A Little Bit Of Humour # 238
IF CLERGYMEN CAN BE DEFROCKED # 3
If clergymen can be defrocked
Can a promoter be demoted?
Should writers be described?
And musicians be denoted?
THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO SUBSTITUTION
There is absolutely no substitution
Or for that matter an easy solution
For a genuine lack of preparation
WEEKENDER BENDER
George left work early one Friday
And went out with the lads, on a bender
He finally got home to his unhappy wife
On Sunday night after a boozy weekender
After hours of *****ing and moaning
His wife asked him a simple question
“Would you like not to see me for three days?
“Very much” he said without hesitation
He didn’t see her at all on Monday
Nor did he see her on Tuesday and Wednesday
After the swelling had begun to subside
He could see her out of one eye on Thursday
PREMATURE FALLASY
Premature ejaculation is a myth, a fallacy
Or more appropriately it’s a phallus-y
Ejaculation is only premature for a woman
Because it’s bang on time if you are a man
THE EXITED STATES OF AMERICA
The exited states of America
Have an upcoming election
And a Trump victory will make
The united states of aggression
MY WIFE DROVE HER FIRST HUSBAND
My wife drove her first husband
To shoot himself in despair
But she only drove her second
To the bottom of a bottle to be fair
SUICIDE IS PAINLESS, ACCORDING TO THE SONG
Suicide is painless, according to the song
I think it’s supposed to be a witticism
But I have always thought of suicide
As the most sincere form of self-criticism
CHANGING SCHOOLS
Things have certainly changed
Since I was a boy at school
No one carried drugs or knives
Not even the dumbest fool
Any search of pupils in my day
Would merely have resulted in
The seizure of a handful of fags
And the confiscation of a catapult
IT IS A SAD FACT OF LIFE THAT IS # 2
It is a sad fact of life that is
Inherently unfair
If there are four ways
In which a thing can go wrong
A fifth way will occur
BODY IMAGE
I am not perfect
My figure is not the best
Some bits I really hate
But I do quite like my breasts
I have flabby thighs,
Which I would happily condemn
But fortunately my stomach
Obscures the view of them
