The Aussie Disaster

Us blokes wear freedom
like an old pair of jocks.
Where I come from,
anyone can squeeze the toothpaste
tube in the middle
and yell 'Yaaaaah!' in the mirror
while they do it.

Nobody ever went missing
when they said the government sucked.
We dress up like Klu Klux Geese
and jerk off over a biscuit.
Yeah, male bonding in a budgie smuggler
is the only way to go!

We don't need no face masks here
in the quarantined air of freedom.
We can inhale the pollution
and exhale cigarette smoke in a
baby's face then ask the mother
if she fancies a root.

I hear there's alot of sushi in Japan right now
but that doesn't measure up against
my homeland where men have the right
TO LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT UP.
Go you bastards!

We're pure Angus Beef and you know
how a man likes to push out an onion ring
that gets stuck?
Have a few chilli beers and join in the fun!

You see, in this kingdom, we're oblivious.
I get to drink the last of the milk
and put the empty bottle back in the fridge
so the kids know I'm A REAL MAN OF POWER.

Now get lost while I crack a tinnie
and laugh me a ss off at
Americas Hardest Prisons
then make up jokes about how the Japs
can use all that stored whale blubber.

You do realise that Perth is the Most Remote and Flattest City in the Known Universe, don't you Delta?

Is someone holding a gun to your head and forcing you to live there or something? I went there once and couldn't escape the dump fast enough - maybe you should consider one of the 'cultured' Aussie flavours for a change, if you don't want to waste the next forty years kicking around the same old town that is

Those Swan River Mining Billionaires won't save you, you know - Bondy was a crook and Hancock had an emptier than empty life

Get out while there's still time!

Thanks for the hot air rant (I'll just put my hair back in place!). How about reviewing my poem instead of attacking where I live?

Ouch!

lol. Too late. I read your unedited response!

I can identify with this poem all too well. Where I hail from (Indiana), there are men that protect their backyard garbage fires with shotguns. You have no idea how badly I wish that was a joke, and that I had the stamina to keep it humorous... Big Sigh.

As a poem, it moves along smartly and does all it's asked to do. As a piece of social satire, it's brilliant!

Deryk - I wish it was a joke too!

Prince - thanks. I thought about using it in a play I'm writing atm.

Unadulterated freedom. You do a great job of presenting it as such.

I didn't appreciate the reference to Japan. It's too soon to be making a joke like that, at least for me, but it didn't diminish my appreciation of the poem.

Wow, this is scathing, Delta dear, but that's what satire is.
(I have a young relative who lives in the Land Down Under and hope he doesn't see this, though.)

In most cases, the best work happens when the writer is cool, calm, and keeps her emotions in check (cf. T.S. Eliot's advice); nevertheless, interesting, powerful things can come out when she's "fired up."

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AuntShecky

Wow, this is scathing, Delta dear, but that's what satire is.
(I have a young relative who lives in the Land Down Under and hope he doesn't see this, though.)

In most cases, the best work happens when the writer is cool, calm, and keeps her emotions in check (cf. T.S. Eliot's advice); nevertheless, interesting, powerful things can come out when she's "fired up."

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I thought I was being contained but maybe there is a few holes in me...lol

Delta I thought it was well crafted and you seemed pretty contained to me and in quite good spirits.

I can only imagine what it would have read like if you were in a bad mood.

kitty

It's quite good satire, although I'm also a bit leery about the Japanese lines.

I don't know whether it is the human condition to circulate jokes in the face of disaster as a way to cope with the sense of no control over one's fate but that is why I made the reference - in its cruel honesty.