A Little Bit Of Humour # 266

21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES # 416

Jack and Jill
Went up the hillock
He proposed then she
Called him a pillock

WOMEN WILL DRESS UP TO GO SHOPPING

Women will dress up to go shopping
And for doing chores and errands too
Whereas Men will dress up for Weddings
And funerals, but only if they have to

DAREDEVILISH # 3

Some activities in life
Since time began
Build your self-esteem
Like no others can
One such activity
Of which I’m a fan
Is sharpening pencils with a knife
As it makes me feel like a man

ADVERSITY MAKES FOR STRANGE BEDFELLOWS

Adversity makes for strange bedfellows
Is how they put it proverbially
But in my house estranged bedfellows
Makes for a good deal of adversity

BETTER TO REMAIN SILENT AND BE THOUGHT A FOOL

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool
Than to speak and remove any and all doubt
I wish I had heard that proverb before I spoke
Keeping quiet would have been a very good shout

ANYONE WHO ACTUALLY BELIEVES

Anyone who actually believes
That cheats never prosper
Have never seen defenders
Preparing to defend a corner

AN ARGUMENT ABOUT THE TARDIS

An argument about the Tardis
Kicked off and wouldn’t quit
It started small, but got bigger
Once they properly got into it

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT MY NEIGHBOUR

I cannot believe that my
Next door neighbour
Is a self-harmer
She's so vile there
Must be queue of people
Willing to do it for her

MY GIRLFRIEND WAS STRIKING IN APPEARANCE

My girlfriend was striking in appearance
With a face like a rare Chinese thing
Like a classic vase from a great dynasty
Was it Yuan, Liao, no it was Ming-ing

MY LAST GIRLFRIEND TREATED ME

My last girlfriend treated me
Like a piece of meat
That’s because she was a Vegan
And refused to touch me

MY WIFE WAS INVITED TO GO

My wife was invited to go
On a girls' night out recently
The invite said “dress to kill”
So she went as Myra Hindley

WE ALL HAVE A SKELETON

Let’s be honest we all have
A skeleton in the cupboard, or two
But some people let theirs
Walk the catwalk for the public to view