In love with Mellors......

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08-31-2011, 01:19 PM
steph73

In love with Mellors......

While scanning through Netflix a few weeks ago, my husband, ever the more intellectual of the two of us and 10 years my senior, added this same film to our queue - both the 1993 BBC version as well as the 2006 French version. Ever prudish and a bit hesitant at watching a film whose plot was described centering on a "sexual awakening", I put off watching it for as long as I could. Then one night last week while lying in bed after surgery my husband asked if I wanted to watch it and I gave in to the irresistibility of classic literature and, of course, Sean Bean and my world was forever changed!

As we watched the first two episodes that night, I was intrigued by Sean's character. I lost most of the dialog due to Mellors' heavy brogue. I have never cared for Jolie Richardson, so I tried to look past her inability to act in this role. I finished the series the next night and was left totally unfulfilled by the ending but completely hooked. So the third night we watched the French version and on the fourth day, I read the book, mostly to cover the dialog and what not that I missed in the first film.

Here it is a week later and I'm still obsessed with the story, but I think mostly it's because of Oliver Mellors. I read and reread his parts of the book over and over and over again to the point where he has ceased to become merely Sean's character, but rather a character all his own. Lawrence wrote so much life into Oliver Mellors that I believe I can actually feel the warmth of his breath, see the sparkle in his eyes and watch the changing facial expressions as he speaks. The character has a life all his own.

Having read the book and done a fair amount of research to this point, I must say how disappointed I am in how this story is percieved, analyzed, and even soiled. It is not a story of a woman's "sexual awakening" as Netflix so horridly puts it. Neither is it pornographic as some say. Yes, it's very sensual and very "vulgar" in spots (by today's standards), but vulgarity is not intentioned. What it is, however, is a true love story - a story of true, passionate, unyielding, ever persevering, totally enveloping, completely rapturous love - the kind that catches you unaware and hurts because there are always consequences.

While I agree that the class issues and the intellectual issues of the period are unmistakably preached by Lawrence throughout the novel, I truly believe most people are missing the point. Sadly, most people will never get it. They will never understand tenderness, rapturous love or the feelings and sensuality Mellors shares with Connie. And an understanding of those things is crucial to uncovering Lawrence's true message in this novel.

You see, I am Connie and I married Oliver Mellors nearly 8 years ago. Remove the wealth and class distinction and Lady Chatterly's Lover so closely resembles my adulthood that it is almost autobiographical. Of course, my husband doesn't have that irresistable Derbyshire brougue and his ancestry is Scottish rather than English and our lives are complicated with several children of varying ages, but he is most definitely Mellors. It is unmistakeable. Just as I am most definitely Connie. It's almost as if Lawrence did a character study on the two of us when he created those two beautiful characters 80 years ago.

I whole-heartedly believe that what my husband and I have together is so rare that I would venture less than 10% of the world's population feels it ever in their lifetimes. Lawrence got it with Frieda and was able to put that beautiful experience on paper. Mellors speaks of it in awe to Connie. Even Mrs. Bolton describes it passionately. The message is so clear to me that it shouts - how can anyone miss it??

I am so thankful to D. H. Lawrence for this novel. And I sincerely hope you find *your* Mellors.
09-01-2011, 02:22 AM
prendrelemick

Wow!

Beware of reading more Lawrence, These passionate comings together of man and woman, often turn to ashes before the end of the book.
09-01-2011, 06:47 AM
kelby_lake

Quote:

Originally Posted by steph73

It is not a story of a woman's "sexual awakening" as Netflix so horridly puts it.

If you describe "sexual awakening" as "horrid", you're totally missing the point of the novel. Lawrence's argument is that sex is not inherently dirty or pornographic: it is only society who makes it so. As a member of the working class, Mellors is free from this prejudice, but Connie and her husband aren't. Mellors changes Connie's attitude and so they can have true happiness together because they understand the difference between sensuality and promiscuity.

The theme of the intertwining of spiritual love and physical love appears in many Lawrence novels. However in these novels the characters cannot find the healthy balance and they remain unsatisfied.
09-01-2011, 10:13 PM
Buh4Bee

I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding myself. The book is so significant because of the class distinction between Connie and Mellors. This is not just an ordinary affair, but an extraordinary connection between two people in a very fundamental way. What makes it so controversial, besides the explicit descriptions of sex, is Connie's willingness to give up this privileged life to live with someone of a lower class and education. She is also risking public humiliation and the loss of society at large. She truly loves him and therefore we end the book with the hope that she follows through with this promise. You cannot equate this affair with equal weight to an affair between commoners without considering the class distinction so prevalent at the time. The scandal being risked was tremendous, and Connie was clearly willing to do it for love. That is not to belittle the pain any couple goes through when experiencing the consequences of an affair, but there is a literary distinction. Comparing this work of fiction to reality may be too difficult in general.
09-07-2011, 06:31 PM
kelby_lake

I agree about the class comment.
01-28-2014, 08:10 AM
kelby_lake

Quote:

Originally Posted by Buh4Bee

I think there is a bit of a misunderstanding myself. The book is so significant because of the class distinction between Connie and Mellors. This is not just an ordinary affair, but an extraordinary connection between two people in a very fundamental way. What makes it so controversial, besides the explicit descriptions of sex, is Connie's willingness to give up this privileged life to live with someone of a lower class and education. She is also risking public humiliation and the loss of society at large. She truly loves him and therefore we end the book with the hope that she follows through with this promise. You cannot equate this affair with equal weight to an affair between commoners without considering the class distinction so prevalent at the time. The scandal being risked was tremendous, and Connie was clearly willing to do it for love. That is not to belittle the pain any couple goes through when experiencing the consequences of an affair, but there is a literary distinction. Comparing this work of fiction to reality may be too difficult in general.

Agreed. I don't think real people today could match the magnitude of what Connie is doing. It's essentially what Lawrence did with his writing- earnestly pursue an idea that will be ridiculed and will appal because he believes so whole-heartedly in its importance.