"when the lion lies down with the lamb, lord..."

the fuzzy picture on my
13" rabbit ears television
displays two eyes and something
resembling a mouth, whimpering between static coughs
"happy thanksgiving, Columbus!
screech
take a moment
to E-mail us and let us know
screech
what you're thankful for"
leaving you tucked into the deep pockets of slumber, I
roll into thick cotton socks and a loose tan dress
and break open the expensive box of cigars, with
a cheap cup of coffee on the patio.
i don't want to waste your time, with a silly catalogue
of book titles and perfumes
and dress shoes I've accumulated over the years
but what I'm really thankful for is you, sprawled over my limber form
on hot summer nights, the scent of incense and a home-cooked meal
lingering in the rugged shadows
between our lips. and I can't forget how sweet
is the taste of honey in my tea after yoga in the dewy dawn
the aroma of hope after meditation, the love that I feel when
the sun shines down on me, and my mama's frail arms
curling around my pale white apparition
in the kitchen, when she's cookin'
for daddy
even though daddy doesn't kiss her
anymore.
i am thankful for the surge of life
in my legs, when I cut myself shaving.
a knick on the kneecap, the acid rain,
the blisters that burn my heels
when I wear my favorite pumps
because I'm alive
I'm alive
even the sorrow, the desperation, the hope, the joy
all seem like reasons to smile


Happy Holidays, Lit Net :)

Love life. Love this, too. It's beautiful, inspiring. See the pain and smile anyway.
Wonderful, makes me want to go out and scrawl on the wall with crayons and not care.

Thanks Silas. I like the image of just letting go and scrawling on the wall with crayons. I want to just splatter paint all over my walls and let it all out ^_^

Man i love this especially the last few lines. Wonderful. And why don't you just splash the walls with paint and let it all out.

Why not:

"to E-mail us and let us know
what screech
you're thankful for"

And my only real criticism is maybe try shorter lines. What do you think the longer lines add?

Just wonderful. A beautiful stream-of-consciousness. Upon reading "the fuzzy picture on my / 13" rabbit ears television" I knew I was in for something good. This poem is idiosyncratic, fragmentary, honest and just perfect.

I love it all, from the first letter to the last - steady in your stream, you wouldn't use a second breath to give it out to us! and my even more preferred passage in it, tender and full of love and beauty, is:
"and I can't forget how sweet
is the taste of honey in my tea after yoga in the dewy dawn
the aroma of hope after meditation..."
Thank you Paperleaves

thank you breathtest, il, daniel, and bar! dear il, I will definitely look into why I use longer lines. I write all my poems without revision, just pure stream of consciousness, so I use multiple enjambments in order to signify my one extended thought. I think that's what contributes to the lines being so lengthy. I will experiment with shorter lines and see what happens :)
Thank you all for your honesty and support--it is why I continue to grow as a poet and post on the forums!

in loving kindness,
paper

"Reasons to smile," in my book, begin with this latest of your poems, the smile widens as I reflect on our good friendship, hesitates when I think of your sensitivity to everyeffingthing, some of which is bound to be hurtful, but the smile resumes in confidence as I anticipate your next great poem or PM.

May I add,
love,
Jer

what i love is the atmosphere your poems give. it's something i can put my mind into, like a tangible fantasy. i love how the last sentiment is thankful, answering the beginning proposition. also, i didn't know if your mother was a ghost. i think you have so much to say, and try to relate all of it at once.

Quote:

---

leaving you tucked into the deep pockets of slumber, I
roll into thick cotton socks and a loose tan dress
and break open the expensive box of cigars, with
a cheap cup of coffee on the patio.
i don't want to waste your time, with a silly catalogue
of book titles and perfumes
and dress shoes I've accumulated over the years
but what I'm really thankful for is you, sprawled over my limber form
on hot summer nights, the scent of incense and a home-cooked meal
lingering in the rugged shadows
between our lips.

---

I read these lines over and over wishing I had written them. I'm so jealous! Simply wonderful paperleaves!

I think I'm going through a mood to where I'm more and more apathetic to poetry lately because you know I'm a big fan of yours, Paper, but this one left me a bit cold. I think there's something about it that's too thematically/tonally incohesive and I think it lacks your usual linguistic richness and sense of mystery I love so much. Hope I'm not being too harsh; I've been really critical of myself lately as well. :/

Thank you cogs! It feels so good to hear that! And Sophia, you always have the kindest things to say. :)
Morpheus, thank you so much for your constructive comments because they truly do help me in writing my next poem. I take all the gentle criticisms with gratitude, because you are entirely honest and I need that. So don't feel bad about being "too harsh", because you are not!

in loving kindness,
paper