Is this an odd phrase in English?

Hi. I am not a native English speaker but somehow I gotta have to translate my poetry in Persian to English. so I maybe converting some of the poetries to English with odd sentences ( where those sentences doesn't actually exist in the English lexicon of functional phrases and slangs).

I don't tend to write that Persian phrase (As I know you may not be a persion) but I want you to suggest me a functional English phrase instead of it.

The phrase is as below :
"Time rewinds to the moment we ......."
And it's regarding a memory or a tale a person has called in and wants to narrate it. (about love or whatever).
What's your best suggestion instead of that phrase?

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Originally Posted by siros1

Hi. I am not a native English speaker but somehow I gotta have to translate my poetry in Persian to English. so I maybe converting some of the poetries to English with odd sentences ( where those sentences doesn't actually exist in the English lexicon of functional phrases and slangs).

I don't tend to write that Persian phrase (As I know you may not be a persion) but I want you to suggest me a functional English phrase instead of it.

The phrase is as below :
"Time rewinds to the moment we ......."
And it's regarding a memory or a tale a person has called in and wants to narrate it. (about love or whatever).
What's your best suggestion instead of that phrase?

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Sometimes a closer translation of a foreign phrase with its exclusive metaphorical associations works better than finding a peculiarly English expression which may convey the meaning in a simple and direct way to an English reader but on the downside may cause the original idea to 'lose in translation'. For example, see Edward FitzGerald's translations of Omar Khayyam. Wonderful though they are, his last draft of quatrains reads more like original work of FitzGerald than a translation of the inimitable Omar Khayyam.

Whether or not your line 'time rewinds to the moment we...' is suited depends on the context of your poem, the manner in which you want to relate the story, and the lines preceding and succeeding it. Without this information I doubt if anyone can come up with a better alternative.

The entire sentence could be something similar to this:
"Time rewinds to the moment we first met".
(the dot finishes the phrase).

What could be a good instance to "time rewinds" ?
I'd be glad to know a few suggestions.

I quite like the fragment as it is. Would be elegant in prose-not so sure about verse. Could you supply surrounding lines for context?

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Originally Posted by Jaylon Wennings

I quite like the fragment as it is. Would be elegant in prose-not so sure about verse. Could you supply surrounding lines for context?

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Yes, By all means! But I wanna learn is an expression an English speaker uses when he tends to walk though the memory lanes and narrate a memory way back in his youth and all....

"Time rewinds to the moment we met each other high up on that hill where the silver linings of the grey skys were shedding the glimmers of light on us".

It's a poetry. A verse.

In everyday prosaic English, it would be something like: 'I remember the time we met on the top of that hill. It was cloudy' or 'it sure brings me back to the time we met...' or 'look at the clouds, they remind me of the time we met...'

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Originally Posted by Cleanthes

In everyday prosaic English, it would be something like: 'I remember the time we met on the top of that hill. It was cloudy' or 'it sure brings me back to the time we met...' or 'look at the clouds, they remind me of the time we met...'

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Thank you for your comprehensive answer, but I want "Time" to be the agent.