There's pants, and then there's trousers...
He wore these green pants.
Similar in colour to that of mould found dotted around on rotting bread. Although to him they weren’t pants at all, they were in fact trousers because he was an English gentleman – and that seems to make sense in more ways than one.
He spent most of his day in his green pants. Well not pants as in trousers, because he was English.
He in fact spent most of his day in his green underwear, his same favourite pair which he happened to wear most of the time when he happened to put on his trousers. And those trousers were also green in colour, but this green closely resembled that of used and discarded beer bottles always found loathsomely abandoned in parks, roadsides, and derelict buildings.
His pants and his pants, or for this Englishman, his trousers and his underwear had a relationship far beyond that of any other matching garments.
Although are pants and trousers, or underwear and pants, or pants and pants, or even in this particular instance underwear and trousers said to be matching garments at all?
He would say.
“Socks and underwear are matching garments.”
And he would go on to say.
“They’re on offer all the time, and I’ll tell you why."
He was talking to one of his work colleagues, and they weren’t at work.
Over time these two individuals had learnt much about each other, and they had bonding to a degree where on one brave occasion, the trousers and underwear Englishman felt obliged to put forward a question to his pants and pants American work colleague, whilst they were talking and bonding, funnily enough at work one day.
And that question was something along the lines of.
“Think we should go for a pint after work my dear friend, we’ve never socialised outside of work, and I’d like to buy you a pint”. Stated the Englishman.
So here these two work colleagues sat, in a dreary old pub called ‘The Tavern’ just a few miles away from where they worked. And we can obviously assume that the pants and pants American accepted the invitation for a pint.
“Socks and underwear are matching garments, they’re on offer all the time, and I’ll tell you why.” The honourable underwear and trousers Englishman declared after gulping down a rather large sip of his flat, questionable beer.
“You see my friend, when you buy socks, you inevitably think of buying underwear.” He continued.
“I think socks and pants sounds better than socks and underwear”. Expressed the American, whilst holding his pint up to the light, determining whether or not there was a foreign body in it.
“It’s all to do with how you get dressed”. Said the Englishman.
