Over the edge.

This is a story inspired by first job and the rage that drew up inside me when a classified customer would come to the counter.

As I dawn my blue collared shirt and my black slacks I ready my self for the onslaught of customers telling me how to do my job, the hollow hellos exchanged between strangers, and i can’t forget to put on the **** eating grin so to make sure I don’t lose my barely minimum wage job. As drop my butt into the tan seat of the beautiful red car I look into the rear view to make sure a hair isn’t out of place. I’m sure it doesn’t bother the customers but I send myself into a psychotic breakdown if i know that its there. I crank the radio to what ever sounds good and light up the mind numbing cigarette to ease the pain of the 5 hours of monotonous hell that is my job. I finally pull up to the store. My lack of enthusiasm shows as i wait in my car till what ever song is done playing, then I enter the store. Patrick, the man with no emotions. The lack of tone in his voice, The black stare as if he can see into your soul. Always sends a tickle down my spine.

“Hi Patrick, whats up” it takes him a full minute to comprehend the vibrations in the air sent from my mouth.
“Oh, uh... hi there” I brush off that always strange encounter and make my way towards the door to the office. I clock in, replace the statue at the front otherwise known as patrick and wait for my first customer. Standing at the front of the store especially when there’s no one with in a hundred feet of the counter I let loose the shackles of the store and begin to think. Whats the next billion dollar idea? Is it a toaster with a fishbowl inside it? Or maybe a kite that also acts as a radio antenna! I got it! Long thermal underwear you wear on the outside of your clothes that also have the little butt flap like in the movies.... Nah that will never catch on. Finally my trance has been broken by a older woman who has certainly but some years behind her. She seems like a nice old lady so I put on my fake smile and begin to ring up all the hard candies and the adult diapers. I’ve come to a point in my life where I never thought i would be. Ringing up condoms and adult diapers are never awkward, at all. After everything is bagged and tagged I give her the final total.

“Your total is 45.93.” she gives me a quizzical look and I felt a sicking feeling in my stomach. Those words that lead me into a downward spiral of hatred towards someone.
“ I don’t think that’s right, those candies were supposed to be on sale.” I then clench my fist around the weekly add and search through it with great haste. No coupon. I search through the monthly. No coupon. This coupon better be get all the candy you want for free. So finally i grabbed the phone and page someone to figure out this conundrum that faces me and this lady. Luckily my friend Colton is the one too appear which relieves the frustration, knowing im working with a friend I’ve known since I started this awful job helps the annoyance of the customers. He runs off and disappears into the isles. The long awkward silence hangs in the air as the two of us wait for him to return. He finally returns with the tag above the item sayings its ten cents lower than the original price. My blood was boiling. I can’t believe this lady made me go through all this business to save a dime. I would have gladly given one out of my pocket had I know. I shoo my co-worker away and re-ring the items. At this point in time a line starts to form and i can feel my aggitation show on my face. I then run through the remaining customers as fast as possible so i can return to my droll thinking of who would win in a fight, batman or superman, and what i would do with a million dollars. I finally return to reality to check the time and after all that I’m only half an hour into my shift. My eyes start to glimmer, because one of the only other reason this job is worth while is because the girl who has caught my heart strolls in through the sliding doors as if she was an angel walking through the pearly gates. We exchange smiles and waves and she then disappears into the office door. Even though me and Britney are a merely 4 years apart it just seems like decades. I start to feel the drool, otherwise the by product of my day dream roll across my hand, waking me from it. Then I see it. The worst nightmare one could possibly face in a retail store. Two carts full, one of pure holiday clearence and the other full of items from across the store. From a 20 pound box of water to little breakable candles. I’m screaming at her from the inside but all i can say is
“ Hi how can I help you.” Britney is then lost from my gaze.

What seems like an hour I’m finally done with the torture of fitting what I can into the miniscule easily destructible bags. What I assume I’m waiting for is the tender of which she wishes to pay with but to my surprise she brings out round two of this ungodly hell. Coupons. Sorted by amount,date, item and alphabetically. I jam the wrung up coupons into the dumb accordion looking folder and send the lady with the receipt on her way.

“Hey I’ve been looking all over for you, hows it going?” All over for me? I’ve been here since i got here but i can’t the manager that, I like to call him the Hipster. The what im sure is a community college degree is what he holds highest over the rest of us. Every time he tries to work in some BS thing he learned while taking buisness there and even if you understand everything he said he will drop the line. “It’s a business thing you wouldn’t get it.” Everytime I want to slug the orange skinned oompa loompa right in the jaw but unfortunately I need my job.
“Yes Bryce what can I do for you?”
“Well first I need you to rearrange the whole candy isle, then i need you to put up all the valentines decorations and i need you to rework the network from your register and also cover everyones break.” My jaw hits the ground. How am i supposed to be 6 different places at once? Rework the network? What does that even mean? Am i creating the base foundation for skynet? Even if i could do that am i supposed to do it with the dinosaur of a register they give me? My minds about to snap if i get one more thing to set me off.

Finally my breaks rears its lovely head. I grab my usual, the nut bar and the refreshing gatorade. My feet can not carry me fast enough to lock myself in the car, away from everyone to have a refreshing breath of fresh air. With my mid-night snack and cig out of the way i feel at ease and not like strangling every customer. I return inside and do what ever i can to make my way over to cosmetics to talk to Britney. I finally get enough baskets to return them to their home which just so happens to rest near the cos counter. Then after flirting with her as much as i can I’m called back to my duty to the front of the store.
“How much is a pack of marlboro lights?”
“5.47 sir”
“But at the gas station they were a dollar less.” Ok so now I have not only a cig bum on my hands but one of those people that wont give up unless they get the price they want.
“Sir can you help me find this certain battery?”
“ I’ll be with you one second ma’am”
“ What about my cigarettes?”
“Quit smoking, and ma’am this is what you’re looking for, and if it isn’t it bring it back.” Finally with those two out of the way. I return over to the cos to ask my co-worker a legitimate question, but I’m not there for more than 5 seconds before the towering 6’2” manager walks over.
“So what are you working on?” He asks with a scowel across his face.
“ I was asking Britney abou.” Before I can even exsponge the rest of my sentence i get cut off.
“No you were over here talking not doing anywork, I’m gonna have to write you up.”
“ Are you serious? I’ll lose my Job if I get written up again!”
“ You should have thought of that before you went to talk to your working co-worker.” I return to my post and slam my back against the counter. What am i supposed to do without a job? How am i supposed to pay for my car? Then again I won’t need it to get to work. Still I’ll be broke and if I’m fired it will be harder to get another job. Just as i muster enough strength to rise from behind the counter who do I see chatting up Britney? The same manager that decided I wasn’t working. The fires of hell were fueling my anger towards this man. If I was gonna go out I was gonna do it on my terms. I push all customers aside and get right in this giants face.
“ Are you F***ing serious? You hypocritical dick. You’re seriously gonna get me fired for doing the exact same thing you’re doing right now?
“Uh.”
“No! You don’t get the right to speak. Britney it was nice knowing you.” Then I crouch and jump up with as much force as I can to uppercut this Goliath and it seems his size is no longer a factor as he is out cold on the floor. I slowly walk out of the store taking anything and everything I can in, as I assume this is the last time I expect to see the inside of this store. The air never tasted so crisp and wonderful. As i buckle myself into the car and I just think of the consequences of these actions, but for right now...
I’m free.

Please everyone post responses i want to know what you all think about it.

Now I enjoyed this story. You did a good job conveying his dislike for where he is and the customers were a real pain. There are a few grammar problems which you can fix if you go back and edit them. You dawn clothes, you don them. I also noticed you sometimes narrate in the present or the past tense so go back and fix that. Overall, it's not a badly told tale. I think the build up to the end go be a bit longer - his frustration build. Perhaps Britney gives the manager a kick when he's out cold and walks out with him! lol. But that was enjoyable and the format was much more readable.

This is fun to read but a few things. The dialogue is dry. There is no emotion really when the characters converse and names should always be capped. There is a patrick in there with a small "p". And punctuation within dialogue is missing in a few spots. like "Well" or "We'll" I'm not sure which you meant. It has an amusing tone though. I liked it, just a few little things, pm if you want a more detailed explanation.