The Cease Of My Faith May Be Arriving

I am becoming an atheist after the end of my schizophrenic-mystical deliriuns.

These includes talking to the Creator,which used to appears in the form of a human-being always in the North-West of the sky(very curious this dectail,the North-West);seeing Jesus Christ once by my side smoking a cigarrete I gave to him;years talking to Jesus (without praying)and hearing his responses;seeing an very beautiful angel over the neighbour's wall(I was suffering at the epoch and I had fifteen minutes of peace while staring he,which was all blue but with different nuances);talking to the dead;seeing an green aureola around the head of a very intelligent young woman.

I sold books of writers like Gershon Scholem,C.G. Jung and Nietzsche and I have resistance to go to a bibliotheca to researche.Seems that Nietzsche prevails on my mind.
Beyond my therapeutist almost convinced me hundred percent that I used to have visual hallucinations,not just auditive.
Today I do not talk alone,the motors of cars do not talk to me,I do not believe that people can desintegrate or become invisible,I do not believe in telepathy,I am not famous around the world,I cannot give eletric discharges on distant people,I stopped hitting the walls and I am healthier and living better.
Was it all pure illusion?Like the angel?
I would prefeer living eternity,but I do not believe.

hang tight my friend. i believe that Nietzche's concept of "superman" is a viable belief.

in the overcoming we become ourselves.

Hi,you from Nevada whose name I forgot.Glad to have already one response at less.
Curious thing:I've been carried tied seven times to a clinic for crack and cocaine addiction,the place was terrible,and the motive that made me stop using drugs was when I started talking to God and hearing responses;I became a Criationist.
The paradox is that,now,when I am becoming again an atheist,I never more want to see cocaine and crack to the rest of my life(I stopped in 2004).
Strange ways the mind works...
I believe I am lucid from just three months ago;I have anxiety and depression sometimes,like today, when I was thinking " I am suffering since 1986,now I am middle-age and my death is not too far;beyond what I am not enjoying still!!"
Maybe I only need a girlfriend.But I do not have a true female friend,my interest to woman usually is only in bed.

I'm kinda speechless . .. . .

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Originally Posted by Fat Romeo

Was it all pure illusion?Like the angel?
I would prefeer living eternity,but I do not believe.

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Delusions are hard to break.

Congratulations on busting yours! The link between scizophrenia and religious delusion is well-known. Getting it under control is a supreme effort.

I'm glad you realise it's all your own doing.

:)

I have faith, but given your experience I'd let it go. Good for you at arriving at this point, what a relief. Don't let anyone try to push religion on you either. What an awesome personal story!

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Originally Posted by The Atheist

The link between scizophrenia and religious delusion is well-known. Getting it under control is a supreme effort.

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Pleeease. I'm a non-believer, but I just can't stand the Dawkins-ish accusatoin that religion is some kind of disease of the mind. Obviously in this persons case he already had problems beforehand and religious dogma just fueled his hallucinations. But don't suggest that religious dogma is a cause of scizophrenia.

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Originally Posted by DanielBenoit

Pleeease. I'm a non-believer, but I just can't stand the Dawkins-ish accusatoin that religion is some kind of disease of the mind. Obviously in this persons case he already had problems beforehand and religious dogma just fueled his hallucinations. But don't suggest that religious dogma is a cause of scizophrenia.

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Absolutely agree. I have no delusions or suffer from schizoprenia, nor do i know of anyone that does and is a believer. What a load of crap.

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Originally Posted by DanielBenoit

Pleeease. I'm a non-believer, but I just can't stand the Dawkins-ish accusatoin that religion is some kind of disease of the mind. Obviously in this persons case he already had problems beforehand and religious dogma just fueled his hallucinations. But don't suggest that religious dogma is a cause of scizophrenia.

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You're reading it back to front, so first off go back and check what I said:

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The link between schizophrenia and religious delusion is well-known.

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Please note that it doesn't mention religion, but religious delusion. I also made sure to put schizophrenia first so that it would be obvious I am linking to the disease. For an unknown reason, many schizophrenics have religious delusions, and if you don't want to believe me, go and find out for yourselves.

I am not making any comment about religion being anything to do with mental illness.

Repeat: schizophrenia is known to have a high percentage of sufferers who have religious delusions as a symptom of the disease.

Gosh, you guys need to get a little less touchy and read a little more carefully.

Fat Romeo, I think you need to sort out a lot of things. I am glad you are able now to control your delusions and feel more normal. If you suffer from schizophrenia, the disease of the mind, it can be controlled by medications and there are a lot of good ones out there now. Everyday researchers and science are progressing. This disease is no different than controlling diabetes, or high blood pressure. I hope you are on medicatons now that help you to control your disease. The disease is not you; it is a disease, like any other. These type delusions, of a religious nature, are often common with the disease; but this does not make it impossible, when it is regulated, to also believe in God or a supreme being or just be spiritual. I think you are confusing the two.

Last night, I attended a NAMI meeting. That is the National Association for the Menally Ill. I took their 12 week 'Family to Family' course recently. When I came home, it was strange; but on the Yahoo homepage, was featured an incredible series on Bipolar Disorder, which can also manifest itself with delusional behavior or perceptions. I think this series may be good for you to watch; I hope in the future, they also run one on Schizophrenia specifically. It's on Yahoo...WebMD with Jane Paulie interviewing; also some fine testimonials from individuals who have overcome great odds and who stay in treatment and are doing well and living normal fulfilling lives.

If you still feel, that in middle-age, you are nearing death and that your life is still not good, you may need to work out these issues with your doctor and therapist; it sounds like a depressive state. I don't think finding a girlfriend will suddenly solve this problem. Intimacy is a difficult thing to achieve and keep on track, and if you are not happy within yourself, you can't expect another person to magically make you happy.

It's sad to me, that you feel now your only alternative is to become an Atheist. I would think that out clearly. I am not a steady church goer myself, but I do have a sense of spirituality. I feel we need something in our lives. It really is not a black and white issue and it's very common for mentally ill sufferers to have these religious delusions. These are not within the realm of normal beliefs; but extend beyond normal religious perceptions. My sister is bipolar and has been in this state; her friend once told her she was the 'manifestation of Jesus Christ in the female form'; not long after she was hospitalized for pyschotic break. At my recent meetings at NAMI, people have brought up similar stories about their loved ones delusional behavior. It's more common than you realise.

FR Try not to confuse delusional behavior with religious or spiritual belief. They really are separate issues. When they become confused and part of delusional perception, that is when they are confusing I am sure. This is where medications that control the brain chemistry can greatly aid the person to see reality from fantasy.


I hope you continue with your therapist and stay on your medications and continue to do well. It seems you have passed a huge hurdle and you are to be commended for that.

I'm not saying that religious people are crazy, or that religious belief is dangerous. But admit it, believing that invisible beings talk to you, and that you will survive your physical death, is sorta delusional.

Regards,

Istvan

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Originally Posted by Fat Romeo

I am...

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Best wishes for a long and happy life.