A Little Bit Of Humour # 275

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 425

Peter Piper picked a peck
Of pickled peppers
Very interesting I’m sure, but what
Was he picking at beforehand?

ARE YOU WEARING A POINTY HAT?

Are you wearing a pointy hat?
And you don’t get fed up with that
When they ask about your wizard hat
“Does your head reach the top of that?”

I PREFER THE MORE ROMANTIC VIEW

I prefer the more romantic view
Even if it’s not scientifically right
That the stars in the nocturnal sky
Are holes in the curtain of night

THERE MAY HAVE BEEN SOME DOUBT

There may have been some doubt
As to his allegiance to the club
Denoted by replica shirt and shorts
But no such doubt existed in regard
To the authenticity of his jock strap
As we all know what that supports.

JEZZA CAME CLOSE AT THE LAST ELECTION

Jezza came close at the last election
There’s certainly no doubt about that
But that was then, but now he’s gone
From Corbyn to Hasbyn in no time flat

ON THE JOURNEY THROUGH MARRIAGE

On the journey through marriage
There is inevitably a little strife
But I would say as a general rule
“A happy wife means a happy life”

I USED TO HAVE A TINY LIZARD

I used to have a tiny Lizard
He was really small and cute
I used to call him Tiny,
Because he was “my newt”

I RAN THE CAKE STALL AT THE VILLAGE FETE

I ran the Cake stall at the Village Fete
Charging 50 pence per bake
Well that’s not exactly true
I charged more for “Madeira cake”

WHEN MECHANICAL PROBLEMS OCCUR

When mechanical problems occur,
Preferring to be on the ground
Wishing you were in the air
Is a philosophy that’s sound,
Compared to being in the air
Wishing you were on the ground

MY SON ASKED WHY I SPOKE SO QUIETLY

My son asked why I spoke so quietly
While at home and I responded brightly
That China were listening and he laughed,
So I laughed, and then our devices laughed

I FORGOT TO GET BUNS ON THE SHOPPING

I forgot to get buns on the shopping
And when I got home my wife had a fit
But she soon calmed down as there’s
No need to get Hot and Cross about it

I HAVE A LITTLE RIDDLE FOR YOU

I have a little riddle for you
If you would like to play?
It has two eyes and smokes
Give up? – The answer is Pompeii