white crow

Don't tell me what Newton said
What Einstein came up with
I am not interested in listening
to what was there or what is there
If you want to tell me tell me then
What the future has in store for us?
Complacency is the killer of mind and soul
It just serves to nourish the 5 crude senses.
Struggle and keep struggling for the new
As old is past and past is no more!
Search for something beyond your five senses
something existent yet not known to you
but your heart
Look for some unique secret
Of the Universal Nature
Without shunning it with arrogance
Nature is not the name of a few secrets
you and your senses are so proud of
All that you perceive is not even a glimpse
Of what the Universe holds for you in her fold!
So be not content what your senses perceive
there is more material and non-material alike
yet for you to research and discover
Go ahead and don't get stuck in the belief
that a crow is black because you have never seen
a white crow!
Maybe a time will come when your belief will change
and you will be compelled to say
'This is not the end of the world!''
Here dives a white crow from the sky!!

I felt the force of this poem and it made me uncomfortable. It has a lecturing side to it.

This has a kind of logic running through it. Certainly just because a person has never seen a white crow doesn't mean they don't exist. But would you agree that logical presentation in itself is an ineffective way of invoking emotion? If you do agree with that, then what would you say produces emotion?





J

I think what irritates me most about the poem is that it presumes to assume how the reader thinks and then lectures him about how he should. I think it would be clearer if divided up into stanzas too. As its style is rather didactic, it would be more comprehensible if the various illustrations/arguments were split into "paragraphs". It would be more palatable if dusted with the sugar of humour as well.

Live and be well - H

I'd have to agree with Hawkman, Delta, and Jack of Hearts - I felt a high level of pressure/force. As if you're forcing us into believing in what you believe. If I'm wrong in any way, I'd love to know your thoughts behind this piece, because it is interesting! - inbox me (:

Theodore

Thanks all for reading and commenting on the poem, which I sincerely appreciate.
The idea behind the poem is that there is nothing such as the last word..
Nature's maze-craze is too long and complicated for human intellect to comprehend fully and humans still have a long way to go to uncover its newer secrets .

I know what you mean... but.. call me a little nit .. I'd like to have some real rhyme.. some more melody (yes it's always about the melody with me...) some linguistic wit.... something that makes it more a poem and less a sermon... (but still the topic is important and I'd like to see/haer this being put into a song or so... ^^... sounds a little like bad religion anyways)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by inbetween

I know what you mean... but.. call me a little nit .. I'd like to have some real rhyme.. some more melody (yes it's always about the melody with me...) some linguistic wit.... something that makes it more a poem and less a sermon... (but still the topic is important and I'd like to see/haer this being put into a song or so... ^^... sounds a little like bad religion anyways)

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I think you don't like free verse? It would have been unfair if I had intentionally tried to lock up my thoughts in the vault of rhyme or rhythm, so I let it go as it was!
Didactic poems have been written in English and many other languages though I never meant it to be 'didactic' but it may have turned out to be so.

I too like melody but sometimes thoughts feel like sounding free of all chains!!:)

Anyway , thanks for reading and commenting, which I deeply appreciate.

There is a time and a place for rhyme which would have diminished Mazhurs piece had he used it as a device.

I did not feel lectured. I quite like it; of course I was fortunate enough to have been able to read the comments before the poem, and maybe that helped.