Please rate the quality of translation.

My girlfriend - known in Russian writer Alexander von Lorenz. She writes romantic novels for women. In Russia there are published four of her novel. She has written over 10 novels. Now her novels translated into Italian and German. English translators are also offered their services. But Alexander has no friends, who spoke in English as native.
Could you assess the quality of translations, which sent her?
I think Englishman can be seen on the front pages of text that a translator is good or bad
Thank you all.
Sorry for my English

example 1

The two virtues Radmila inherited were her rare beauty and genuine heart. It was her kindness that made her save Ulrich Von Einstein from inevitable death when she found him mortally wounded in the forest. But the beauty could not even imagine what a fabular journey in life it would take her on. The arrogant and cruel knight tries to make her his lover. But being smitten by Radmila’s beauty and burning with passion he kneels down for her to marry him.

Au!Here's who else?

This is not a translation good enough for publication.

The two virtues that Radmila had inherited were her rare beauty and genuine heart. It was her kindness compassion that made her save Ulrich Von Einstein from a an inevitable death when she found him mortally grievously wounded in the forest. But the beauty could not even imagine on what a fabular fabulous journey in life it would take her on it would take her. The arrogant and cruel knight tries to make her his lover. But, being smitten by Radmila’s beauty and burning with passion, he kneels down for in order to ask her to marry him.


Notes:
1 Several words omitted. I have inserted them in red.
2 kindness: "kindness" is acceptable but it is simply elegant variation for "genuine heart". It is poorly chosen, however. "compassion" would be better.
3 made her save: neither kindness nor compassion "made her save". "led her to save" or "her compassionate nature led her to save" would be better.
4 mortally: this is wrong. It means that he would die from his wounds whereas he evidently recovered.
5 beauty: I don't have the original but this is too old fashioned to be used as a noun. Perhaps "the beautiful girl" or simply "she" would be better
6 even: superfluous
7 fabulous: this means fabled or mystical. It is a much misused modernism for which "wonderful" may be more appropriate.
8 You should not end a sentence with a preposition (although this fault is so often encountered these days that it is unfortunately becoming normal)
9 "The arrogant and cruel knight tries to make her his lover. But, being smitten by Radmila’s beauty and burning with passion, he kneels down for in order to ask her to marry him."
"being" is superfluous.
"to ask her to marry": two verbs are unnecessary and awkward. Perhaps "he proposes" would suffice.
There is an awkward change of tense here to the present.
You should not start a sentence with a conjunction (but). You chould use a semi colon in order to link the two main clauses thus, "lover; but".
It is also poor style to begin successive sentences with the same word (but). (The first "But the" is correct because "But" is used as an adverb).
10 "it would take her": You use the indefinite "it" for two different purposes. The first (It was her kindness) is correct. The second is confusing because it now refers too vaguely to "made her save".

Please don't apologise for your, actually quite good, English. My Russian is non existent.