[unsure...]

I ran into a wall
cloud. (I think
I broke it
open.)

A leak sprang
from the bottom.
Down, down,
down it
fell upon a farmhouse.

It spread across
an open field.
Wider, wider,
wider – a mile wide
it became.

Swallowing the
field in one gulp.

Golf balls rolling
off the top shelf cloud
(Like snow in August)

There were
no survivors.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by justice4all

I ran into a wall
cloud. (I think
I broke it
open.)

A leak sprang
from the bottom.
Down, down,
down it
fell upon a farmhouse.

It spread across
an open field.
Wider, wider,
wider – a mile wide
it became.

Swallowing the
field in one gulp.

Golf balls rolling
off the top shelf cloud
(Like snow in August)

There were
no survivors.

---

As for me, I'm unsure, justice4all, if I fully understand your poem. It reads as if the N witnessed an airplane crash or sth... I can feel the drama and the violence of the event. Would you give some help with a short explanation? It inspires me with horror feeling, but that was surely your intention.

I think, but it's only me perhaps, that the last two lines aren't necessary. Or you could write sth less obvious in conclusion of your poem instead.

In any case, thank you for sharing your poem here and welcome (at least to me you seem to be new on this site, aren't you?) - Best regards - Bar