wan eye clothed
in a cap of green drip
running rivers growing down
to water a clutch of dry aphids -
her sea is now sand
and soon to be shattered glass.
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wan eye clothed
in a cap of green drip
running rivers growing down
to water a clutch of dry aphids -
her sea is now sand
and soon to be shattered glass.
I get the impression of a progression from a drip to an ocean to shattered glass. I'm not sure about wan. Do you mean one? I like the possibility of its deeper meaning (esp given the title) I'm a poor critic unfortunately and can only say that something is missing. It reads like it has flow but is also too abstract (I can't feel the increasing current) to take me on the journey intended if that makes any sense.
Otherwise, unique.