Lost In Mind

Lost in Mind

Chapter 1
Awakening

I awoke for the first time, but things were different. Everything was dark, I was alone, I was lost and adrift.
“Who am I? Where is everyone? How do I get out of this place?”

The silence and nothingness was undeniable. I wanted to scream and nothing came out. I was weak, helpless. There was nothing I could do. Just wait.
And so… I waited.

I began to think. Minutes turned to hours. Hours into days. Days into weeks. Weeks became months. Months dragged on to years.
I was trapped in my thoughts all this time; unable to move, to speak, to see, to taste, to feel. I was lost in my thoughts, it felt, eternally.
I began to construct a world inside my mind. It was the only thing I could do to refrain from going insane. And so I became a creator.
I created my home with a garden. From there I created fields, and trees and snow caped mountains. I created the sun and the moon, and even the stars. From there I formed a school, a town, and even an entire city!

I didn’t stop there. How could I? This was my new life.

I created a nation, I created my own world. It was all I had. It was the only thing I could do. I was trapped in my own mind. I was Unconscious to the world, yet conscious in my own thoughts.
I never could really create people. They would just stand there and not appear real. When I would see them, their faces would change quite often. The faces were faces that appeared to me, perhaps faces I once had seen in my life.
That was until I met a certain unique individual. Someone that would change the way I thought forever.

Chapter 2
Alana

As I was finishing up my first city, I was approached by this unique person. She seemed to have a mind of her own. She introduced herself to me. With blushed cheeks and a pure smile
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, I am Alana.” She said.
I asked her
“Are you real?”
She giggled and told me I was crazy. I didn’t understand. Have I lost my mind?

It has been two years since I have seen the light of day. Since I have fallen asleep in this dark world. I have gone insane. I must have. Yet, she was so real.
She was beautiful. Her long brown hair reached down to her lower thighs. She had gorgeous eyes that were so genuine and kind. I was swept away by them.
Was this girl really here? Was she trapped like me? Or was I just imagining her? I ignored those questions, because this was the first time in years I could feel.
At this point the world had become so real, that I was able to see it, hear it. But I could not taste, feel, or smell yet.

I gained my ability to see roughly 6 months in, shortly after at about 1 year I gained my hearing. But that is where my senses stopped.

But this, this was different. Alana gripped my hand, and said, “Come with me, there is something I want to show you.”
I willfully went, curious about where she wanted to take me.
She took me to a unique place, a place I had never seen. How could this be? I always imagined the things that I created. But this, this was different.
I was standing by a waterfall, with crystal blue water. I felt the mist brushing against my cheeks.
She sat down on a little wooden bench by the waterfall. So I sat down beside her, observing this remarkable place .
I looked at Alana as she smiled, and whistled softly to the birds above. To my surprise the birds sang back to her.

“I… I have never seen a bird in this world”, I said.
This was the first time I have ever seen a bird, it has been two years since I have seen such a beautiful creature. I imagined how I used to feel when I listened to the birds.
At that point I realized something. I never really took the time to listen to them.
I just kind of heard them. Their songs would go in one ear and out the other. I would appreciate it, but not in the way Alana appreciated them.
Who was this girl? How is she taking me to this place? How is it I can feel?

Part of me didn’t care, it wasn’t real. I knew that. But, it still felt real. If something feels real, is it worth it to deny such a thing? What is real? Is not life just thoughts projected through senses?
Everything goes through the mind, does it not? What you see, your brain constructs. What you hear, your brain processes. What you taste, touch, and smell… you guessed it. Your brain is responsible for its perception.
So if this is my world now, I should make the best of it. Whatever the case may be, real or false, at least I felt like I was living. I was learning, experiencing, growing. I was as alive as I could be.

What scared me the most is I knew the real world existed outside of my mind, I knew there were people living real lives. I knew I had a family, and people who loved me. I knew these things.
Yet, I couldn’t quite grasp anything. I couldn’t remember anything, or anyone. I only knew I was conscious, or well, as conscious as I could be.
I wondered for years why I was still alive. Had I been in an accident? Was I in a Coma? These questions I pondered for years. But I have since left them in the recesses of my mind. What purpose is there in asking a question that can’t be answered?
This is the beginning of my journey, a journey that you may never understand. Even so, open your mind and see if you can grasp what I am about to share with you.
You think you are living? That begs the question, “What is living?”