A Little Bit Of Humour # 267

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 417

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
As he was horny
And she took the pill

IT WAS FOGHORN LEGHORN’S BIRTHDAY

It was Foghorn Leghorn’s birthday
And he celebrated with his mates
When they threw him a great party
And served up his favourite coop-cakes

I APPROACHED THE WOMAN IN THE BOOKSHOP

I approached the woman in the bookshop
“I want a book on Turtles” I told her
And she responded “Hardback?"
“Well obviously they’re hardback, duh”

I DON’T KNOW EXACTLY WHAT OBE STANDS FOR

I don’t know exactly what OBE stands for
It’s one of those honours list pleasantries
But it would seem that if you’ve got one
You were a child molester in the Seventies

I STILL FERVENTLY BELIEVE IN SAME SEX MARRIAGE

I still fervently believe in same sex marriage
Because there has been a disparity for gay people
Which in the 21st century is totally unacceptable
They deserve to be as miserable as straight people

I DON’T THINK ANY OF US CAN JUDGE IMMATURITY

I don’t think any of us can judge immaturity,
It’s from parenthood some prejudices stem
So no one should be prevented from having kids,
But most shouldn’t be allowed to name them

MY UNCLE IS A GREAT CAT LOVER

My Uncle is a great cat lover
And he’s always been a smashing bloke
But after he came to visit, my cat
Is recovering from a massive stroke

I REALLY HATE MY JOB PASSIONATELY

I really hate my job
In fact I have to confess
I hate it with a passion
My boss says I don’t possess

A MAN STOPPED ME IN THE STREET

A man stopped me in the street
Which alarmed me from the start
Demanding I apply for a donor card
He was a man after my own heart

I GOT THE SACK

I got the sack, to my sorrow
But I still have to go in tomorrow
All though I don’t want to enter
I did work at the Job Center

I'M RUBBISH WITH NAMES

I'm rubbish with names
I can’t help it a bit
It’s a proper condition
There's a name for it...

PEOPLE WHO SELL MEAT ARE DISGUSTING

People who sell meat are disgusting
Even if it’s halal or kosher
But then I’ve heard that people
Who sell fruit and veg, are grocer

Those last five are such great fun. Thanks!

I liked all of them. Good laughs!

Thank You Ekimhtims

Thanks Dreamwoven