That thin line.

THAT THIN LINE

On the 16th August, I lost a friend to bone marrow cancer in the Philippines. The open letter below was written by his wife, and I believe that members of the forum would appreciate it for the feeling it evokes, even to those who never knew the man.
Regards
M

Before oblivion prevails, I’d like to put down in notes the story of a man … my friend…my very best friend, the father of my child… my beloved.
He is the eldest of eight siblings and the first grandson in the family, thus, the favorite of his kin, so loved… so admired, so that most of his relative’s male first-borne were named after him. His grandfather told me he had a very big head as a child and one time when he got sick, he became so thin that only his head was prominent, yet he claims that he was good looking as a kid. He grew up in the fields taking care of animals which were handed to him by his father and by his Lolo. Because of life’s difficulty, he instilled in his mind the idea that he should, by all means, uproot this family into a better, sufficient condition of living. Thus, after graduation in high school as a valedictorian, he went to Mapua University with scholarship and finished B.S. Mining Engineering and passed the board exam immediately thereafter . He was then hired by the same institution that gave him scholarship. He was assigned to different places, yet his ambition to go further and explore the horizon prompted him to try going abroad.

I saw him in one of the National Mining Conventions in Baguio city where I was invited to watch the competitions and he was the facilitator/emcee, yet, we were not introduced. Several years later, we met in one of the busy streets in Manila introduced by a common friend, Edwin. What seemed to me as an ordinary hi/hello turned out to be a lasting relationship…one that we have today.

I know he is no saint; he told me about his relationships after relationships since high school, of course, some serious, some were not, yet, he claimed, “ wala ako inagrabiado kahit isa”. A very religious and God- fearing person, he believed in the sanctity of marriage and this what struck me most.
After passing the Physician’s board exam, we got married. Based on trust, love and respect, he still continued working abroad and I was left here in the Philippines. In 1989, however, I joined him in Saudi Arabia where I got luckily hired. Three years after, our only child was born. He was not a perfect person, but to his child, he is the best…her superman, adored even at an early age. The best times of our lives were when we were together, watching our child as she grew. No one can fathom the happiness I feel whenever, I see them whispering their secrets…conspiring on what gift to give…, up to his last breath, I know they have one.

Though his work prompted him to stay away from us most of the time, the times we spent together were the most unforgettable moments the three of us would cherish no matter how few they maybe. There were moments of conflicts too, triggered by people who wanted nothing but to cause chaos in marital relationships, yet, courageously, we faced them and casted them off.
Things were going well till one day, two years ago, lightning struck on broad daylight in our lives. At the peak of his life, an awesome job in an equally awesome place, with a growing lovable daughter, a home envied by anyone… he was diagnosed to have Big C… yes…Cancer…dreaded by anyone. For quite sometime, we wept… fearing the future. He was devastated, who doesn’t? Dreams crumbled, we didn’t have anyone to run to, no one to cling on but each other, and GOD. With the people we loved, our child, our siblings from both sides, friends from anywhere, we prayed.

And so the battle began… our aim? To win against Cancer. We followed all protocols in his treatment, no matter how much it cost, we didn’t care. What mattered most is for him to live a longer life. At first, we saw improvements, so we went on. He was able to go back to work but he came home every six months for re-evaluation, but things were getting off hand... That line we were clinging into became thinner everytime …metastasis became progressive despite all the medications given him. Chemotherapy proved useless… hopes were going down..but still we didn’t give up…We believed that one day, he would wake up..with all his pains gone…with all his sufferings gone… and he will go back to his life as if nothing happened. Everyone prayed for his recovery.. even prayed for miracles if there still are.

On August 16, 2011, that thin line snapped… beyond repair. No matter how we tried to tie the knot back, nothing could be done anymore…God has called on Him to rest, simply because his mission on earth has been completed. Few hours before his last breath, he said “ No one will leave… no one will be left behind”. But he surrendered…letting His Will be done, no matter how painful it may seem at first, we all surrendered.

And so… we had let him go, slowly, telling him to think happy thoughts… telling him to rest, for we believe that someday, till life beyond the grave, we will be together again.

Indeed, he didn’t leave and no one was left behind, because he will dwell in our hearts forever. In every sunrise that I will see, in every sunset that I will wait, in every plane touching down, in every pretty rainbow my child and I will chase, in every unique colored butterfly we catch and let go, in everything… in everything…he will always be there.

Papa, you are that man… the man I will love forever…till life beyond the grave.