep meditation.

The first thing I noticed was the amount of really beautiful young women in the room. As you do. And I was still admiring the views, when the ceremonials got under way. I thought to myself, these women are probably impressed with this solitary white male face in the audience.

Transfixed on this absolutely gorgeous girl a few paces away from me, I failed to notice a bowl being passed between people on my right. From the corner of my eye, I thought I could see someone raise this bowl to their face. Before I knew it, it was passed to me. Well, I didn't know what to do with it, so I put my hand in the bowl, that was full of what appeared to be a watery kind of yoghurt, and started dabbing this stuff all over my face. I figured maybe that was what I had seen people doing. As I did this, people started looking at me in avid curiousity. So, I guessed, this wasn't what they were doing after all.

They must have been drinking it then. So I raised it to my mouth, and gulped down mouthfuls of the stuff. It was certainly a yoghurty substance, rather funny taste though. After a few gulps, I noticed the growing audience looking with horror upon me. Someone quickly grabbed the bowl from me and it went on its way. Later I found out, that the yoghurt was used to anoint the feet of the guru, and then passed round to the congregation, who're supposed to just dab their fingers in the yoghurt and touch the centre of their foreheads.

I failed to impress any of the women in that room that day!

So does anyone else have any embarrassing stories they want to share?

LOL, yuck!

Okay, I'll share.

During the course of a work day, I was instructed to go to a place called Marla's Books to pick up some books ordered for my place of work. The small city I live in has three known bookstores. Maybe this place was new, a used bookstore that orders special orders, I thought. I arrived at the building, a house on a residential street, with a huge sign, Marla's Books, and signs indicating thay take Visa, Debit, etc. I contemplated the look of the place, wondering, if I just open the door, will I see a bookstore inside? It is not unknown to have a bookstore in a house. The appearance of the place led me to believe that I could just open the door and walk in. So, I opened the door, expecting to see a bookstore, instead, I saw a home. A lovely home it was, equipped with a man standing down the hallway, in his kitchen, looking at me crudely.

"Uh, Hello" I offered with a bright smile, feeling terribly awkward and embarrassed already.

I said I didn't know whether to just walk in or ring the bell.

He replied, "It would have been nice had you rang the bell".

I explained who I was, where I was from and why I opened his door. After an explanation, we were laughing at the situation and he commented,

"It's a good thing I hadn't just come out of the shower and walking around naked, although I wouldn't have minded."

I was outta there quick!

I was once invited to a hindu gathering in Hounslow, West London. They were passing around this bowl of the Guru's foot annointing stuff and I didn't much care for it so much to the chagrine of the good looking hindu girls there, I whipped out my junk and dropped it in the bowl! I thought I was hot stuff until this idiot drank it and smeared it on his face!!!

There are some very witty people around here.

kik is pretty funny. :)

<I was once invited to a hindu gathering in Hounslow, West London. They were passing around this bowl of the Guru's foot annointing stuff and I didn't much care for it so much to the chagrine of the good looking hindu girls there, I whipped out my junk and dropped it in the bowl! I thought I was hot stuff until this idiot drank it and smeared it on his face!!!>

So it was you was it!!??:) And now I've finally caught up with you!!:)

Geez AP, I check out your profile and no wonder you know so much things..he..he he..you're 40 yo :D

Oh no. Now you've revealed my secret...:)

But hey thanks for looking at my profile. I understand it's better from the left side rather than face on. Or so I'm told!:)

I will never eat yoghurt again.

Actually, one of my most embarassing moments - I have several - was at work. As newly employed neuropsychologist I´m asked what size my white coat should be. I answer. -No thank you, I do not need protective clothing.

They think I made a political statement, and never raised the question again.

I just did not realise that evrybody, even the secretary uses white coats. I just thought that they had made a mistake when they offered it to me.

So now we are a clinic in white. And me. In grey wool sweaters.

The same week I also said:

I really like my new chairs, but what I really want is a plastic brain, the kind the doctors have.

Ooops.

I meant a plastic model of a brain.

I have more but I won´t tell you. :-)

I think some doctors have plastic brains! Hee hee.

I wasn't embarrassed at the time, but I certainly blush to think of it now, when I was in the seventh grade, I was interested in trying different hairstyles. I pulled the top half of my hair into a ponytail on top of my head and then wrapped a stretchy cloth headband around it. The headband was so big that I wrapped it all the way round the length of my hair, but it stuck up on my head. The ends of my hair shot out of the "trunk" so that it looked like a palm tree poised on my head. I proudly walked around school all day enjoying the attention. What a wierd child I was!!

Thanks for sharing that with us Shea. It did make me laugh. There was a footballer (soccer player to those in the US) that used to play for in the English league, that had the nickname pineapple head, for his outrageous hairdo. Maybe your influence extends further than you realise.:)

:D Maybe I was trying to be a trend setter, I can't remember.

Oh my gosh Shea, I did the EXACT same thing when I was in seventh grade. I'm not even trying to make a joke. Dead serious. I called it my gonk.

I once ran into a wall, I wasn't paying close attention to my surroundings and I was chasing my dog, when the dog veared suddenly, I failed to realize why the dog swerved until... smash, right into a garage, I went unconsiouse for a little while, and still have a dent in my skull to this day, its rather small, but it is noticible.

Stanislaw,

That's really funny. I did almost exactly the same thing when I was about 15. I had just seen my team lose horrendously, something like 5-0, and it was an evening match. I walked out of the ground with thousands of others, my head following the familiar trajectory of the depressed, when the suddenly the masses parted, and I went smack into a lamp-post! It woke me up to the more immediate problems in life - like pain and embarrassment!

Oh dear. you make such mistakes sound infrequent, I do similar things almost everyday:( ! Although in the case of Stan's story, it was the otherway round for me. The dog ran smack into the lampost, she was dizzy for ages and funny to watch.

deja vous.

I felt pretty silly after that stunt, maybe thats why I am the way I am today.:D

I never realized so many people did the same thing. Doesn't make me feel so dumb

I did it too Stan. Only for me it was inevitable. Almost every woman on my mom's side of the family had broken one of their two front teeth. I did it by tripping on the carpet (in the school hallway no less) and running into the wall. I was a snaggletooth for about 6 weeks.

OK I’ll bite. I’m generally way too insecure not have long since blanked all those painful memories from my mind, but a few of ‘em refuse to be repressed.

So, I’m this young teenager and I’m trying to impress this girl. That’s how these things usually get started isn’t it? I’m just a piker from out in the sticks but I’m puttin’ on airs and trying to act sophisticated and I decide to invite her to the local Philharmonic’s production of Dvorak’s New World Symphony.

We get all dressed up and head out to the show. I, of course, select a seat right down front so that we can see all of the action. I was so taken by orchestra’s performance in the first movement that I decided to lead the audience in a standing ovation. The last note of the first movement was still hanging in the air when I leapt to my feet and began wildly clapping my hands. I may have even yelled “bravo” a couple of times. Well, it didn’t take me too long to figure out that I was performing a solo. My date, being wiser than I, kept sinking lower and lower in her seat.

For the next three movements of that tune I could literally feel the crowd’s eyes boring holes in the back of my skull.

They really should brief you on this sort of thing in the program notes.

At that point I pretty much switched exclusively to Rock-n-Roll. Those people admire and even encourage boorish behavior.

I really appreciate your story Sancho. I make a point of never being the first to clap in a classical concert. I once went to see Jan Garbarek and the Hilliard Ensemble perform Officium in St. Paul's Cathedral in London with a friend who was a big Garbarek fan but knew nothing of choral music. I, on the other hand, loved choral but knew nothing of Garbarek. My friend was anxious to know the protocol regarding applause. I was very tempted to misinform him, but, luckily for him, I didn't make him go through what you experienced!

AP

i can't beleive i am doing this. alright, i am speaking to a crowd of people and i am wearing a cordless mike attached to my jacket. i present my ideas to everyone in the gymnasium, and then present the next speaker. as he comes up on stage, i shake his hand, exit the stage and run to the washroom. as i get in there i step up to the urinal and see a good friend of mine at the urinal beside me. he tells me that i gave a great speech, and comments to me about this beautiful woman who was sitting in the front row. of course, i agree and begin to babble on about how beautiful she was, when someone flys into the washroom and tells me that i left my mike on and everyone in the gymnasium was enjoying my compliments of the beautiful lady in the front row. needless to say i was talk at the evening diner.

Sancho and psycojones:

Wonderful :)! :D! :)!

Thank you so Much for sharing. I never used to know when to clap, and have nearly always managed to find the person I'm talking about in my blind spot, at the crucial moment when I say something I would 've prefered they never know. (Aargh...)

I nominate,

psycojones,

for the 'most embarrassing moment award'. :D :D :D

Actually, psyco, your not the only one who's done that. Thankfully though, it's not me. I went to a workshop and the speaker had no problems sharing her similar story with us. But she wasn't chatting about the handsome man in the third row. Just the loud sound of her tinkling echoed through the auditorium!

I've heard similar stories of public speakers, but the best was from Joyce Meyers, an evangelical speaker, she went to the changing room and got her dress snagged on something and got all tangled up with her dress over her head, she just finished talking about Jesus and here she was swearing at her dress and walking an assistant through trying to get it unhooked from her bra.

i am glad you enjoyed. now maybe someone can give me a good character discription.

of who???

OK, I had so much fun with that first one, I’ve gotta do another. Probably breaking the ROE for the thread with this story but years ago my better-half told me one of hers that I still laugh about whenever I think about it. If she finds out about this I’m in deep kimchi. But what the hay, it’s a real knee-slapper.

So anyway, she’s right about at the “training-bra” stage in her life and has just discovered the magic of make-up and hairspray when her family decides to journey from their home in the high desert of California down to the Universal Studios Theme Park in Hollywood. One of the things they do there is put on some small-time stage productions with mostly audience participation.

Her family selects seats high in the back of the amphitheater. Before the show begins she swings by the loo to adjust her face and make her hair bigger. Well, as she’s climbing the steps to her seat let me tell ‘ya she’s got it goin’ on. -- She’s sashaying up those steps with all the class of a ten-dollar hooker. She’s too self-absorbed to realize that she’s the center-stage attraction and unbeknownst to her she’s got a mime shadowing and exaggerating her every movement.

She gets to the top of the stairs, turns around and sees the mime, throws her hands in the air and screams. The mime, silently of course, does the same thing.

-----And the crowd goes wild.

I've always been a keen long distance walker, and when the foot and mouth disease hit the UK, I decided to take up cycling, as I couldn;t use the footpaths that year. Anyway, as a result I started doing charity bike rides. One of which was the London to Windsor. The pub group that I was doing this with consisted of about 20 riders in groups of four. In my group, the other three were all older than me and looked less fit. However, by the time we reached the halfway mark, I was feeling pretty knackered, whilst these other guys seemed fighting fit. They were typical macho guys. We stopped for coffee outside this pub, and sat around one of those typical outside pub bench tables. Everyone was opening their cartons of cream, and I seemed to be struggling. Concerned that someone might notice and consequently take the p***, I decided to open my carton below the table so no-one could see. Struggling with this, the other guys all sitting opposite me, must have wondered what I was up to! Before anyone could say anything, the carton finally came open and cream burst forth everywhere. I looked up in horror, to see two of the guys with spots of cream all over the faces!! To which one of them asked me what I was up to down there. I laughed off my embarrassment with the other cyclists

Needless to say, I was the butt of several jokes after that.

OK, here goes: When I was 6 my mother decided I needed to learn how to swim, so she signed me up for lessons at the local high school.The first couple of lessons went fine, however on the third lesson I somehow forgot to put on my swimming trunks before leaving the change room. I didn't realise until I was about about to get into the pool, and heard all of the schoolkids laughing at me from the other side of the glass partition. End result was I refused to go back, and I still cant swim.

I can't think of any stories at the moment... which is weird, since disaster is my middle name... Now I hardly ever take any initative and prefer to pass totally unobserved, as I had so many embarassing moments as a kid...

I do on occassion go down to georgian bay (johnon's beach area). I have taken to just sitting there studying though, far less strenuous.

When I was in about seventh grade I went to the drinking fountain and I had a mouth full of water and my friend said something funny, consequently all the water shot out of my nose and onto the back of the principle who was walking by. I don't remember what happened after that, probably torture and whipping, maybe death by rat (I have the potential to have been reincarnated).

Eheh lol, that happens to me all the time... golden rule: don't make me laugh if I'm drinking!!!

Thanks to Kilted Exile, just discovered this thread and thought we should revive it!

Here is one of mine... Right after university, I found a job at an Embassy as PA to the Ambassador, which required me to attend all the meetings with him and translate... It was all very formal but also very glamourous for a newbie graduate like me; needless to say, I was very pleased with myself.

During one of my first high level meetings, the Ambassador was visiting a Minister and I was translating... After couple of minutes, I noticed the funny looks people were giving me and suddenly realised that instead of translating things into English, I was simply repeating them in my native language. The smug expression on my face disappeared in less than a second as you might expect...

lol that's terrible! though it sounds like a great job! but u got me curious now...what is your native language??? is it a secret? i wanna knoooooooow ;)

it was this year, i got dared to send a teacher an email..well lets just say it ended with a dirty pic and me NEARLY having federal charges pressed against me..it was the suickest thanksgiving ever!!!orange

What's the most embarrassing thing that happened to you within the last thirty days/ month.

I horribly mispronounced phenolphailin (sp.) in class. phenophlaling... :eek:

Probably yesterday...when I said something to my co-workers and thought that it was a new thing for them....