"how can i help?"

"how can i help?" he asked
she stopped for a moment, and looked down at her feet as she thought. for the past several weeks after David's death people had been asking and asking her what they could "do to help." it wasn't that she ignored them, or didn't appreciate their efforts to console her, it just didn't seem possible that anyone could do anything to help quench the immense amount of grief that plagued her day and night. how could they even begin to understand the feeling of loosing half of yourself? and now, finally someone who could actually do something was asking what they could do. the answer that was forming in her mind terrified her. when David left he hadn't just left her with this terrible grief but also with a burning passion that was alight deep within her chest, and as time went on the passion and need for him hadn't dissipated, if anything, it seemed to have done nothing but intensify. If Ben refused to help her how she was thinking he could, it wouldn't matter, things couldn't get any worse than they were now. so slowly, she lifted her head and looked him straight in the eyes.
"make love to me."
he paused, with the slightest hint of surprise on his face, but the look was quickly replaced with one of impassiveness. he could always hide his emotions well. the pause was getting long to the point that she was about to turn around and leave when he grabbed her hand and started leading her away.


the room was dark save for the beam of moonlight that made its way through the solitary window high up on the wall. it was a really tiny room- if you could even call it a room- in the back of the stables. a small storage room, well lets be honest, it was a closet, that was made for keeping who knows what but was now empty save for dust bunnies and cobwebs. Ben was sitting on a pile of hay that he had covered up with a blanket in the corner. both of them had solemn looks on their faces as Elizabeth made her way over to him and straddled him so she was facing him, sitting on his lap. after studying his face for a moment she slowly lifted his simple shirt over his head. she avoided his gaze that she could feel boring into her face as she rubbed her hands methodically up and down his bare chest. the muscles were tanned and hard from long days of hard work out in the relentless sun. then he lifted her chin and forced her to look him in the eye. she did for a moment, then she cradled his face in her hands, and closed her eyes. Elizabeth then leaned in and planted her lips softly onto his. it was a long, tentative kiss as her mouth tested the unfamiliar territory. their faces came apart for a moment and both were still, noses not even an inch apart, eyes closed, taking in the alien newness of the kiss. then she leaned in again but this time molded her lips against his. she took note of the soft way his lips felt against hers and it was when their mouths were forming against each other that his strong arms wrapped around her and pulled her body tightly up against his. gingerly she let her tongue trace the shape of his lips and she felt a shiver run through his body. as the kisses began to get more passionate, she began to feel that tingling that at one time only David could produce in her. and when she felt an unfamiliar pressure, she didn't shy away but rather embrace it and pulled herself closer.
Elizabeth let out a small gasp as his hand found its way up her shirt and cupped her breast. her senses went wild as a plethora of nerve waves coursed throughout her body, only increasing the urgency that was growing deep within her. she untangled one of her hands from his hair, grabbed his hand and forcefully pushed it up against her breast. he didn't need more prompting and soon she was bare chested and his hands were making their way needfully all over her body. she leaned her head back and let out a soft moan as he started kissing his way down her neck. her hands traveled farther down his back and held on tightly as he kissed her breasts. the amount of want that was growing up in such a way that if it kept building like this she felt should wouldn't be physically able to bear it. she pulled her arms from around him and stopped short as she touched his belt buckle. they both stopped for a moment, panting heavily, the taste of each other on their lips. her hands started to shake as she fumbled with his buckle. his hands wrapped around hers and helped her to undo it- he had no problem at all of ridding them of the rest of their clothes. then he was on top of her, and the weight of him which she would have expected to be uncomfortable wasn't enough so she grabbed a hold of him and pulled him even tighter to her. their bodies fitted together, he put his head beside her neck and she thought his breathe felt like heaven upon her tingling skin. she never could have imagined just how perfectly two people could fit together like this. she turned her head to the side and was kissing his neck, and as she kissed his ear another shiver racked his body.
then it was over and he laid back on the blanket with his eyes closed. she sat up, knees pulled to her chest and tucked her disheveled hair behind her ears, holding the sides of her head to keep all of her thoughts and feelings that were racing around in her head from spilling out all over the place in big, ugly mess. a single solitary tear escaped and made its way down her face, then it fell and started to make a lazy trail down her leg. Ben sat up and looked at her, his look of contentment changing to one of concern as he saw the tears building in her eyes.
"whats wrong Beth?" he asked.
she started to answer but then the tears began to flow and soon sobs were racking her body. for the second time he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to lay by his side and he simply held her as she cried and cried and cried.

An interesting, and I'm sure all too common, variation on closure following the death of a loved one.

It reminded me of an episode in J G Ballard's "The Kindness of Women" where grief and the need for physical comfort are so overwhelming that guilt is cast to one side for a moment.

Well-written and quite original. I'm guessing the lack of capitalisation at the start of every new sentence is down to the way you posted this rather than an intentional style.

H

Thank you so much!

Yes, the lack of capitals was simply because I wrote this on the mac text edit which doesn't have spell check, and once I was done I realized I really didn't want to go back through and re-capitalize everything. (: