On Not Answering The Telephone.
William Plomer has written a very fine article titled 'On Not Answering The Telephone.' He uses it very rarely and reluctantly and is eager to avoid it as much as possible. When he says he wiuld not be available on the telephone, people ask him is it not very inconvenient, unbelievable and foolish. Some even consider him mad. Plomer does not think phone is essential since he can eat, breathe, sleep and play without it. It is a pest and time-waster that creates unnecessary anxiety, suspense and delay. Public Phone Booths are smoky, unventilated and with people cursing on your back for your taking too much of time.
Telephone is a nuisance since it rings while you are eating, sleeping or bathing. In his opinion, all telephone numbers are wrong numbers since it rings idiotically in the privacy of your home. Whatever news is there would reach you anyway. Good news nowadays seems to be travelling as fast as ill news. Truth will out any day. Saying Hello to a stranger on the line is unbearable to a reserved person, especially to an Englishman. Printing names in the Telephone Directory invites strangers and criminals to engage you in conversation. One needn't own a telephone to make an emergency call since it can be made from any Public Telephone Booth. One well known actor once said, if he was left alone to live on a desert island and allowed to take just one luxury with him, he would take the telephone being sure that it would never ring there and he would never have to answer it. Dislike of telephone is universal, in spite of its usefulness on certain ocassions. Concluding his essay, Plomer humorously says that his business with the use of words is about to stop since he is wanted on the telephone.