The Cease Of My Faith May Be Arriving
I am becoming an atheist after the end of my schizophrenic-mystical deliriuns.
These includes talking to the Creator,which used to appears in the form of a human-being always in the North-West of the sky(very curious this dectail,the North-West);seeing Jesus Christ once by my side smoking a cigarrete I gave to him;years talking to Jesus (without praying)and hearing his responses;seeing an very beautiful angel over the neighbour's wall(I was suffering at the epoch and I had fifteen minutes of peace while staring he,which was all blue but with different nuances);talking to the dead;seeing an green aureola around the head of a very intelligent young woman.
I sold books of writers like Gershon Scholem,C.G. Jung and Nietzsche and I have resistance to go to a bibliotheca to researche.Seems that Nietzsche prevails on my mind.
Beyond my therapeutist almost convinced me hundred percent that I used to have visual hallucinations,not just auditive.
Today I do not talk alone,the motors of cars do not talk to me,I do not believe that people can desintegrate or become invisible,I do not believe in telepathy,I am not famous around the world,I cannot give eletric discharges on distant people,I stopped hitting the walls and I am healthier and living better.
Was it all pure illusion?Like the angel?
I would prefeer living eternity,but I do not believe.