Well here is one of mine.

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It ain't bad, T. But it is long. Is that first stanza helping your poem or just dragging it out? The whole thing could do with a thinning, though.

Mostly it's an improvement from your other ones (posted in the Serious Discussion forum) because it escapes advertising/cliché and actually describes something interesting. There's truth to it; hooking up is funny business sometimes.

Why it's a poem as opposed to prose-- presumably only you know. Anyway, worth a read for sure.






J

Thanks!

Sorry, I had to take it down as the Burningword magazine copyright does not allow me to post it until the end of this year.

I am reluctant to post on this forum as formal poetry is very popular on here, with much talk of stanzas, and my other favourite - metering, and etc etc..

I am happy that I was published in several magazines and now have gotten more acceptances this month.

I do enjoy this forum for it's undying respect for Keats, Yeats, even Wordsworth and I enjoy them as well.