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Everything old is new again
With a swipe of my brush
A scribble of my pen
As I embark I must say
Something takes hold today
It’s in the air thick as soup
If I could grasp it
Layers of colored goop
Trap it on my canvas new
Exposes my soul view
There it is, it’s appearing clear
Translucent lines and curves
Squinting eyes, as I near
Searching for that voice unheard
It’s lurking as I gird
My heart, my breath stuck in my chest
Discovery of what’s found
What’s hidden, what’s my best
Hi firefox! Welcome to Litnet. I paint too so I get it but, I think this would be a much better poem if you weren't trying to force the rhymes. It's like painting with Payne's Grey when what you really wanted to use was Prussian blue. Cheers!
An artist in search of adequacy and wholeness... the subject is noble, but I too must agree with Sophia that if you could drop the rhymes and just flow with the inner rhythm of the message, it would make a more genuine poem. But I did enjoy reading you anyway. Thanks.
I have to say I think it is a god try. There are a number of poets on the form who attempt to use specific structure and meter. I think you should keeping trying and that this piece is not a bad attempt at a decent poem.
You'd be surprised what happens when you read your poetry to people that are not poets.