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Today: me, him. Him:
- Child. Radiant child.
Our eyes meet -
me, him, radiant children
joy on the spot. Now
that he’s gone now
that there are no more children
neither he nor I… neither I nor he
I'm afraid of myself
I’m afraid for me –
for him - of him in me !
Now that he’s gone...
__________________
I read this in a Father and Son context and found it to be really powerful Jeos and one of my favourite readings.
Reminds me of a movie by Andrei Tarvosky called The Mirror
Really appreciate your comments, thanks.
This text was (is) important to me in different ways ... e.g. as regards the technical aspect was completely experimental ...!
"We poets have to try to say things differently...!" said someone that I knew...
The only thing i have a problem with in this poem is the second line in S3. You really need a comma after gone and I'd prefer for the last now to be the first word of S4. Apart from that, it's etremely expressive in its sparseness.
Live and be well - H
Thanks for the tips...always a pleasure Hawkman.Quote:
Originally Posted by Hawkman