The Writer

The light shone through the window to his favorite room in his expensive bachelor pad. He was typing away at his MacBook Air at a speed which made a trained typist jealous. Plus his mind was so focused he would make an programmer at Facebook weep in comparison. An outsider would wonder if the life he lived was a happy one, or if his genius and famous writers status in life was worth it. However, he kept typing on. His mind was working at a speed now where the words hyper drove onto the next page. In the in between moments, he never questioned his work ethic because he knew what he was aiming towards and most importantly, why.

Two months later. George was still at his desk typing away at the project; a novel entitled "The Writers Remains". He was a third into the story now, everything was flowing nicely. His protagonist "Peter" resembled a lot of himself; the way he looked, they way he thank and mostly how he dealt with his life's obstacles. Peter was a professional writer and had got into a relationship with his editor "Jane". He knew this was dangerous territory as he was convinced Jane was a lesbian, and trying to 'convert' her could cost them their partnership, but it turned out she wanted him too. They fell in love, but the latest book he was writing was what eventually drove them a part because Jane became jealous of the books success. It turned out her editing services were only trying to make Peter fail, not succeed, but it backfired!

George wasn't one for the love stories, but recently the theme made his face light up every time he looked to the air for thought inspiration. Writing was his life, so much so he had been at that desk for three days without leaving it. It was 2am now and he was still writing. George never got big headed about his work or jumped the gun, however he had a good feeling about his latest piece. His heart vibrated with every sentence, the words leaped off the page. As a writer, he was reaching that place all writers know, the finish line to a project some labeled 'heaven'.

It was a coffee shop in Soho, a kind of obscure location where if your eyes weren't wide awake you would miss it. It was also a famous place for spotting famous people, predominantly writers, writing or famous people popping in for a coffee and a chat. George was there typing away at his beloved MacBook Air. He was halfway through the novel now and at the part where Peter and Jane went on their first date. Then Peter got the inspiration to write about a man who choked on a chocolate croissant. Luckily the man didn't die, but Peter's mind was ticking at a quickfire speed as he watched the strange event on the date. The familiar and cartoonish smirk on George's face was visible as he sipped his doubled shot cappuccino.

A lady kept looking over from her position at George. She looked like a writer; sophisticated with her MacBook, her coffee following its rules of being to the left of the machine the way a watch is always on the left wrist! And the busy writers mind. However her head wanted something more; a partner. George saw her only once. Her name was Ava, an Italian with a French name, olive skin, dark hair and an edge of the newly fashionable but ever so annoying Dalston mob. George was making early judgement's, but the lady was attractive. George was a single man at this moment in time, but his mind was only devoted to one thing right now. Perhaps Ava knew he was famous and the reason she kept looking at him George thought. But George returned the eye one last time to be sure of that, and the look he got back spoke "looking to date" rather than "star struck"... Yeah, probably that too!

Peter had published his book now and he was waiting for the reviews. A week later it garnered critical acclaim. With every project, George always began with the end in mind and it didn't faze him knowing how deceitful Jane was going to be. It excited George and his typing got faster, his expression showed he couldn't wait for it to happen. Plus it was nice he had Ava now, she was in the lounge working on her own novel. George swore he wouldn't get into a relationship at this precious moment in his life, for reasons only he kept to himself, selfish reasons but rules he chose to live by. They had been with each other for two months and things were going steady.

Ava seemed at peace. As she worked on her novel on her MacBook she felt very lucky. To her, George was a dream, not because he was a famous writer, but because they were so suited to each other. She had never dated another writer before, but found out quickly how another writer's lifestyle was so similar to hers. She loved the open spaced feel of George's plush apartment, it always seemed so quiet. She was able to work on her writing all day and all night if necessary. But not in the way George did upstairs. She knew his office was strictly off limits to everybody but him, it was one of his 'things'. However the longer Ava was with George the more she questioned his work ethic and lifestyle, but gave him leeway, thinking perhaps that is one of the things which separated a famous person from an ordinary person.

It was a Friday night and George was in the kitchen preparing a Mexican themed dish. He took pride in his meals, he knew timing was the key to successful cooking and added everything at the precise times. His trusted 'cooking clock' was next to the chopping board. It didn't waver his mind that he was spending his Friday night in, the way it had been for the past six months, being the time he devoted to his unfinished novel. He knew he was a hermit. Then Ava walked into the kitchen dressed for an important looking night out with the girls, a fine sprucing up than her usual East London trend assortments.

"I am off honey with the girls" Ava said.

George looked at her slowly and his silence was somewhat uncomfortable suggesting Ava's comment was almost inappropriate.

"I am cooking dinner for us. I thought we were going to stay in" George replied.

This was the same routine for the past four months Ava thought. Honestly she felt staying in all the time was becoming unhealthy. She was grateful for her relationship with George, but it got to the stage where she needed to start socializing with her friends again.

"I told you I was going out with my friends tonight" Ava replied.

This was true and George had forgotten.

"Why don't we stay in anyway? I have already started cooking" George said.
"I already said to the girls I am going out. This was planned" Ava replied.
"But I have already started cooking"
"Babe, it is just one night. We stay in every night"
"When will you be back?"
"I don't know. Late"
"I will wait up for you"
"No, don't"
"What time is late?"
"I don't know. I will call you. OK?"

Ava really wanted to cut the conversation short because she felt like she was fifteen again answering to her over controlling father. She kissed George on the cheek and said "bye". Apart of her had guilt for leaving George on his own, but her stronger half made her stand by her decision as she hated being made to feel small. And for the first time, that is how she felt around George. When the front door shut, the flat seemed empty. Not that George had a problem with it, he liked his quiet, but when a female came into his life, it brought an injection of magic to his place no amount of success could buy. He missed it, it was only one night, but he knew he only had himself to blame for his controlling ways. However, he too was going to stand by his decisions all the way to the end no matter what.

After dinner, George was in his office working through the evening on his novel, until he fell asleep.

In bed, Ava was wide awake, her head spinning a little from the alcohol still swirling around in it. She had a good night with her girlfriends, but she couldn't sleep and it was because of George. She was becoming unhappy and was feeling a taste of falling out of love with George. It was because he didn't do anything else other than write, his lifestyle was becoming too much pressure for her.

"Baby, are you awake?" Ava said.
"Yes" George replied.
"Why don't you go out?"
"I do"
"No you don't"
"I will"
"Why don't you have any friends to go out with?"
"I do and I will"

There was something very hidden in the responses Ava got. She thought perhaps George was too ashamed to admit he didn't have any friends or social circles and that he was one of those genius famous people with a lost identity to social connectedness. Either way she loved him and was willing to hang in their with him. In a way, she felt now she had to save him and was going to get him friends and social groups if he accepted the offer.

Thousands of people turned up to the book signing event. George, the star of the show was signing his book. The Writers Remains was an instant bestseller and critics from The Times to The Guardian were there given live reviews of the book. George embraced his triumph and that is how it felt to him. His smile could be seen from the other end of The Waterstone's in Piccadilly Circus. His loyal fans were ecstatic to see their hero, to get a signed copy of the book with their Iphone's at the ready for selfies. There was something different about George, everything from how well he looked to the sparkle in his eye, he looked like a person. The critic's giving interviews praised the book and how Jane, the antagonist got justice served to her.

Then Ava walked in to see her man. She put on a brave face, but underneath she was experiencing something related to domesticated unhappiness. However, when she saw George she was just as surprised to see a new man too.

"Congratulations love" Ava said and kissed him. George stood up.

"I am sorry Ava for being cold. My work is finished and I can be a normal person again"

Ava didn't know what he meant. But eventually realized George lived by the ritual of completely shutting himself off from the world when writing a novel. She was surprised to know he sacrificed almost everything of himself for the novel, and knew that was the level of writing she was not ready for!

George was cooking in the kitchen again, chopping tomatoes. There was enough food to cater for twenty people. Ava walked in and saw the the kitchen being taken over by food.

"Are we expecting people babe? Ava said.
"Yes we are babe" George replied.

Then the door bell went. George answered it and his circle of friends walked in with refreshments and booze. Ava became aware it was a party night which she wasn't informed about. George kissed her and seeing George's friends only added to the strange but delightful mysterious about the man thought Ava.


www.neilsonblackblog.blogspot.co.uk

An interesting story, Neilson. The best parts were the two dialogues that took place between George and Ava before and after she went out for the evening with her friends. I wish you had put in more dialogue in the earlier half of the story where it is almost all exposition. Remember the "show, don't tell" principle. For example, while he's working at a coffee shop in Soho, he makes eye contact with a woman who is also typing at a Macbook. Then the next thing you know, they are back in his apartment and now living together. I think some dialogue when they first meet, at least, would be useful, rather than all the exposition, and would help the reader to get to know the characters better.

The first few paragraphs were also a little confusing because I had to go back a couple of time to be sure I understood when you were talking about George and when you were taliking about Peter, the character in his book. You might be able to fix that simply by indenting or by putting in italics the passages that refer to the novel George is writing; better yet, since the content of the novel George is writing does not really have anything to do with the main story about the relationship between George and Ava, maybe it's best not to get into any specifics of the novel's plot at all.

I found a big improvement in the syntax and the phraseology from some of your previous posts. There were just a couple of spots where Microsoft's Spelling and Grammar tool failed you, such as in the last sentence - "mysterious" should have been "mysteriousness." But overall the story was much clearer to read. Good job!

Hi Fountains,

Thanks for the comment. Also for pointing out about the dialogue. Before, my dialogue tended to be one of my weaknesses when writing, so over time I have tried to work on it; I always speak from the truth of the character now. So I hope it has gotten better, thanks.

I see I have fallen back into that horrible trap of "show don't tell!!". When I first started out writing that's all I ever did, and constant practice over time kind of writes your way out of it! I'll watch out for that. Sometimes I can get so involved with the narrator explaining the story, you forget.

I also agree about the confusion with the 'story within a story' of Peter. It definitely could have been made/edited clearer. I see that only after reading the story back a few times and honestly laziness stopped me from cleaning it up! I have to get better with that.

Grammar is an ever improving aspect as well. But I am glad you liked the story generally. I am always trying to come up with interesting plots and delivering them the best way I can and ultimately in a way that is enjoyable to the readers. Always improving to gain the enjoyment of others is the aim. I know I said it before, but I am definitely going to read one of your stories now :)