A Little Bit Of Humour # 177

A MAJOR FIRE CAUSED PANIC

A major fire caused panic
And was causing great harm
It was in the aroma candle factory
So things soon became calm

I REGULARLY DONATE BLOOD

I regularly donate blood
So I feel I’m doing my bit
But for some of the donor’s
It’s like self-harm for a biscuit

SHE SAID SHE WAS A BUSH DOCTOR

I completely misunderstood
But then I was a bit pissed
She said she was a Bush Doctor
So I thought “she’s a gynaecologist”

CHAMPAGNE TO YOUR REAL FRIENDS?

Champagne to your real friends?
And real pain to your sham friends?
Well that’s Not my idea of friends

I MISUNDERSTOOD ABOUT PPI

I misunderstood about PPI
And I really feel such a fool
I thought you got it if you didn’t
Wear your goggles at the pool

WHEN WE REACHED CRUISING ALTITUDE

When we reached cruising altitude
As we headed for another continent
The cabin light dimmed to enhance,
The appearance of our flight attendant

FOR MY POOR DELUDED FATHER

For my poor deluded father
The men in white coats beaconed
He thought he was a chocolate orange
So now he’s been sectioned

I CAN’T COUNT TO TEN IN FRENCH

I can’t count to ten in French
It’s impossible for me
I can only count to seven
Because I have a huit allergy

JOLLY

To be politically correct
We must call fat people, jolly
And the really fat people
Have to be called morbidly jolly

MY UNCLE GOT CAUGHT STEALING AGAIN

My uncle got caught stealing again
It’s an occupation hazard by and large
This time it was luxury toilet rolls
And he pleaded quilty to the charge

I've wondered why they dimmed those lights in the airplane. Initially, I read "jelly" for "jolly" which I suppose is just as politically incorrect. I probably should get some of those aroma candles before the factory burns down.

Thanks YN

Terrific. I am going to pinch a few of these. Will you be expecting royalties?

Huit allergy... (Neuf, neuf !) Dix is funny !!!

Thanks ennison,

Only if you get some.

Ha ha, thanks Tailor