Sex with an Amputee

My aunt Carol has been happily married to Dale for twenty-seven years. I distinctly remember dragging my sleigh up their impressive hill growing up. The only thing more refreshing than the cold air and powder was not being bombarded by smoke when I retreated into their house. They had a cozy home and a loving relationship. I’d consider them a prototype of who to affectionately imagine toasting at my wedding and holding my just-born children.

Well, not anymore. They have collapsed. I didn’t know about anything until after everything disintegrated and only smoldering limbs remained. My poor aunt Carol discovered that her husband was having an affair. Carol was heartbroken but still wanted to make things work. She said that she still respected her vows. He just needed to stop seeing the girl and life could go on relatively the same. He wouldn’t budge. The girl he was with was a twenty-two year old blonde intern. Carol at this point lost it. Caught up in all of her distress, she forfeited her life and laid on a railroad track. However she lost motivation simultaneously a split-second too soon and too late and the train dismembered the lower half of her body. Now she doesn’t have a leg to stand on.

After my mom told me all of this, I found it very hard to digest. I never would have guessed my uncle Dale to be such a thorough scumbag. He is finally exposed for who he truly is. And for what - some fresh-looking blonde? This is the pinnacle of insanity. Why can’t he see the big picture? I kept revisiting the horror that had unfolded until I fell asleep a little past three. I usually find dreams unworthy of retelling. They are strikingly one-dimensional and typically have no basis in reason or even reality. But this dream was much different. I didn’t close my eyes. I looked through new ones. I was stripped of my peripheral vision, leaving me fixated on a faceless female. We went straight to necking and then to intercourse. Things got racy very quickly and then completely unprovoked - without any warning whatsoever - I chopped her legs off and continued. She hadn’t any eyes or lips, but I heard her anguish. Through all her torment she was able to muster an accusation. She said that I must be one of those Satanists, and that this is some sort of savage satanic sacrificial ritual. I understood her contempt and suspicions, but I had to set her straight. I exclaimed, “This isn’t Satanism… this is LUST!”

The point was made and the image was branded into my brain. I am not mainstream. I have some unorthodox thoughts that many would probably think are disturbing, but I am now finally convinced without doubt that I really do see clearer. This was God in my dream. It is irrefutable. God had a message to convey and I am one of very, very few people mature enough to receive it. I’d guess that God has directly issued less than a million paradigm -shattering messages of this magnitude since he started time. I have come a long way. I remember in eighth grade I thought I was enlightened. I went to a youth retreat overflowing with self-assured but overbearingly sophomoric “insight” and opinions. I thought I was so brave and bold. I held my chest high because of my “audacity” to question God. I came up with a brilliant idea that if God does exist… he is a jerk! I thought I was not only thinking outside the box, but opening doors that will never be closed again! All I had to do was relentlessly reference the Holocaust and cancer. I never referenced Stalin or Mao because embarrassingly, I didn’t even know who they were. In my eyes Hitler was undeniably the genocide king. Anyways during one of the youth meetings I started to squirm and become agitated with the message. The youth leader kept talking about how God loves us so much that he has every single hair on our heads accounted for. I eventually lost constraint and at the end raised my hand and posed The Question.

“Does that mean that God could tell you precisely how many strands of hair are in the piles at Auschwitz?”

The room was instantly silenced, and I felt like God. The most disturbing thing about the scene was not how I was so obnoxious. The most disturbing thing was that the “youth leader” stumbled over my question like a politician. I used to grimace whenever I’d think about what happened, but no longer. What happened in eighth grade is no longer a depressing and degrading reminder. Now it puts into perspective just how triumphant I am. God told me through this dream that lust-driven actions are more than mere irresponsibility or immaturity. In actuality, lust-driven and love-void actions are treacherous, and can be as debilitating as Satan himself. Really, a man who thinks with his penis rather than his actual brain is lower on the scale of humanity than both racists and tattle-tells. If there were any doubts before about us homosapiens not being able to judge God’s actions with human perspective, they are now dead as life in sin. The fact that this is how God went about telling me such a simple message proves just how unwarranted us homosapiens are to condemn the actions of God with our primitive eyes.

I really have come a long way. Many would scoff at the dream and just consider it a freaky occurrence or an aberration. This is why I’m the one that had this dream and they didn’t. Most people don’t really realize just how important their mind is. This is why so many people spend so much time of their life in no man’s land. They are so simplistic and uninspired that they view everything as trying to reach some type of destination. The saddest thing is that more than half the time the destinations are only physical. I have risen above this crazy way of life. I’m never in no man’s land because I am smart. I am smart academically, but that isn’t what I am talking about. That doesn’t mean anything. I am smart because I herald my mind as a universe of its own. I’m never in no man’s land or limbo. Not even close, in fact, not even the sky makes me feel trite. I have a capable mind and a body full of nerves. I refuse to live life without reason, emotion, and logic. Anything short is a mockery of homosapiens. I’ve had my times of idiocy, but those are in the past. The biggest mistake I could make in life is sneezing when the opportunity to see God for just a split second arrives. So as you’d expect, I’d be damned if I’m going to put my fingers in my ears and chant gibberish
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I just wish more people would take themselves more seriously. I’m sick of being made out a fool because I actually care about people. People are nasty. Sure, it doesn’t always seem that way, but it almost always is. Aside from immediate family or great friends, nearly all hand-loaning is a facade.