Evil within

This disgusting feeling
keeps on reeling
in things from the
deep abyss

eternally submerged
in a sickend plot
waiting on the puppet master to
do as he may wish

evil breathes within my eyes
although behind
a calm complexion i do hide

false is the wisdom of man
like a fool he thinks
the universe will yield to his hand
for life is like a grain of sand
on a beach
take in the whole picture
that will surely stop your ego catered
speech

as i embrace my madness
my thoughts turn savage

fortunately my ying
and yang are in balance
for just as soon as evil
seduces me to its
corner the teeter
begins to totter
and i sit in
tranquil silence

I like the voices in your head, notwithstanding minor syntax errors (yield, breathe, teeter). I'll leave the formal criticism to our in-house experts.

Keep writing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by N.W.Alexander

This disgusting feeling
keeps on reeling
in things from the
deep abyss

false is the wisdom of man
like a fool he thinks
the universe will yeild to his hand
for life is like a grain of sand
on a beach
take in the whole picture
that will surely stop your ego catered
speech

---

I observe these lines make the reader a thinker. Most of us love to refrain from thinking and choose idling in point of fact. Thinking is a painful exercise that is why most children hate to study. They keep on drilling and drilling a piece of knowledge and internalize it through continued hardships. We adults too desist from learning something new or the idea unthought-of. In this piece the poet implants in the reader an idea of the universe, that broadens the horizon of imagination and thought. Of course the pet has made a fantastic mock-up, and that turns our ego to ashes and our entire towering self image and monumental sense of physical significance or material achievements get reduced to a state of nothingness. We came from dusts and to dusts we go

thanks