A Little Bit Of Humour # 268
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 418
Jack and Jill
Went to the clinic
Because they were
Both quite unhygienic
WHY DID THE CHICKEN NOT CROSS THE ROAD
Why did the chicken not cross the road
And choose instead to commit suicide?
It seems to me to be the wrong approach
If he just wanted to get to the other side
I DON’T BELIEVE IN TRADITIONS
I don’t believe in traditions
I have no time for them
And neither did my father
Or his father before him
LIVING ON MARTHA’S VINEYARD
For many, life is quite hard
Living on Martha’s Vineyard
It’s very much, the have nots
Outnumbering the have yacht’s
BILLY NO MATES
My wife has left me
And taken the children
All our friends
Have abandoned me
And taken her side
Then when I put on
The Television set
The show that greets me
Is the Lonely Planet
THE AMAZON BASIN
I was surprised to find
My wife was interested
In the Amazon Basin
But it turned out to be a fad
As she became disinterested
When it arrived broken
IT WAS A ONCE IN A LIFE TIME TRIP
It was a once in a life time trip
That the site suggested you buy
However the trip was to Dignitas
But I suppose the advert didn’t lie
ENTERTAINMENT THESE DAYS
Entertainment these days t is nothing
But sex and violence, it appears to me
So is it really any surprise that I don’t
Have the time to watch films or TV
BUTTON MUSHROOMS
Button mushrooms
Are really not for us
Because we prefer
Humongous Fungus
HE IS OF VERY NOBLE LINEAGE
He is of very noble lineage
Dating from the 11th century
And is so posh he considers
The Royal’s to be new money
I OVERDOSED ON FOOD COLOURING
I overdosed on food colouring
I thought I could have died
But the Doctor reassured me,
Though I dyed a little inside
I WROTE A SONG ABOUT A TORTILLA
I wrote a song about a Tortilla
And it was really crap
But I should say in my defence
It was more of a Wrap
