A Little Bit Of Humour # 269
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 419
Mary had a little lamb
And she loved that lamb a bunch
But she wasn’t sentimental
So they ate it for Sunday lunch
MY WIFE MADE ME GO CAR HUNTING WITH HER
My wife made me go car hunting with her
As we have a family she wanted a People Carrier
And the trip went okay until I upset her
When I said that every car was a people carrier
I LOVE BRUCE WILLIS MOVIES
I love Bruce Willis Movies
But I have been barred
My wife told me to stop
As our marriage had been marred
So I tried to wean myself off them
But Old habits Die Hard
THE MARIJUANA DILEMMA
If the long held supposition or dilemma,
That the side effect of smoking marijuana
Can cause short-term memory loss, is true
Then what does smoking marijuana do?
LIVING ON THE ISLE OF WIGHT
For many, life isn’t very bright
Living on the Isle of Wight
It’s very much, the have nots
Outnumbering the have yacht’s
COMPLETELY OUT OF THE BLUE
It came completely out of the blue
When my girlfriend broke up with me
Because I was addicted to pasta, she said
So at the moment I'm feeling cannelloni
INPROPPER JOKES
You can always spot when a risky joke is coming
Homophobic, Sexist, Racist or something bolder
And that’s because it begins, everytime without fail
With one or more glances over the tellers shoulder
I’M GOOD AT CHEMISTRY AND I’M FUNNY # 1
I’m good at chemistry and I’m funny
Those are my only talents, so far
So when I was asked if I knew
Any jokes about sodium, I replied Na
FAMILY SUPPORT
The only people who want to see me
Succeed, are my family
Everyone else sees me as competition,
And that’s the reality
ACURATELY DEFINING BIGOMY
Having one wife too many
Accurately defines bigamy
But having said that, in my case
So does monogamy
MY WIFE BOUGHT ME A QUILTED COAT
My wife bought me a quilted coat
Which I avoid wearing whenever I can
And that’s simply because it makes me
Look like a deflated Michelin man
I DISCOVERED MY FAVOURITE DUCK WAS SICK # 1
I discovered my favourite duck was sick
So I called for the local vet to attend
On arrival the Vet soon reassured me
And it was a simple Mallardy in the end
