The Terrorist Testicle Talks about Hemorrhoids, Herpes, & Correct English Grammar
The Terrorist Testicle Talks about Hemorrhoids, Herpes, & Correct English Grammar
by Wolf Larsen (the Grand Orifice I mean Oracle of the Terrorist Testicle)
I sometimes find herpes sores all over my spaceship, which is very patriotic-red-white-&-blue-Christian-religious-fast-food-restaurant for me — gesundheit!
Sometimes, when I’m out with my wife at a swingers party with Michelle & Barack Obama & Gloria Steinem & Jerry Falwell & his mother (all of us in a twin bed together doing an erotic painting & a literature WOW!, I remember how lucky we are in this great nation of ours to have toilet paper! And tanks! And bombs! And born-again Christians — lots and lots of born-again Christians with our tanks & bombs & toilet paper!
Hooray for toilet paper!
The church choir sings: “toooooiiileeet paaaaapper!!!!!”
One nation under God, indivisible, and liberty & Justice & herpes for one out of every six Americans!
I feel so blessed when I see those herpes sores on my penis!
The church choir sings: “feel so blessed! Yes! I feel so blessed with the herpes sores on my penis!!”
And that’s when I chase a naked fat Elvis Presley across the presidential politics of the grand buttocks of the great ukulele of the greatest fast food commercial of all time — and that would be yippeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
Sometimes, when I’m sitting by the fire — like one of those fires back in the 60s when the blacks burned down their neighborhoods — when I’m sitting by a great fire burning in the ghetto I think of fornicating hamburgers made out of postmodern art. I think of a sexy black Marie Antoinette in the White House, and all the things I can’t say because there’s literary censorship and I’ll get banned!
The church choir filled with fat black women & a few gay black men sing together: “literary censorship! You’ll get banned! Can’t write what you want to write! Because of literary censorship!”
Yes, literary censorship! Literary censorship with your Queen of England on the throne doing a number two on the Internet with lots of singing circus clowns surrounding her, and you can see that kind of stuff on social media, but might get banned if you write about a lesbian fantasy involving the Queen of England and the first lady of the United States on a literary site so why bother with literary sites when social media is so much more “permissive”?, (Maybe if literary sites weren’t so sterile they wouldn’t be slowly dying to social media... Although I’m not necessarily talking about this particular literary site... And of course this lesbian fantasy of mine involving the Queen of England & America’s first lady occurs in a bedroom filled with thousands of rotting hamburgers and millions of rotting fish and chips because I absolutely love the Great Creative Anus of Salvador Dali!
What are your thoughts reader?
The church choir sings: “your thoughts? ! Your thoughts? ! Your thoughts reader? !”
Copyright 2015 by Wolf Larsen
