"Gone"--and good riddance!

I know I make fun of HBO for its propensity to use over-the-top "adult" language, but usually the offerings on that cable channel makes subscribing to it worthwhile. Usually.

Based on a best-selling novel, Gone Girl is making the HBO rounds a few months after its theatrical release. I watched it with anticipation that I would enjoy this movie, but no.

Except for a couple of witty bon mots fired off by the feisty police detective (Kim Dickens), the banal dialogue is as flat as a midwestern wheatfield. The plot goes out of its way to twist, if not contort itself into a knot, yet the effect is as stale as last year's pretzels. You can see where it's going before anybody in the movie does. Even so, the events are so preposterous that the odds of their happening in Real Life are about the same as yours fooly being drafted to run for U.S. President in 2016. The story strikes me as something an eighth grader might have dashed off before sitting back to wait for praise from his teacher, which she'll do as soon as she finishes handing out participation certificates to the rest of the class.

Rosamund Pike, the girl who's "gone" in the title,inexplicably received an Academy Award nomination for her role in this picture. One thing you can bet the rent on is that if and when she does win, it will be for a better film. And what's up with Ben Affleck? He was so good early in his career (Good Will Hunting, Clerks) and in recent years brought to the screen fine fare such as Argo and The Town. Well, just like Major League Pitchers, every once in a while an ace might have a down day. So I'll forgive Ben this time.

It might be too mean to say that this movie is a waste of time. Suffice it to say that it represents two and half hours of my life that are completely "gone, Girl!"

I saw "Ex Machina" last night, a movie devoted to the notion that robots are sexier than actual people. When the robot (Ava) is played by Alicia Vikander this is not as unlikely as it seems, especially if the viewer is turned on by flirtatious bedroom eyes, perfect posture, and a see-through body revealing mechanical innards. Unfortunately for me, I've never been turned on by perfect posture, and thus never watch "Miss America" pageants.

The movie involves a billionaire computer guru who has built Ava and has invited one of his employees to his remote fortress (is he related to Lex Luthor?) to see if Ava can seduce him. Since the employee is "into" computers, Ava has little difficulty here, although their flirtation could use a little more sauciness and wit to involve the audience. The billionaire delights in comparing himself to God (for his, or His, creation) and drinking himself into oblivion, perhaps in imitation of Bacchus. Ava, who has become conscious, worries that she may be "shut off". Who doesn't, Ava?

Ava is certainly more likable than her creator, but that doesn't take much. The movie is entertaining, if not memorable or profound, but it is also annoying, ballyhooing itself (as when the rich guy claims this is "the most significant scientific discovery in history"). No need for that, billionaire inventor. Leave such bombast to the comic book super villains.

eta: I didn't mean to hijack the "Gone Girl" thread, AuntShecky. I read your review, and I then thought I was on the "latest movies" thread. Sorry. I've never seen "Gone Girl".

Unfortunately, I saw Gone Girl as well the other night when we got HBO for free in an attempt to get us to subscribe to further $$$ on satellite. I say unfortunately because AuntShecky pretty much tells it like it is... or was. I would have been far better of watching South Park re-runs on HULU.

I think I saw Gone Girl, but I can't remember any more. Based on the AuntShecky's review, forgetting is best.

I saw Gone Girl the other day on HBO too. I liked it. I thought it was one of the better films I've seen from last year. It's currently riding high at 8.2 on imdb, and 88% on rotten tomatoes; so I'm not saying that StLuke and AuntShecky are wrong, but most of the audience and critics are saying that.

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Originally Posted by stlukesguild

Unfortunately, I saw Gone Girl as well the other night when we got HBO for free in an attempt to get us to subscribe to further $$$ on satellite. I say unfortunately because AuntShecky pretty much tells it like it is... or was. I would have been far better of watching South Park re-runs on HULU.

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Or watch "Poldark" on Masterpiece Theatre. "Halt and Catch Fire" on AMC. And if you have "On Demand" -- "Better Call Saul"-- every bit as good if not better than "Breaking Bad," the show which spawned it.

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Originally Posted by AuntShecky

Or watch "Poldark" on Masterpiece Theatre. "Halt and Catch Fire" on AMC. And if you have "On Demand" -- "Better Call Saul"-- every bit as good if not better than "Breaking Bad," the show which spawned it.

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One can't help wondering how the words 'Masterpiece Theatre' could be ascribed to 'Poldark'. Since its original appearence of some years ago it's been long recognised in the UK as an anagram of Old Krap.

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Originally Posted by Emil Miller

One can't help wondering how the words 'Masterpiece Theatre' could be ascribed to 'Poldark'. Since its original appearence of some years ago it's been long recognised in the UK as an anagram of Old Krap.

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Well, you know how gaga we are over here for all things British. Case in point: even the spokesladies for Viagra have English accents, not to mention those of Roman soldiers. (Full disclosure: I stole that joke from Bill Maher.*) Anyway, I liked the old version of Poldark and really love the update. It's a nice companion piece to "Turn: Washington's Spies." Besides, the guy who plays Poldark is a hunk and a half.


*
Turnabout is fair play. He stole a joke from yours fooly back in 1998.